Page 93 of Mr. Naughty List

“I know, buddy.” Doug gave him a hug, and Carter seemed to relax a little in his arms.

The awkward moments dragged for a few seconds after Doug released Carter, until he said, “Putting all of that aside, I think that you owe Mr. Danvers an apology. Complaining to the principal has put his job at risk.”

“But she’s his mom,” Carter said in confusion. “I just wanted her to make it stop.”

“Well, Mr. Danvers is an adult, and his mother can’t tell him who he can and can’t date,” Mom said. “I suppose, if she thought Aaron was giving you special treatment because of his relationship with RJ, then she might have some cause for concern. But as it is, it’s put Mr. Danvers in an awkward position, especially since he’s closeted at school.”

“Mr. Danvers isn’t closeted,” Carter said, bewilderment warring with embarrassment on his face. “Everyone knows he’s gay.”

“Well, he doesn’t realize that.”

“He doesn’t? But he’s so…” Carter shifted around uneasily. “Gay.”

“What’s that even mean?” Mom asked.

“I mean, he’s gay,” Carter said, rolling his eyes.

“He doesn’t flit his hands around or have any particular way of speaking,” Doug said. He met RJ’s eyes then. “I mean, I know that doesn’t mean anything and that’s stereotyping, but—”

Could this family conversation get any more awkward? RJ didn’t think so, but then he wasn’t sure he’d want to bet on it, either.

“No,” Carter cut him off, annoyed. “He just…” Carter waved his hands around and squirmed. “Makes me feel…” He groaned. “Can we just stop? This is embarrassing enough.”

“Well, if you have a crush on Mr. Danvers too, I getthat,” RJ said with a grin. “I mean, I had a crush when he was my teacher.”

“You did?” Carter asked, narrowing his eyes.

“Oh, great. We maybe didn’t need to let that cat out of the bag,” Mom said. “Surely you can bond over something else.”

“His dimples when he smiles?” RJ said with a wink. “Am I right?”

Carter flushed deeply and nodded quickly, shooting his eyes to the side. “You’re right. And his…his…” He motioned in a way that indicated his butt.

“Nope, nope, nope,” Mom said. “This discussion of Aaron’s attributes isn’t appropriate. For any reason. Even gay male bonding reasons.”

“But Mom, his dimplesareadorable.”

“They are,” she agreed. “But goodness, this has all been ridiculously frank.” She pushed her hair off her face and took a deep breath. “Fuck me, let’s stop talking about it before we’re all required to seek therapy. Not that there’s anything wrong with therapy. In fact, I should make a few with the family counselor we were seeing awhile back. I think we could stand a few sessions. Just to brush up on our communication skills”—here she looked pointedly at Doug—“and to work on how to have healthy, appropriate conversations about these issues going forward.”

“That’s a good idea,” Doug agreed.

Carter shrugged, ambivalent, but not against the idea.

RJ said, “Well, I’ll be on the road, so…”

“You can FaceTime in,” Doug said.

RJ nodded. “I can do that.”

“Wait, you like guys?” Carter asked his dad suddenly, as though it had taken all this time for those words to sink in. Then he cast a skeptical look at Mom. “But she’s not…”

Mom said, “I think your father likes men and women.”

“So are you gonna get a boyfriend?” Carter asked his dad. “Like, on the side?”

“No!” Doug said, startled. “Why would I do that? I love Betsy.”

“Because she’s not a man?”