Page 90 of Mr. Naughty List
“Like she says? Excuse me, butwhat the hell?”
Aaron groaned. “I hadn’t wanted to tell you before.”
“Tell me now.” Lauren steamed silently as she listened to the horrible things his mother had said, and then she whispered, “Fuck her, Aaron.Fuck her.” She hissed and then murmured, “Sounds like I need to do some job hunting, too.”
“Lauren—”
“No! I’ve let her push you around too long and not said a word because I thought you wanted it that way. But I was wrong. You don’t. And I won’t stand by and—”
“You love your work. You love the kids.”
“So do you!”
“I know, but…I feel like something has to change. Like maybe everything has to change. For me.”
“Wow. I can’t say that I disagree, but I never thought I’d see you embrace a thought like that.”
“I know, I’ve been slow.” Aaron huffed and rubbed at his eyes. “None of that answers my question, though. Is there something wrong with me? To want a man to control me that way?”
“There’s nothing wrong with you,” Lauren said reassuringly. “What you do in bed with your boyfriend doesn’t matter so long as it gives you satisfaction and pleasure. Aaron, being submissive, if that’s what you’re implying, isn’t a bad thing or a good thing. It’s just a way of being, just like me being asexual is just a way of being. It’s not a big deal one way or another.”
“You’re asexual?”
“Yes. Maybe even aromantic. I’m not sure. I don’t really crave being with another person, not like you do, or like my other friends. Or the way my mom seems to think I should.” She rolled her eyes. “Maybe you’ve played out a certain innate, Dom/sub dynamic with your mom and that got toxic between you. But that was with yourmom, Aaron. Not a man you were choosing to play with.”
“Eww. Stop.”
“No, listen.” Lauren took hold of his chin, and he couldn’t look away. “There was no choice with your mom. No consent. Just domination and control. It’s an entirely different ballgame when you’re consenting to that dynamic with a man you’re in a relationship with. It’s not the same as being stuck in a dynamic against your will with the woman you should have long ago grownoutof dependency on.”
“I didn’t realize you knew so much about this stuff.”
Lauren shrugged, her hair sliding off her shoulder. “I’ve got that counseling degree underpinning my education degree, remember?”
“Right. But you know a lot about sexuality. I thought you’d studied developmental psych and counseling for students.”
“It took some trial and error for me to make peace with my asexuality.” Lauren smiled at him, and she looked a little vulnerable now. “I don’t mean that I physically tried out things and rejected them. But I did a lot of research and self-examination. I read a lot. I scoured the Internet. I might not want to have sex, but I enjoyed learning about it.” Flinging away her introspection, she grinned. “Are you guys keeping it safe, sane, and consensual?”
Aaron rolled his eyes. “Of course.”
“Then you’re fine. But if you’re seeing a connection between the way your mother treats you and the way that youwantto be treated by a partner, then keep in mind that it’s only abuse when it’s not consensual, safe, or sane. And nothing with your mom has ever been consciously consensual. I mean, one could argue tacit consent since you never fought back until now, but you grew up in it. So…no.”
“I’m really disturbed that you’re applying BDSM principles to my relationship with my mom.”
“It’s a little twisted, I agree, but it doesn’t mean there isn’t a connection. You spotted it yourself.”
“I know.” Aaron stared off into the distance, seeing indoor Christmas trees shine through the windows of the lakeside houses. “What am I going to do?”
“I can’t tell you what you should do, but I’ll tell you what I would do.”
“Tell me.”
“I’d call her. Not with apologies, which is what she’ll be expecting, but with a clear list of what boundaries she’ll need to start respecting in order for the two of you to move on, not only as principal and teacher, but as mother and son.”
Aaron let out a shocked laugh. “Holy shit, that’s terrifying.”
“I know. I couldn’t even do it with my mom and theDays of Our Livesupdates. But maybe that’s because in the end, it’s not a big deal, and I had a lot less to lose. You’ve got your freedom and future wrapped up in this.”
“A few days ago, you were advocating that I drop RJ so that I didn’t offend my mother.”