Page 84 of Mr. Naughty List

“Talk to me,” RJ ordered, using his dom voice, satisfied to see Aaron’s resistance crumble easily again.

Aaron shifted to sit up, hissing a little and squeezing his eyes shut briefly. RJ fought back the urge to ask if he was all right. He’d need to check him over soon, but he didn’t want to do anything prevent Aaron from talking. He was afraid if he did that Aaron might not open up again.

“No hiding?” Aaron asked. “You want the whole truth?”

RJ sat on the bed next to him and took hold of Aaron’s hands. His throat felt tight and his skin tingled with fear. “Yeah, tell me the whole truth, Aaron.”

“I think I’ve lost my mom.”

Relief, wrong and yet intense, rushed over him. He’d been prepared to hear that he’d gone too far, that Aaron hated what they’d done, or any number of things that would turn last night from a thing of beauty into a hellscape. Aaron was upset about his mother. Maybe RJ couldn’t fix that, but at least Aaron wasn’t despondent over their encounter.

“And I’m scared of what we did last night.”

Well, fuck.

RJ’s stomach dropped. “I’m sorry.”

Aaron shrugged, gazing toward where RJ had placed the platter with breakfast and the bird ornament. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay if you’re scared of me or of what we did.”

“It’s not that,” Aaron said, swallowing hard. “It’s that I’m scared of what it means when you go. When this is over. What I’ll go back to…”

He looked up at RJ with sweet, earnest eyes, and the pain RJ saw in them made his heart ache. He wanted to reach inside and take all that away from Aaron, wash it clean with affection and kisses and fierce hugs that could squeeze the pain away. “I don’t want more shitty bathroom hookups or strange men in hotel rooms who’re just passing through, and I don’t want to know what it means that I let you do those things to me, and that I want you to do it again…” He broke into a soft sob, and RJ scooted closer, searching his memory of what Pieter had said to do if he messed up and broke a sub’s heart.

But Mr. Danvers wasn’t any sub. He was Aaron. He was perfect. He was the dream made real.

RJ wrapped his arms around Aaron. The naked skin of his back felt soft under his hands. “Are you sure you wanted it?”

“I loved it,” Aaron said, head snapping up. “Don’t get all insecure on me now. I need you to”—he waved his hand around—“know what you’re doing. You do know what you’re doing, don’t you?”

“Some. I’ve studied it a little. Practiced on a few guys.”

Aaron stiffened slightly.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s stupid. But I guess I hoped… I mean, it’s good you know what you’re doing. We should be sane and safe and all the rest.”

“Consensual,” RJ supplied. “But be honest with me. What’s wrong?”

“I don’t like the idea of you doing that with anyone else. Dumb, huh? It’s good that you knew how to do it right. I really lost myself last night and you could have done anything, and I wouldn’t have stopped you—”

“Oh, baby, the things you say.”

“But I hate the idea that you’ve ever taken anyone else flying like that.”

“I don’t think I have. I got some practice in with some subs at a club in Berlin a few years ago, and I had a boyfriend that I tried to play with, but he wasn’t interested.”

“Pan?”

“Yeah. He wasn’t…like that. He was a bossy, dramatic bottom who liked to pretend to let me be in control. But true submission to another person was beyond him. He could only submit to his drugs.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry for him, but not sorry that it didn’t work between us. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be here with you, and what you gave me last night was the most beautiful gift I’ve ever received. I can’t imagine anything better than the way you just…gave yourself to me. Thank you.”

Aaron licked his lips and scooted closer, neediness rolling off of him. “But you did all the work. I should be the one thanking you.”