Page 66 of Mr. Naughty List
Families passed, couples old and young, and still they held each other in silence, letting the mild, winter night cradle them both.
When they made it back to the apartment, RJ walked a circle around the utterly fantastic silver tree. “Where’d you get the lights?” he asked, admiring the way the colored strings reflected off every silver needle, sending spangles of magical, holiday color everywhere.
“Ran down the street to Mast General. They wanted an arm and leg for them, but it beat driving out of the city to Wal-Mart.” Aaron refilled Constance’s water bowl and went to scoop the litter by the back door.
RJ stared at his bent-over ass and licked his lips.
They hadn’t quite achieved the same level of sexual promise that had been lost when Aaron’s former student had called out to them, but RJ knew they’d recapture it sooner rather than later.
“Constance is staying away from it?”
“She thinks it’s evil.” Aaron smiled. “The citrus is doing the trick.”
“Good.” RJ sat down on the sofa, glad to see a cozy quilt laying across the back. “Mind if I kick my shoes off and get comfortable?”
Aaron smiled over his shoulder at him as he shoveled some clumps of litter into a bag. “Go ahead. I’ll be there in a minute.”
While Aaron finished up and washed his hands, RJ settled back on the sofa, shoes off, quilt over his shoulders, and a slow, steady thrum under his skin. He could get used to this. He wondered if Aaron had any snacks around. He wasn’t usually munchie after a show, horny being the operative word for his post-show yearnings, but he wasn’t ready to rush anything tonight. They had time. Tomorrow was Sunday, and he was pretty sure Aaron wouldn’t be waking early to head to church. They had the whole night to spend together.
As Aaron dried off his hands, he turned to the fridge and called over his shoulder, “Lemon seltzer water or regular tap water? That’s what I’ve got at the moment. Sorry, I should have picked up some beer. Or wine.” He scratched at the back of his head. “Or maybe some liquor. I don’t really drink at home.”
“Lemon seltzer water is fine.”
Aaron poured them both a glass and brought it over along with a bag of corn chips and a bowl of salsa. “I’m starving. Dancing and flirting make me a hungry boy,” he said, and RJ wasn’t sure if he was glad that flirtatious tone was back, or disappointed that Aaron was signaling that serious discussion was now shelved in favor of advancing toward sex.
RJ put a chip in his mouth, crunching as he watched Constance stalk over to the tree, hiss at it, then flee again. “She really hates it,” he observed.
“Perfect.”
“So, why’d you come tonight? I thought you needed some time alone.”
Aaron dipped his chip in salsa, chewed it thoroughly, and swallowed before answering, obviously weighing what he wanted to say.
“I could tell you that I got horny again, which wouldn’t be a lie. We’re good together. In bed, I mean.” He glanced up at RJ. “And maybe out of bed. I don’t know. But…” He swallowed hard and darted his eyes toward the Christmas tree again before pulling his gaze back to RJ. “I decided I’d like to find out.” He put out his hands. “Look, I know you’re not staying. That you’re not looking for anything long term. But like I said earlier tonight, I’ve never allowed myself to have anything real. This”—he gestured between them—“is real. It’s messy and complicated and not going to last. But real.”
RJ’s tongue felt stuck to the top of his mouth, so he just nodded and was grateful when Aaron went on talking without requiring a real response.
“I don’t expect anything out of you. I promise. But if you want… If you feel the same, I mean.” He blew out a breath, obviously trying to get his words in order. “If you’d like to see what happens between us whenever you’re in town, I’d like that too. Because I genuinely like you, and I think…” He blushed. “I think you could be good for me, RJ. An inoculation against the fear of letting myself have what I want. Fear that I don’t deserve it.”
“Oh, babe,” RJ murmured, reaching out to touch Aaron’s cheek. He slipped his hand around his neck and tugged him close, holding him against his chest. Aaron melted against him, the tension that had filled him as he’d spoken releasing with a heavy sigh of relief. “You deserve everything good.” He almost stalled out then, wavering between promises he’d never be able to keep, a future he didn’t believe possible, and the undeniable urge to open his heart a crack and be even half as brave as Aaron was being right now.
His hesitation lasted a breath too long, because Aaron pulled away and wiped at his eyes. “Don’t feel obligated, RJ. If you just want to fuck and move on, that’s on the table too. I’d never ask more from you.”
Though he kind of just had, hadn’t he? Aaron had balls-out said he wanted to see what they might be, and RJ was being a coward right now. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. Casey and Joel, and definitely Becca, would call him out so hard if they were here.
Gazing into Aaron’s eyes, he no longer knew which way was up, and yet he knew what he wanted to say. Hadn’t he promised himself during that sunrise on Montmartre to be honest with himself, to live a better life, and to not run away from the things that scared him? Like making a new demo, and visiting his mom, and…and…maybe something that could become love.
“I don’t feel obligated, and I do plan to fuck you until you can’t walk straight, Aaron,” RJ said, carefully. “But there’s no—”
“No way this would work. I know.” Aaron began to pull away.
RJ tugged him right back into place. “You didn’t let me finish. I was going to say there’s no doubt I haven’t felt like this in a long time. And the last time I did, well, it was a disaster. I’ve been in love before—”
Aaron’s eyes widened.
“Don’t freak out. This isn’t a declaration. I’m just saying that I’ve been in love before and it ended really badly. So, like you, I’m skittish.” He pushed away his pride and admitted, “Maybe even afraid. But it’s for a different reason than you. My last lover was a drug addict. I lost him to the drugs.”
“I’m sorry.”