Page 38 of Merciless Queen (Moretti Mafia #1)

Harlow

Three weeks passed since I woke up, and I was getting married tomorrow.

Caterina pushed it back to help me heal more and make sure everything was situated for the wedding.

In between therapy, painting, sitting with the boys, and talking with Caterina, I’d been reading.

It was odd jumping back into something else that I loved.

I’d been cooped up in my bedroom, reading the books Lizzy had and avoiding people.

Someone would knock on the door to check on me and I’d go to the kitchen for food, but other than that, my nose was buried in a book.

I used to read fantasy before I was taken, but Lizzy had romance books that she loved.

She said they were an open-door romance, which meant the author had sex scenes, and to say I found a new obsession would be an understatement.

I thought a lot about what Serena said, and I’d looked at myself in the mirror, but I never went further than a caress.

Learning my body again was strange because I spent so long hating it, but I was trying.

I was trying to enjoy things and live my life, but he was still in the back of my mind.

When I looked in the mirror, I didn’t see him defiling my body anymore.

There was color coming back to my skin, a rosy pink color kissing my cheeks, and I was finally filling out.

I was still skinny, but I wasn’t sickly looking.

There was still a long way to go until I was finally back to my normal self, but I was finally able to have my life back.

In three weeks, I’d read fourteen books.

I was always a fast reader, and the romance books Lizzy had caught my attention.

There was an odd feeling in my lower belly, and I thought I was turned on. It was a peculiar feeling because I never felt like this before. When I was thirteen, I touched myself once, but that was after sex ed and I was curious, but I couldn’t remember if I brought myself to an orgasm or not.

That was taken from me by Vincenzo. He took all of my firsts, but he didn’t steal my first kiss.

Everything else he took claim, marking me, ruining me.

This got to be my choice. I refused to let Vincenzo live in my head rent free.

I was free, even if it was temporary. Even if he was ready to capture me again and torment me for escaping, even though I was technically kidnapped.

If he got me, I knew I was going to be in for a punishment that made me crave a quick death.

I shook it from my head. This was my time, and I refused to let Vincenzo ruin me with my own thoughts—not right now.

I stripped out of my clothes, looking at my scarred body in the bathroom mirror.

My skin painted a picture of pain and survival, and maybe one day, I could look at them without seeing the memories that followed.

My natural curves were coming back to me and my color.

The pale, ghastly color of my skin was now a light flush.

I was still pale, but if I could tan or spend some time outside on a summer day, I could get my mom’s complexion back.

What if I tried?

I didn’t want to prove to anyone else that I was healed or ready, but because I wanted to.

My body was mine. I wanted it to fully be mine again.

An orgasm should’ve been easy, right? My hand slid up my hips, leaving featherlight strokes on my skin as I dragged my hand to my breasts.

I gently fondled them before pinching my nipples.

A new sensation rippled through me as a soft moan fell from my lips.

Pleasure. One hand trailed softly down my belly, stopping between my legs.

A shaky breath escaped my lips, and I closed my eyes, diving deeper until my middle finger brushed through my pussy lips. I was wet, which was new.

I took a deep breath as I circled my clit with soft strokes.

My mind wandered off as pleasure slowly—very snail paced—built in my core.

My breathing became more rapid, but I was unsure if it was from pleasure or from the flashback prying its way through my subconscious. There should’ve been something more?

His voice flickered in my mind. Your pleasure is mine. You can’t even do this by yourself. What if I was broken? What if this was something I couldn’t do? I didn’t want someone else having control over my body ever again.

There was a vibration coming from the door and a hushed curse as my eyes snapped open to the door that I forgot to lock.

Caterina was fumbling with her phone before she made eye contact with my bare pussy first and then my eyes.

She had a cute flush on her tanned skin, and her nipples were straining against the thin material of her top.

I should have closed my legs or covered up, but I was also frozen. There was also a new desire inside me.

I shouldn’t have liked this, but I slipped my hand between my legs, rubbing my clit. The sensation was new, but I didn’t think it was enough.