Page 62 of Men of Fort Dale: The Complete Series

Oh fuck.

Oh shit.

Goddammit.

“So,” Gabriel began, his mouth flapping uselessly before closing helplessly.

Oscar continued to stare back at his brother, unsure what to say.

From the first time Oscar realized he had zero interest in women, he’d done everything he could to keep it a secret.

His brother and he had grown up in the same neighborhood and known many of the same people, which meant they’d both learned some of the same habits and that if one person in that network knew something, there was a good chance everyone knew.

It had only grown worse after their parents died, and all Oscar had left was his brother.

His greatest fear had been losing his brother, both to death and by any other means.

And now he’d walked in on him naked in bed with Troy.

Gabriel looked up again, letting out a deep sigh. “How long?”

“How long what?” Oscar asked.

“Oscar.”

“I mean it.”

Gabriel frowned, his brother’s cheeks darkening. “How long have you known you were into guys? Because the last I checked, you were dating women.”

Oscar winced. “Well, I was dating women the last time you checked. I just?—”

Gabriel leaned back, opening his hands. “Just, what, not actually dating them, just pretending?”

“Yeah, something like that,” Oscar muttered.

It’s not like he hadn’t tried to be with the girls he’d dated.

Oscar had gone through the motions, taking them out, being intimate with them when he could bring himself to do it, just about anything he could think of to give the illusion he was interested in them.

At the end of the day, though, Oscar had never felt aroused by the sight of a woman’s body, never felt that thrill of pleasure when he felt their skin brush against him.

But the first time he’d ever had a man in his bed, Oscar had realized what he’d been missing.

“So this has been going on for a while then, this isn’t just...some new thing that came up recently,” Gabriel continued.

“No,” Oscar said softly.

Gabriel let out a brittle laugh. “You...that’s what the phone call was about, wasn’t it? You weren’t talking about some girl, were you? You were talking about him.”

Oscar closed his eyes. “Yes.”

“The same one you were involved with years ago. The one you dated for a year and were maybe in love with? So you were involved with this guy, head over heels for him, and you kept that from me? You kept all this from me. Seriously, Oscar?”

His brother’s rising voice, volume and pitch, had Oscar cringing against the back of the chair. What little hope he might have had about this conversation not going straight to hell was dwindling to nothing as his brother continued.

“Fuck’s sake Oscar. I’ve known you your whole life.

I mean, hell, I raised you. And you didn’t think this was something you should have brought up?

I get not talking about what happened to you while you were out in the desert.

I get keeping the blood and death and pain to yourself, but shit, Oscar. ”

“I’m sorry,” Oscar said, not knowing what else to say.

Gabriel’s blazing eyes tipped upward, looking over Oscar’s shoulder, and his words faltered. Oscar turned to follow his brother’s gaze and tensed when he saw Troy standing in the doorway. Troy’s eyes moved slowly between them, his mouth a thin, downturned line.

“Troy?” Oscar asked hoarsely.

Troy’s expression never changed. “I’m going to head out. Let you guys have some privacy to deal with this, okay?”

Oscar frowned, watching Troy as the man turned without another word and headed toward the door.

While he appreciated Troy’s willingness to let Oscar deal with this problem on his own, he hated knowing he wouldn’t have Troy with him when the bombs were done dropping.

He silently watched as Troy slipped his boots on, absently checking his pockets for his keys before opening the door and stepping out.

Before Troy closed the door, he turned and looked back into the apartment, locking eyes with Oscar.

Time seemed to freeze, and Oscar remembered the night he’d left Troy’s apartment six years before.

Back then, there had been rage and pain, but the Troy of the modern-day only looked distraught and utterly hopeless.

Troy’s bright blue eyes were dull and full of despair, disappearing only when Troy closed the door.

“Troy,” Oscar whispered.

Gabriel grunted. “Oscar, we’re talking here.”

Oscar’s heart thumped as he continued staring at the door.

He realized then that his normally understanding brother’s patience was draining fast. Oscar’s stomach clenched as he realized that Troy’s face as he walked away hadn’t shown understanding, not in the true sense.

It had shown utter defeat, the look of a man who had watched his dream nearly come true before finally being torn away at the last second.

It had been Troy’s goodbye.

“Shit,” Oscar hissed, pushing off the chair and making for the door.

“Oscar!” Gabriel called after him.

“Just wait there,” Oscar snapped.

Stiff from sleep and his medication having worn off, his pacing down the steps was stilted and painful.

Grunting as he hit the landing, Oscar made his way outside toward the parking lot.

Looking around frantically, he tried to spot Troy’s blond head as he hobbled toward the sidewalk.

His heart leaped in his chest as he spotted a moving vehicle coming around the corner and heading toward the parking lot's exit.

Without hesitating, Oscar limped his way into the path of the car.

Troy’s car came to a stop before he hit Oscar.

Letting out a breath of relief, Oscar made his way around to stand at the driver’s side window.

Troy looked up at him, a muted version of the distraught expression on his face as he rolled down the window.

“Don’t,” Oscar said hurriedly.

Troy smiled sadly. “It’s okay, Oscar. I’m just...getting out of your hair.”

Oscar leaned onto the car to get closer to Troy and to take some pressure off his hip. “No, you’re not. You’re taking off. I know what a final glance as you go out the door looks like, Troy, I’ve done it.”

Troy snorted softly. “I guess you do.”

“And I don’t want you doing it.”

Troy gestured helplessly. “What am I supposed to do, Oscar? Everything you’ve ever been terrified of just came bursting through the door, and now the secret is...well, it’s out unless you come up with some really good excuse that makes him think that’s not the case.”

Oscar frowned. “You think I’d lie to him?”

“I don’t know what someone scared shitless will do when they’re backed into the corner.”

It was a little too late to take it back since Oscar had already pretty much owned up to everything in front of Gabriel.

The truth was, there was no lie he could tell that would back him up.

Oscar had unconsciously backed himself into the corner.

There was no other direction to go, but forward, the secret was out, and now all Oscar could do was find where the pieces lay.

He had no idea what was waiting for him back in the apartment, but he knew he didn’t want to lose Troy over it.

Oscar shook his head. “He already knows, and because of a conversation I had with him before I came to your apartment, he already knows who you are.”

“Oh.”

“So, there’s no point in hiding it.”

Troy chewed on that for a minute, and Oscar realized in a rush that he took an absurd amount of relief from that fact.

He’d spent so many years keeping his brother from knowing the truth about him.

Now that Gabriel knew, the paranoia and fear were useless.

Sure, he was still half-panicked about how his brother was going to continue to take the news and if there was any hope in not losing the only family he’d ever had, but God, Oscar was free of his former fear.

Oscar leaned in, taking Troy’s hand. “And I don’t want to lose you over this, okay? I’ve lost you once because of my own stupidity, and I’ve got you back. I don’t want to lose you again just because shit hit the fan.”

Troy looked up, eyes widening. “What?”

“You heard me. Come back inside, please. I’m freaking the fuck out about Gabriel, but that doesn’t mean I want you to go away, and certainly not for good. Whatever happens with Gabriel will happen, but after it’s over, I want you there with me, okay?”

Troy blinked. “You do?”

The tension in Oscar’s chest loosened as he nodded. “Please.”

Troy reached up, stroking Oscar’s cheek. “Okay, just let me park again.”

Oscar smiled, backing away from the car and watching. Despite Troy’s assurance, Oscar had almost been afraid Troy might still gun it and get out of there before the shit splattered him too. Relief and hope rose as he watched Troy back up and drive into a spot, sliding out of his car.

Troy looked him over, shaking his head. “You need to take your meds.”

“That can wait,” Oscar murmured, hobbling his way back to the apartment building.

“I can’t believe you ran down here, you could have called me,” Troy said as they mounted the stairs.

Oscar stopped at his door, blinking as he realized Troy was right. In that new light, his sudden, desperate sprint down the stairs seemed even more dramatic.

“Oh, well, shit,” Oscar huffed.

Troy laughed, reaching up to pull Oscar down into a soft kiss. “It’s sweet. A little dumb since you put yourself through more pain than was necessary, but sweet.”

Oscar melted against the kiss, accepting the warm comfort from Troy.

Reaching up, he cupped the back of Troy’s head and pulled him tight against him, taking every bit of pleasure he could.

Troy’s smile was still on his face as Oscar backed away, and he felt stronger, a little more prepared for what was to come.

Taking a deep breath, he opened the door and stepped back into the apartment. Surprisingly, Gabriel had listened to Oscar and stayed on the couch. He looked up as the two of them entered, the frown on his brother’s face deepening.

“Okay, are we good now?” Gabriel asked.

Oscar hobbled into the living room, standing before his brother. He hadn’t realized he had something to say until he stared down at him. When he felt Troy approach from behind, though, Oscar realized he knew exactly what he wanted to say.

“Listen,” Oscar said, cutting his brother off before he could interrupt. “You’re right, I have been keeping this from you. I’ve been keeping it from everyone, okay? And I’m sorry, but I’m gay, and I’ve known it for years.”

Gabriel looked between Oscar and Troy, frowning in confusion. “But?—”

Oscar shook his head. “I never planned to tell anyone, to be honest, and I did everything I could to keep it a secret. But, you just...coming in kind of took that away. I suppose I should be happy about it because now I don’t have to hide it anymore.

I don’t have to be freaked about people finding out or what they’ll do. ..what you’ll do.”

“Me?” Gabriel asked, startled.

“Yes, you. You’re the only family I have, Gabriel.

I love you to death. You’re my brother, father, and a friend, but this.

..I’m not letting this get in the way of my life anymore, okay?

I lost Troy because I pushed him away over this years ago.

I walked away because I was so scared of someone finding out about us that I was willing to leave the best thing I’d ever had behind me. ”

“That’s why?” Gabriel continued, still trying to get a word in edgewise.

Oscar wasn’t deterred, however. “And despite all my love for you and how much I want you to love me and continue to be my brother, I’m not going to back down from this.

I’m in love with Troy, and I’m going to continue to be with him no matter what.

So say what you’re going to say, freak out if you have to, but I’m not going to continue letting my life get torn apart because I’m too scared to speak the truth. ”

And there it was, everything he hadn’t realized he’d been feeling under all the fear and worry.

That fear had dictated his life, and too many choices had been affected by his paranoia.

Gabriel knew the truth, the one great fear Oscar had, but he’d found an even greater fear among it all, losing Troy.

And that wasn’t going to happen, not if he could help it.

So he would face his brother and wait defiantly, albeit with stuttering breath, for Gabriel to say something.

His brother continued to stare at him with a dumbfounded expression.

Oscar wasn’t sure if the man was gearing up for another diatribe or if he was just overwhelmed by the sheer volume of information Oscar had thrown at him.

“Well?” Oscar asked, his nerves getting the best of him.

Gabriel shook his head. “You’re an idiot.”