Page 53 of Men of Fort Dale: The Complete Series

What was he doing?

Troy scoffed, brushing his lips with his fingertips. “Well, didn’t see that coming.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Troy asked.

“Oh, right,” Troy chuckled. “Almost forgot about that.”

“I didn’t,” Oscar whispered.

The night was warm, but the breeze off the ocean was cool. Growing up in the desert, Oscar had never appreciated how beautiful the ocean could be, especially when the moon reflected off its surface. Walking beside him, Troy hummed softly, his eyes flitting between the open water and Oscar.

“So, it was just you and your brother?” Troy asked out of the blue.

Oscar nodded. “After our parents died, he was all I had left. He could have let me go into the system or tried to find some distant relative, but he didn’t. Considering how much shit I put him through, he might have been better off if he’d got rid of me.”

“Troublemaker?”

“A lot more than that.”

“Ohhh, trouble with the law then.”

“It’s a miracle I’m not in juvie.”

Troy smiled. “Nope, just the military.”

Oscar snorted but didn’t deny the man a small smile in return to say he caught the comparison.

It was only the second time he’d seen Troy, and Oscar was a little surprised by how easy it was to talk to him and share things he typically didn’t share with anyone.

And as much as he didn’t want to admit it, Troy made him laugh.

“I’m an only child, so I’d be up a certain creek without a paddle if something had happened to my mom and dad.”

“Oh, only child syndrome,” Oscar said.

“Damn right. I don’t share, and it’s all about me!”

As Oscar shook his head, Troy leaped onto a large piece of driftwood. It was enough to put him level with Oscar, and he smirked.

Oscar stopped in front of him, raising a brow. “Feeling tall?”

“For the first time in my life, it’s an amazing feeling.”

“You’re still short.”

Troy reached out, laying his hands on Oscar’s shoulders. “Yeah, but now I can do this.”

Oscar’s heart leaped into his throat as Troy wasted no time closing the distance between them. Their lips met, and Oscar’s breath caught in his chest. The kiss was slow and with more gentleness than Oscar had ever known in his life, and as Troy pulled away, Oscar thought it didn’t last long enough.

Troy smiled, his eyes catching the moonlight and illuminating his happiness. “Worth it.”

“I always meant to ask,” Oscar began.

Troy cocked his head. “What?”

“How, how did you know?”

“How did I know what?”

Oscar scoffed. “C’mon Troy. That was only the second time we’d hung around one another, and the first time was at some drunken party. I’d never said anything about me...well, you know.”

“Being gay, you can say it,” Troy coaxed.

Oscar scowled. “Not the point, Troy.”

Troy chuckled. “Seven years since the first time I kissed you, and you’re only now asking me that? You had a whole year of us being together to ask.”

“I’m asking now.”

Troy shrugged, taking a step back and averting his gaze. “I guess I just knew. There was something special about you from the first moment you looked at me, and I just had a feeling, I guess.”

“You risked a lot for a feeling.”

“I never said it was a smart move, but my heart told me to go for it.”

Just one more thing Oscar was never going to understand about Troy.

The man seemed perfectly happy, living by the seat of his pants.

If Troy felt something, he just went for it, without so much as a thought about how good an idea it might be.

Oscar couldn’t fathom rushing into a situation simply because it felt right, and even his time running around on the streets had been filled with more forethought and caution than Troy showed.

Oscar had always been the voice of reason, the one who tried to make sure there was a plan to get in and out, and he never rushed into anything.

Yet, he’d just kissed Troy without a second thought.

Worse yet, he didn’t want it to stop there.

Oscar’s fingers itched to reach out and stroke the exposed skin of Troy’s neck tenderly, skin that was already bruising from his altercation with Erik.

Another burning wave of hate and rage filled him as he stared at the darkening skin, his fingers clenching at his sides as he fought to keep himself under control.

For all his pride in being able to control himself, his anger had always been the hardest emotion to conquer.

Well, that and his feelings for Troy.

As if sensing his thoughts, Troy took Oscar’s hand.

For a brief, horrible moment, Oscar watched as Troy reached for his right, only to shift to his left hand.

Worse was the sensation of his right hand’s fingers opening to accept the hold.

While it wasn’t the first time Oscar had felt a sensation that shouldn’t be possible from his missing limb, it was the first time it wasn’t an itch or a sensation of pain.

“We never said goodbye,” Troy said softly.

They’d never said the words, but Oscar had walked away, slamming the door behind him, without so much as a letter or call afterward.

It should have been enough for them both so they could walk away and never look back.

Yet as Troy’s fingers wrapped around his, squeezing, Oscar realized there had been so much left undone, too much left unspoken.

God, his chest ached.

Troy smiled hesitantly, looking down at their joined hands. “Maybe there was a reason for that.”

A bang jerked their heads up and sent Oscar’s heart racing furiously. Troy grunted when Oscar’s fingers gripped his too hard. A call rang out down the hallway, sounding full of concern and alcohol in equal measure. Troy pulled his hand free, turning around as he peered through the curtain.

“Aw shit,” Troy muttered as the voice, which became multiple voices, made their way past them.

“What’s going on?” Oscar asked.

“From the looks of it, a fight and a bad one,” Troy answered as he leaned out of the room to watch the group.

“Why do soldiers off the field get into more trouble than those on it?” Oscar asked.

“You should know the answer to that,” Troy said.

Oscar grunted. “Less to do.”

“And not enough trouble, so they have to make their own,” Troy finished.

Oscar opened his mouth before he heard a sharp voice cut through the din.

From the sound of the owner, they were not too happy about the gaggle of soldiers who’d stumbled through the door, particularly considering they’d apparently brought their alcohol with them.

Oscar winced as he heard one of the drunken men whine, complaining there was nowhere else to put it.

Sure enough, the angry voice replied in kind, taking no shit in the way only a Doc could.

Troy grimaced, glancing back at Oscar. “I should probably go help. Whether it’s Dean I’m helping or the poor dumb drunken bastards who are quickly getting on his bad side, I don’t know yet.”

Oscar snorted. “Dumbasses.”

“Yeah, but they’re our dumbasses when they come through the door. You wouldn’t think someone like little ol’ Dean could strike the fear of God into them, but you’d be wrong.”

Oscar shook his head. “I’ve seen you in action. I think not being afraid of anyone, no matter who they are, is just part of being a medic.”

Troy winked at him. “It’s what you love about me.”

Oscar almost fired back in a way that would have refused to admit Troy was right but not saying he was wrong.

A good deal of their relationship’s banter had been Oscar knowing full well he loved how little of his own shit Troy would put up with while trying to find ways not to own up to it.

What bothered him more, much like the kiss and their brief intimate touch, was how easy it was for him to fall back into old habits.

Troy chuckled, stepping half out of the room. “Go get some rest, Oscar. Everything will feel better in the morning. We can talk later.”

Troy’s prediction had turned out not to be in the slightest bit accurate.

Oscar woke up the following morning, his mind lurching into full-blown confusion and anxiety before he had the chance to think. Sitting up in bed, he brought his left hand to his chest, feeling the constriction of stress and worry rise.

“Shit, Troy,” he muttered, the man’s face flashing into his head.

God, he’d kissed him again. He’d reached out, taken hold of him, and drawn him in close until their lips met like they had so many times years before.

Despite six years having passed, nothing had changed about the feel of Troy’s lips against his.

Troy had grown an extra inch or two, maybe put on a little more muscle, but kissing him the night before had been a blast from the past.

Letting out a deep sigh, Oscar pushed out of bed and headed for the shower.

During months without his arm, he’d learned how to go about his morning routine without much struggle, though his hip was smarting again after walking around all night.

He knocked back a couple of pain pills before brushing his teeth, hoping they’d take the edge off for the rest of the day.

His head still felt stuffed to the gills as he walked across the base and into the office.

Christian was already hard at work, typing away at his computer and chatting with someone on the phone.

Oscar took his seat, unlocking his computer and trying to find something to lose himself in to distract him from his thoughts.

“You in there?” came Christian’s voice after several minutes, jerking Oscar from his thoughts.

He looked up, bewildered. “Huh?”

Christian snorted. “Been trying to get your attention for a bit. You okay?”

Oscar nodded. “Just got a lot on my mind, is all. I’m okay.”

“You should try getting more sleep. You look like hell,” Christian noted.

“Thanks.”

Christian chuckled. “Anytime. You think you’ll be able to focus for a bit?”

Oscar looked at his screen as though to protest and realized he was looking at chaos.

He’d been absentmindedly opening emails and memos but hadn’t done more than look over them mindlessly.

His brain had been running over the past twenty-four hours, so much that he’d done virtually nothing for the past half hour.

Oscar winced. “Yeah, sorry. You got something specific for me?”

“How do you feel about sorting through some old crap and getting rid of what we don’t need in the system anymore?”

“That would be fine if I had any idea what should stay and what shouldn’t,” Oscar admitted.

“And that’s why you have me here,” Christian said with a grin.

The other man hopped up, quickly leading Oscar to where he needed to go. Oscar was thankful to have something, anything at all, to distract him from his thoughts. To pull him away from the desire to find Troy after his shift was over, to continue what he’d started the night before.

Although he didn’t need his inability to focus on his job as an example of why he needed to stay as far from Troy as possible, it certainly helped.

His time with Troy had been wonderful, life-altering, and had changed everything Oscar once believed about himself and about love.

It was the first functional relationship Oscar had ever had with someone who wasn’t his brother, and it was far too easy to love Troy.

But loving him meant putting himself and his private life at risk.

Troy lived out in the open, free and clear of worry or fear, but that wasn’t Oscar’s life.

It was too easy to become enamored by Troy and to let the man draw him into his way of living.

It probably shouldn’t have taken the kiss, but Oscar realized then just how badly he wanted the other man.

Oscar closed his eyes, shaking his head slowly to jostle the thoughts free from his brain. No, they couldn’t revisit the past. They couldn’t fall into one another and get swept away. They were better off the way they were.