Page 36 of Men of Fort Dale: The Complete Series

Bending over, he checked the blankets wrapped around Sean.

They were as snug as they’d been the last time he checked, but it helped to ease the jitteriness bouncing around inside him as he waited.

Between the fire and the blankets, he knew there wasn’t much more he could do to keep Sean warm.

They’d all taken turns huddling close to him, using their bodies as an extra source of warmth, but Sean had stayed out cold for hours.

“What are we going to do if he doesn't wake up?” Nick asked nervously.

“But what if he doesn’t?”

Seeing Sean so vulnerable had done something to unhinge Nick, and it was a little unnerving to watch.

For the first time since he’d met Nick, there was something bright and attentive in the man’s eyes, though not altogether pleasant.

It reminded him of the look some soldiers got when they were back stateside, home and safe, but their minds still wandered back to a battlefield they had never quite left behind.

“Nick,” Aidan began, leveling his gaze with Nick’s.

“Yeah?”

Aidan kept eye contact. “We found him, okay? We found him before it was too late, and he’s only slightly banged up. He’s too damn stubborn for anything to happen to him. He just needs to rest now that he’s safe and warm.”

Some of the erratic energy in Nick’s eyes faded, and he nodded. “Yeah, okay.”

It wasn’t a permanent solution, but it was better than the frantic energy Aidan had seen before.

Matt was keeping watch near the mouth of the cave they’d wandered into before finding Sean huddled against a wall, muttering to himself.

Aidan had been so sure where Sean had fallen, but he’d been less sure what state the man would be in when they’d found him.

The others seemed content to let Aidan watch over Sean while busying themselves with something else.

That was, except for Nick.

Aidan smiled at him. “Why don’t you go see if Matt needs anything?”

“Should be checking on Ricardo. He’s been out there for a bit.”

Aidan shook his head. “Ricardo is used to this kind of stuff, he knows what he’s doing. Trust him.”

Nick gave another nod. “I guess.”

“I’m sure he’ll be fine. But just in case, you should go check on Matt at the cave entrance. Make sure he hasn’t heard anything or fallen asleep.”

Nick pushed himself up. “He better not have. Falling asleep at bad times is my thing.”

Aidan shook his head with a light chuckle, watching as Nick strolled around the corner and out of sight.

With a slow sigh, Aidan let his shoulders sag as he heard Nick’s footsteps fade.

They were deep enough underground that hearing the conversation between the two men was impossible, but Aidan knew it would be better if Nick were around Matt for a bit.

“You got them figured out.”

The soft voice jerked Aidan from his thoughts and down to Sean, who was staring up at him. His green eyes caught the flickering light of the nearby fire, and a slight smirk was drawn across his features as he lay bundled up in the blankets.

“Holy shit,” Aidan sputtered, pushing away from Sean in surprise.

Sean winced. “Ow.”

Aidan cringed, realizing he’d pushed against Sean’s bruised side. “Oh, shit. I’m sorry.”

“I was going to compliment you on your bedside manner, but I’m glad I didn’t,” Sean said with a pained expression.

Aidan snorted. “You were going to compliment me?”

“I think anyone who manages to wrangle this team together and find me in the middle of nowhere deserves a compliment or two,” Sean said.

Aidan shook his head, not thinking it was much of an accomplishment. It had been hard to keep the three other members of their team from diving over the side of the cliff to find Sean immediately. It had taken all his persuasive abilities and a little manipulation to keep them in line.

“Naw, just had to get through to Ricardo, and with his help, we got Matt and Nick in line too. I already had a good idea where you’d fallen, even with the snowstorm. Truth be told, I wasn’t sure whether we’d find you...or your body.”

“That’s a pleasant thought.”

“Yeah, everyone else was thinking the same. Though Nick was?—”

Sean’s amused expression softened. “He was there.”

“We were all there, Sean,” Aidan said with a snort.

Sean shook his head. “No. I mean when Clint died. Matt and Ricardo were covering our flanks, so they weren’t there when Clint got hit. No one but me and Nick. I saw Clint after he was hit, laying there and...I think Nick saw the hit happen, but he’s never said.”

Aidan frowned. “Jesus, why?”

“Why didn’t he say anything? I guess some things are too hard to say out loud.”

Aidan snorted softly, rubbing his wrist unconsciously. “I can understand that a bit.”

“I think you understand it a lot.”

Aidan looked up, brow creasing. “Not as much as you guys. I’ve never lost a teammate. Hell, I’ve never had a team before now. So I can’t really say I’ve gone through the shit you guys have.”

“You grew up in the system. That can be bad enough.”

Aidan blinked. “Umm.”

“Got into the military the minute you could and always worked where you had to. Never stayed in one place for too long, never really had a team to be dedicated to.”

“Sean.”

“Sounds kind of lonely to me.”

“Where did you hear all this?”

Sean looked up at him, eyes soft. “Tell me about your last assignment.”

Aidan’s chest tightened, and he pushed away from the ground.

Whatever was happening, he didn’t want any part of it.

Sean was...yes, he was probably rattled from his near-death experience on top of whatever horror and pain he had suffered in the past. But this was the sort of thing someone else should deal with, someone better suited for it, like, say, Ricardo.

Anyone else. But not him.

“I should let the others know you’re okay,” Aidan said hastily as he made to get to his feet.

“I’ve been making you suffer for the sins of someone else,” Sean said, stopping Aidan cold.

Aidan looked away. “Yours?”

“I...don’t know if they’re mine or not. I still can’t decide if it’s my fault that Clint is dead. But I know that if it’s mine or someone else’s, you’re the one who’s got the worst of it. The rest of the team have got it too, but you, being the new guy, Clint’s...replacement, got it the worst.”

Aidan swallowed hard, fighting to keep himself in check. “What...what’s your point?”

“Whose sins have I been paying for?”

The question was said so softly that Aidan might not have heard it if the wind had been blowing any harder above them. But he had, and it sucked the breath from his lungs.

Aidan’s shoulders sagged, and he looked down at his feet. “You think that’s what’s been happening?”

“It’s hard to say for sure. You’re not exactly open about what happened to you before, and maybe...okay, it’s definitely my fault. But the more I think about it, the more I realize maybe I’m not the only one with a chip on my shoulder. I’m not the only one who’s still mad about something.”

Aidan looked up, unable to help his smile. “You hit your head pretty hard on the way down, huh?”

Sean smiled, looking kinder and warmer than he’d ever done before. The man Aidan thought he might have glimpsed before was rising to the surface, and now that he was there, Aidan wasn’t quite sure what he was supposed to do with him.

Aidan sighed, sitting back. “It’s a stupid story with a stupid ending.”

“I know I haven’t done a whole lot to earn it, but I want to hear it.”

It was stupid. He shouldn’t even be tempted to tell Sean, of all people, the story.

But the more he thought back, the more he realized so much of what he’d seen in Sean had been desperation.

Desperation to get Aidan out, desperation to refuse to accept Aidan, to drive him away, to keep him at arm’s length.

Had Sean been running from something this whole time?

Something that had finally caught up with him?

Aidan looked down at his hands. “He was...the commander of the last base I was stationed at.”

“A...boyfriend?” Sean guessed.

Aidan chuckled. “No, but he sure wished he was, I can tell you that. Don’t get me wrong, Jason was...attractive. Actually, he looked a lot like you.”

Sean frowned, managing to wriggle an arm free. “I’m going to guess that’s not going to be a compliment by the time this story is done.”

Aidan shrugged. “It's not a compliment or an insult. You’re both good-looking; hell, I’d even call you hot.”

Sean snorted. “Can’t remember the last time someone sober called me hot.”

Aidan looked up, smirking. “Maybe I’m not all that sober.”

Sean rolled his eyes. “Thank you for making me wonder if some drunk asshole has been leading my team this whole time.”

It could have almost been the Sean Aidan would have sworn he was used to, but the tone didn’t quite match the harshness of his words.

There was a playful sarcasm that had never been there before.

Where Sean might have grown annoyed with him, mad at his refusal to.

..do what he wanted, there was acceptance, an ability to roll with Aidan’s wit, and a slight irreverence.

And God, if that didn’t make him more likely to spill his story.

“But even at your worst with me, you were never like him,” Aidan continued.

Sean snorted softly, finally pulling his eyes away from Aidan. “I’ve been kind of a dick, so I find that hard to believe.”

“You pushed me hard, harder than you should have. You wanted me out and gone, and sometimes you were unfair. But you didn’t use your position unfairly. You didn’t try to force me to do something I didn’t want to do.”

Sean looked up, eyes widening. “Did he?—”

Aidan jerked his head up, shaking it. “No. He tried pushing me, ‘negotiating’ he called it sometimes, but he never...succeeded in pushing it physically.”

“But he tried.”

“Yes.”

The advances had been easy to fend off, swerve around, and avoid.

Hell, it was just one more game, albeit with more at stake than Aidan would have liked.

Jason had wanted him and was willing to pull out all the stops to have him.

At first, Aidan had taken it in his stride, until months later, when the commander had cornered him, pressing against him, and tried to take what wasn’t his.

Aidan snorted. “Let’s just say, when I made it very clear he wasn’t getting what he wanted, things went downhill for me.”

“That’s why you were pushed out and forced onto a team.”

“And why General Winter wasn’t so sure that I might be a good fit for your team.”

Sean frowned. “What?”

“I...don’t know how much General Winter knows about what happened, but he knows enough to know something went seriously wrong. He was afraid that being put on your team would be too much for me. Something tells me the man knows more than he lets on but doesn’t show it.”

Sean snorted. “I’ve heard stuff like that before.”

Aidan shrugged. “So there it is. Some guy tried to ruin my life because I wouldn’t sleep with him, and you were the one who paid for it.”

“Considering you just saved my life, I don’t think I’m paying for it too much.”

“To be fair, you saved mine first,” Aidan pointed out.

Sean reached out, resting a hand on Aidan’s knee. “Take the compliment, Sergeant, or I’ll kick your ass when I can stand.”

Aidan reached down before he could question it.

Sean’s fingers were warm, both a relief and a comfort as he curled his grip around his team leader’s and gave a squeeze.

Looking up into Sean’s bright green eyes, he felt a knot in his chest loosen, freeing him to say something that was both innocent and not at the same time.

“Yes, Staff Sergeant.”