Page 142 of Men of Fort Dale: The Complete Series

“It was only missing a few steps before practically being that.”

Matt started fixing the string of lights after evaluating their proper position. “You would never do anything to me against my will. And you would never do anything to hurt me.”

“And yet?—”

“You didn’t hurt me, Nick, or upset me. You upset yourself more than anything.”

Nick frowned. “You didn’t exactly look thrilled.”

Matt laughed merrily. “You took me off-guard. That’s not the same thing as doing something wrong.”

Nick glared at his cup of coffee. “You make it sound like what I did was okay.”

There was a pause. “Maybe it was.”

Nick’s head snapped up so quickly he heard a crack in his neck. “What?”

Matt was staring thoughtfully at the mantelpiece, eyes drifting to the nearby box of decorations. “We should have brought our stockings. Damn it, I didn’t think about it.”

Nick hesitated, then let out a heavy sigh. “Check my luggage.”

Matt turned, eyes wide. “What?”

Nick rolled his eyes. “Like I was going to forget the custom-made stockings you lost your mind over a few years ago. You’re not the only one who can plan, you know.”

Matt beamed, hopping away from the fireplace and toward the hallway. He skidded to a stop beside Nick, looking up at him with his sparkling gaze. Gently, he set his hand on Nick’s hip and squeezed.

“I’m saying that maybe this doesn’t have to be awkward or weird. Maybe I’ve been thinking about that kiss more than you think. Or at least, in a way you wouldn’t think I would, I don’t know.”

And then he was gone.

Nick’s mouth dried as he stared at where Matt had been standing only seconds before.

Distantly, he could hear the thumps overhead, followed by an overjoyed shout as Matt found what he was looking for.

Matt came tearing back into view, holding the stockings.

Each of them had their names sewn into the cuff, Nick’s in regal purple and Matt’s in a bright blue, their favorite colors.

Along the rest of the stocking were symbols and scenes from their lives.

Corn, mountains, his rank at the time, and a few other odds and ends for Nick’s.

Cacti, a stitched-together heart, the sun, and a few electronics on Matt’s.

“I love that you had these made,” Matt proclaimed as he all but skipped to the fireplace.

“Considering the look on your face when you opened them up, how could I not?” Nick asked.

Matt paused before hanging the first one, looking over his shoulder. There was a thoughtful expression on his face, lingering before he turned his attention back to the stockings.

“You love me,” Matt said simply.

“Of course I do.”

“And I love you.”

“I sure hope so.”

“That was a statement of fact, Nick.”

“Then, yes.”

It was the easiest thing in the world for Nick, loving Matt. Here was a man who had been at his side through so many things and accepted everything about him. How could he not love him? How could he not be in love with him?

Matt hung the second stocking, staring forward. “It wasn’t a bad kiss.”

Nick’s eyes widened. “Uh, what?”

When Matt turned around, he was smiling, which wasn’t all that unusual. What was strange, what sucked the breath from Nick’s lungs, was the shyness of it.

Matt shrugged. “I’ve been thinking about it since you did it.

At first, I was just a little surprised, okay, a lot surprised.

But there was a moment last night when I just..

.I don’t know, I stopped being just surprised.

And I started thinking about what it felt like, started obsessing over how it felt. ”

Nick could only stare, unable to believe what he was hearing. “I...see.”

“And I started thinking a little more. If that surprise kiss was good, then what about the rest? Being with you feels good, always has. I straight-up big-spooned you last night, and it was the most natural, wonderful thing ever. I realized I didn’t care that you practically drooled over me when we woke up this morning. ”

Nick choked on his next sip of coffee. “What?”

Matt looked up, grinning sheepishly. “You did. And then you made this noise .”

“Noise,” Nick repeated dully, unsure what to say.

Matt raised one shoulder and let it drop. “I don’t know, man, it was a noise, a moan? A groan? I don’t know. And it got me thinking what you would normally be doing to make that sound. And the next thing I knew, I was thinking about that in...detail.”

Nick had to set the coffee on the table before he dropped the cup. “You thought about that in the span of...five seconds?”

Matt smirked. “Not everyone has to think everything to death, you know.”

“Thanks.”

“I’m just saying, I thought about it. Still thinking about it.”

“About my...groan.”

Matt stepped closer, stopping half a foot from him. “Among other things, but yeah, that was one thing.”

“What else?” Nick asked hoarsely.

Matt chewed his bottom lip, catching Nick’s attention. “Can I ask you something?”

Nick nodded slowly. “Anything.”

Matt looked up, eyes wide and wondering. “Do it again?”

“Groan?” Nick asked stupidly.

Matt reached out, hands stopping halfway between them. “Kiss me.”

The Christmas music became a distant hum in the background, and Nick felt his stomach twist. “What?”

Matt took a deep breath. “Kiss me again. But this time, don’t do it like you have to be quick, like you have to just, get it out. Kiss me like you mean it.”

“Why?” Nick whispered.

“Because I want you to,” Matt answered simply.

Because, of course, it was simple. Because, of course, that’s just how it was for him.

Maybe it could mean more, maybe it wouldn’t.

Ultimately, what mattered wasn’t that Nick was being asked to do the one thing he’d wanted to do for so long.

What mattered was that Matt was asking him.

Not to indulge Nick, not for curiosity, because Matt would never be that cruel, but because he wanted to.

For a moment, he thought he wouldn’t be able to.

After all the years of desire and wishing, Nick faltered.

To do it in a moment of panic and intense desire was one thing, but to try it when Matt was standing before him, willing it to happen?

It felt as though the entire world had come crashing onto his shoulders, demanding what he so sorely wished he could give.

Make or break, this was the moment, or at least it felt like it.

Matt reached out, taking his hand gently and squeezing it. “It’s just me, Nick. Just you and me.”

A shudder ran through Nick and he knew it was all the motivation he was going to get.

He reached out with his other hand, grasping Matt’s face.

The stubble from the night before was still there, thicker and less prickly.

For a moment, he savored the touch of Matt’s skin against his, drinking in the sensation of having him there with him.

Matt leaned into the touch with practiced ease despite how strange it should have been. Nick leaned forward, pulling Matt toward him. There was only a moment of hesitation before their lips touched, as part of him reared back, afraid of what was to come.

And then he pushed it away and gave them both what they wanted.

At first, all he could think was that he was kissing Matt, not the friendly peck on the forehead or cheek, and not the hasty, disastrous kiss of the night before, but a real kiss.

There was the press of lips against his, neither moving as they stood there, locked in a singular moment of pure experience.