Page 57 of Men of Fort Dale: The Complete Series

Troy chuckled. “I’ve got a lot of nervous energy.”

Troy glanced at him as he rounded a corner smoothly. “How’s the hip?”

“Hurts like it normally does.”

He grimaced. “Fine, it’s a good day today. Sometimes it hurts like a motherfucker, and I can barely get out of bed, and other days it’s just annoying. Today is just an annoying day.”

“Can I ask about the arm?”

“You can, but there’s really not much to say about something that isn’t there.”

Troy chuckled, shaking his head. “The left looks good, though. I can see you’ve been taking care of it.”

“It’s the only one I’ve got left. Just because I’m half of who I was doesn’t mean I can let the rest of it go,” Oscar said, turning his eyes toward the window beside him.

What the hell was it about Troy that made Oscar forget to keep his mouth shut?

There was no need to burden anyone with his problems, especially when there was nothing anyone could do.

The military had put him through the normal battery of psychological tests and therapy, and while he’d been cleared, it had been done grudgingly.

“You still look good to me,” Troy said after a long pause.

Oscar snapped his head around to glare. “Really, Troy? C’mon.”

Troy waited until he came to a complete stop before leveling his gaze with Oscar’s and holding it. “Yeah, really.”

Oscar’s stomach fluttered at the warm expression on his face. “Don’t placate me, Troy. I know what I am.”

Troy just shook his head. “When have you ever known me to placate you about anything? I’ll save you the trouble of answering because the answer is never.”

Oscar shook his head. “You never know how to let me get the last word.”

Troy gestured to the apartment building.

“I’ll let you out of the car without harassment, but I will add one tidbit.

If you think for one moment that you getting hurt, having a bad hip, and one arm makes you any less of a man, especially in my eyes, you better get your head on straight, and fast. There’s nothing about you I don’t want, Oscar, so yeah, have a good night. ”

Oscar wasn’t sure what to say, but his heart pounded as he slid out of the car.

It’s not like people didn’t still look at him with interest, and sometimes even expressed it.

Those same people couldn’t keep their eyes off his missing arm when they noticed, or like the man earlier tonight, couldn’t help but bring it up in conversation.

For Troy, it seemed to be nothing more than something to check on now and again while still keeping his eyes resolutely on Oscar.

Making his way up the stairs, Oscar let himself into his apartment and closed the door with a relieved sigh. Yet even though he was relieved to be away from the confusion of his mind in Troy’s presence, he had to resist the urge to go back downstairs and hop into Troy’s car again.

“Fuck,” Oscar muttered, rubbing his forehead.

Troy had been right about one thing, he definitely needed to figure out where his head was at.

Oscar felt like he’d just gotten to sleep when he was jarred awake by his phone ringing. Groaning, he rolled onto his side, swiping at the bedside table to try and find the noisy thing. Squinting at the display, he huffed as he saw the time and his brother’s name on the screen.

“What the fuck, Gabe? It’s seven in the morning,” Oscar growled into the receiver.

Gabriel chuckled. “Since when has that ever stopped you from getting up at five? You always did when you were here.”

“Because I had nothing better to do at night than sleep. Fuck, it’s my day off,” Oscar complained as he flopped back onto his bed.

“And now you get to spend the morning talking to your big brother, aren’t you lucky?”

“I don’t know if I’d call that good luck.”

“You want me to let you go? You can call me back later.”

Oscar huffed, pushing upright with a shake of his head. “No, I’m up now. No going back to sleep for me.”

He’d never been good at rolling over and going back to sleep once he’d woken up.

Honestly, the only times he’d managed was when he was more tired than he’d ever been or curled up in bed with Troy.

Oscar found it all too easy to wrap around the smaller man in the early hours and drift back into a peaceful sleep.

“You can at least call me back when you’re more alert,” Gabriel chuckled.

“I’m awake,” Oscar shot back as he slid off the bed.

“So, I should expect you to keep zoning out then?”

“Oh, God, maybe you should call me back. Don’t abuse me when I just woke up.”

“This isn’t abuse, it’s love.”

“With love like this, who needs hate?” Oscar grumbled as he shambled into the kitchen.

“A shame you’re not a coffee drinker. You could be angrily staring at the drip machine and willing it to brew faster,” Gabriel said.

Oscar chose a bottle of water from the fridge instead. “So what’s up? Why are you calling me at this hour?”

“Well, you’re normally pretty good about calling me every few days when you’re in the States. Since you’re here for who knows how long, I noticed it’s been well over a week, almost two since we last spoke.”

Oscar did a quick calculation in his head and winced. “I guess it has been a while, hasn’t it? Sorry, I’ve just been?—”

“Busy?”

“Something like that.”

“Well, you were bitching that not enough happened around there. I guess you got your wish.”

Oscar flopped down into a kitchen chair, frowning. “I don’t know if this is what I was wishing for, but I certainly got something.”

“I probably know the answer, but do you want to tell me what’s on your mind?”

Oscar sighed. “Not really, no.”

“You sound a lot more tired than waking up early should sound. You sure you don’t want to lay it on me? I’ve got all morning.”

Oscar frowned. “Don’t you have actual patients to be all therapisty on?”

“Not till the afternoon. Had a morning one, but she bailed because her mother got into a car accident this morning.”

“Sounds like a good reason to cancel.”

“It would be if she could keep her lies straight.”

“Lies?”

Gabriel laughed. “Shelly is a chronic liar. Her mother has been in a couple of ‘accidents’ and even got mugged once, according to Shelly. She forgets that I know her mother passed away when Shelly was in her teens, and her father never remarried.”

“And...you didn’t call her on it?” Oscar asked.

“What, over the phone? That’s a good way to get her to cancel next time too. No, she and I will talk about it when she comes in, don’t worry. I’m more worried about you.”

“You don’t have to,” Oscar said.

“So you’ve said since you were thirteen. You said it when the cops brought you home at fourteen and again a few months later. And then again, when you came home from the desert, missing an arm and with shrapnel in your hip. Your idea of what I should and shouldn’t worry about isn’t very reliable.”

Oscar frowned at the phone. “Shit, when you lay it out like that, I sound like a fucking disaster.”

“Eh, in my line of work, everyone’s a disaster.”

“That’s...inspiring.”

Gabriel laughed. “Problem is, most people don’t realize they’re not as big a disaster as they think. Takes someone like me to pick through things, show them where they’re messing up, and where they just need to let it go. We’re all a mess, Oscar. Some people are just better at cleaning it up.”

“That’s kind of better, I think.”

“Realistic, which is important in this line of work.”

Oscar snorted. “Ah, by the way, did you get my package?”

“Yes, yes, I got the house key. I don’t know what good that’s going to do, though. We’re three states away. It’s not like I can just pop in for a visit.”

“Eh, old habits die hard. I feel better with you having a key, just in case.”

“I’ll keep that in mind if I ever decide to pop in for a surprise visit.”

“Oh, boy, I look forward to it.”

Gabriel sighed. “So, are you going to tell me what’s going on, Oscar? Is it the new position?”

Oscar grimaced. “When I finally get the position, that is. Who the hell knows when that will be since, apparently, the spot was still occupied when I showed up.”

“Then why bring you over?”

“Apparently, to make me sit at the front desk outside the General’s office and do secretarial work all day and pretend it’s going to give me hands-on experience for the job I’m ‘supposed’ to be doing soon.”

“I smell drama.”

“Drama that doesn’t involve me, thank fuck.”

“Okay, so it sounds like you’ve got a handle on the work stuff,” Gabriel continued a faint hint of a question in his voice.

Oscar pinched his brow and sighed. “I ran into someone from my past.”

“Someone?”

“Someone I was...involved with.”

Gabriel gave a soft sound of understanding. “So, an old flame popped her head up then.”

Oscar grimaced, not wanting to spill the truth to his brother any more than he had in the past, but not liking the idea of going along with Troy being a woman. But if the choice was between letting his brother continue the falsehood unknowingly or outing himself, he would choose the former.

“That’s more or less what happened. Haven’t seen each other or talked in six years. Then lo and behold, we both end up on the same goddamn base,” Oscar complained.

“That’s some...interesting luck.”

“Yeah, and even more lucky because we seem to be running into one another all the time.”

Gabriel went quiet before asking, “So, why did things end between you and this unnamed flame?”

Oscar sighed. “I ended it.”

“Ah...and why was that?”

Oscar thought long and hard. The truth was, he’d become so terrified that he and Troy would be found out he’d taken the opportunity his deployment offered as a way out.

“It’s...complicated.”

“It’s complicated, or you don’t want to tell me the truth?”

Oscar clenched his jaw. “Okay, maybe I ended it for a reason.”

“Well, your ability to state the obvious is still intact, I see. Okay, if you’re not going to tell me the reason, maybe you can tell me if it was a good one or not?”

Now, there lay the million-dollar question. “I...don’t know.”

Gabriel made another soft noise. “So, let me see if I understand what little information you’ve given me.

You and this girl were a thing once upon a time, and you.

..had feelings for her, maybe even loved her.

Then you ended the relationship for reasons you’ve kept to yourself, and you don’t sound so sure it was for the right reasons.

Now you’ve run into them again, and based on the struggle you’re going through, the flame has reignited. ”

“I...maybe?”

“Right, you’re struggling because seeing them again after a messy breakup is just that awkward.”

Oscar scowled. “Are therapists supposed to be sarcastic?”

“Good thing I’m being your brother and not a therapist, huh? Were you in love?”

“What me and…” Oscar began, clamping his lips over the sound of Troy’s name.

“Yes, you and this flame of yours,” Gabriel said in amusement.

Oscar frowned, thinking back to their relationship, and nodded.

The storm hit hard and fast, bending the tops of the trees as the wind howled, splattering the sliding glass door to Troy’s apartment with rain. Oscar was perfectly happy to remain locked indoors, where he could stay dry and warm. Troy, however, had other ideas.

Troy pressed his face against the glass. “Wow, it looks so awesome out there.”

“Yes, very awesome,” Oscar said with a smirk.

Troy stuck his tongue out at him. “You know, like creating awe. Awesome.”

“Sorry, but I didn’t get no fancy edumacation,” Oscar said with a thick accent.

“Only because you skipped school, you jackass.”

Oscar frowned as he watched Troy’s hand go to the door handle. “What are you doing?”

Troy opened the door, letting in a gale of wind and a torrent of water. “I’m going out in the storm.”

Oscar stood up. “You’re nuts. It’s practically a hurricane out there.”

Troy winked at him. “I know, right?”

Lightning split the sky as Troy stepped out, and a huge crack of thunder tore through the sound of the wind and rain.

Troy walked from the edge of the concrete slab that made up his porch and down onto the grass.

Oscar followed him to the door, wincing as his face was splattered with the rain blowing so hard it felt like little pinpricks.

“Troy! C’mon, this isn’t a good idea!” Oscar bellowed over the wind.

Whether Troy heard him or not, he didn’t look back.

To Oscar’s annoyance, he stepped into the middle of the grass and held his arms out as though about to take flight.

The wind whipped through his rain-soaked clothes.

His face was turned toward the sky as though basking in the rays of the warm sun.

His expression was peaceful, with the corners of his mouth turned up to show a happiness Oscar couldn’t understand.

The lightning flashed again, so close it cast Troy in a brilliant light that momentarily washed out his hair and skin.

When the crack of thunder came, close enough for Oscar to feel as well as hear, Troy’s eyes finally opened.

And his face broke into the most beautiful smile of reverence and happiness.

Oscar’s complaints died in his throat as he stood watching Troy. Witnessing the man, who had somehow slipped beneath all Oscar’s barriers and traps, stand before the might of a storm as though he belonged there.

Oscar felt his heart swell.

“Yeah, yeah, we were,” Oscar whispered.

“And are you now?”

Oscar gave a sad smile. “I think...that’s one of the questions I’m unsure how to answer.”

“I bet if you answer it, you’ll get the answer to all the other ones too.”

“And that’ll solve all my problems, huh?”

“Don’t be an ass. Look, I’ll be honest with you, Oscar, you’re probably going to be at the base for however long you stay in the military, or you’ll be there for a while anyway. So, to me, there’s not much in your way of getting together with this girl except for you. Does she want to be with you?”

“God, save me, yes, and I don’t know why,” Oscar said.

Gabriel grunted. “So, that’s it.”

Oscar looked around in bewilderment. “What?”

“Look, Oscar, you need to be willing to love, but you also have to be willing to accept love. Speaking as someone who knows you pretty well, you’re not so great at doing that. Figure out where your heart is, stop being an idiot, and do what’s right once you figure it out.”

Oscar’s mind whirled, now fully awake and dragging up images from the past. Troy’s face bubbled up in his mind, and Oscar’s heart squeezed.

“And when you do? Go talk to them.”

“I will,” Oscar promised.