Page 54 of Men of Fort Dale: The Complete Series

“Are you going to glare at the computer all day or actually do something with it?” Dean asked from behind him.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

“What, only a penny? That’s kind of cheap, don’t you think?”

“Your thoughts are a dime a dozen, which seems fair.”

Troy frowned. “I’m pretty sure you’re mixing your phrases and also just insulted me worse than before.”

“Hm, maybe.”

Troy turned to face his friend with a smirk. “Sounds like I’m not the only one who’s a little out of it.”

Dean rolled his eyes, never pulling his attention from his tablet. “Don’t try to turn the tables on me. You’re the one over there zoning out over paperwork.”

Troy groaned. “You know I hate paperwork.”

“Yep, but it’s gotta be done.”

Troy stared at the screen before finally muttering, “He’s avoiding me.”

“Who’s avoiding you?” Dean asked.

“Oscar.”

It had been days since he’d seen the man, let alone spoken to him. Troy hadn’t exactly gone out of his way to hunt Oscar down and try to get answers out of him. After the quick and furtive kiss they shared, Troy was left wondering what he should do.

On the one hand, he most certainly wanted to see where that kiss was supposed to go or what it meant.

He still felt a little dizzy at the thought of Oscar kissing him so suddenly, and with all the desperation and heartfelt intent Troy remembered fondly from when they’d been dating.

On the other hand, he wasn’t so sure he wanted to know the answer, especially now Oscar looked like he was trying to keep his distance.

“So, I take it things haven’t been going well since you guys were here the other day,” Dean said.

Troy’s shoulders sagged. “No. He kissed me that night, Dean.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, one minute, we were arguing about stupid shit, and the next minute he was kissing me.”

“Would that stupid shit have anything to do with the oh-so-lovely marks around your neck?”

Troy cringed. “Maybe.”

The last thing he wanted was Dean to start worrying about him too.

Admittedly, Troy knew he should have been more cautious walking the streets.

There was no good excuse for Erik being able to sneak up on him like that.

Troy should have seen him coming from a mile away, and Oscar was right that he needed to be more careful.

Troy wasn’t so sure he needed to change his habits all that much, as there wasn’t much reason to, but he could certainly afford to be more watchful.

He still couldn’t believe Erik attacked him like that.

The two of them had met one night a month ago, and Troy honestly believed they understood what they were doing.

With the sole exception of Oscar, Troy had never been one to settle down with one person.

He liked the thrill of being with someone new, of learning how they touched, how they held, kissed, fucked.

The only person who could instill that same extreme passion and need in Troy was Oscar, apparently still, if that kiss were any indication.

Troy was jerked out of his thoughts as Dean rolled forward in his chair to lean into his vision. “Why don’t you do us both a favor and go talk to him?”

Troy wrinkled his nose. “And say what?”

“You could start with, ‘Why aren’t you talking to me?’”

“And what if he tells me to fuck off?”

“Then you know for sure.”

Troy knotted his fingers together nervously.

Knowing would certainly be better than this strange purgatory he’d been stuck in.

Troy would swear he could still feel Oscar’s lips against his and the press of his hand on his shoulder.

It had dragged out the last remnants of emotion he had for Oscar, and Troy could feel them bubbling beneath the surface, just waiting for an excuse to burst out.

Dean smiled, patting his side. “Just go. General Winter’s office hours will be up soon, and you can probably catch him on his way home.”

“Oh, boy, I get to ambush him. That’s sure to make him talk to me.”

“Do you have any other options?”

Troy frowned, no, he didn’t.

“Dammit,” he muttered, pushing away from the desk.

He didn’t feel any better about the plan.

He felt like he was lurking outside the building.

It wasn’t like anyone was going to give him crap for hanging around outside.

Generally speaking, people on the base assumed you were where you were supposed to be and didn’t question it, well, with the exception of a few hard-ass, nosy sergeants.

The wait also had the nasty side-effect of leaving him to stew in his own thoughts as he waited on the bench outside.

A million scenarios ran through his head as he waited impatiently, and not many ended well.

It had been six years since the two of them had seen one another, had been with one another.

So much about them could have changed. Did Troy really want to risk another dose of heartache just because of a few good memories?

Troy flopped bonelessly onto his bed, pushing his phone away so he could stare at the wall instead.

He hated arguing with his father, especially regarding Troy’s decision to join the military.

It had been a sore point since Troy announced his decision, and his father was a bullheaded man who didn’t let things go easily.

What should have been a simple phone call home turned into a full-blown yelling match.

Troy should have known better than to bring up how much he was enjoying his work at the base and definitely should have known not to take his father’s bait when the man made a snide comment.

Now, it would be days before he felt comfortable enough to call his parents again, and just when he was starting to get the first real pangs of homesickness too.

The bed sank, and a shadow fell over him. Troy turned to look up at Oscar, who was frowning down at him.

“How long have you been here?” Troy asked.

“Long enough to hear you call your father a stubborn ass.”

“Great,” Troy muttered.

The last thing he wanted was for Oscar to hear his family drama. Sure, they’d been dating for months, but that didn’t mean Troy wanted to dump his bullshit on him. Oscar only had his brother, having lost his parents at a young age, and Oscar practically worshipped his brother.

“I bet I sounded like an ass to you, huh?” Troy asked.

Oscar chuckled, lying beside Troy. Before Troy could move, he felt himself pulled backward toward the hard press of Oscar’s chest, and the man’s warmth wrapped around him as Oscar pulled him into a tight hold.

“That depends, was your dad being a stubborn ass?” Oscar asked.

Troy snorted. “He thinks I’m wasting my time, going into the military. If I wanted to enter the medical field, I should have just gone to college.”

“Old argument, huh?”

“Well, old if you count a year and some change. But yeah, it’s come up a few times.”

Oscar nuzzled his face against Troy’s neck. “So, why didn’t you?”

“What?”

“Go to college.”

Troy shrugged. “I don’t know. It didn’t suit me.

I didn’t want to spend my days working nine-to-five jobs, trying to squeeze in as many classes as possible for the next eight to ten years.

I wanted to be doing stuff, and the military gave me that chance, you know?

Instead of sitting around waiting to be a doctor somewhere, I can be here, helping where I’m needed.

And I like my life. I like what I’m doing. ”

Oscar kissed his neck gently. “Then that’s what matters. And probably means your dad is being a stubborn ass.”

Troy chuckled, turning his head so he could see Oscar’s face. “Yeah?”

Oscar smiled. “Yeah. And if he loves you, he’ll come around eventually. I think he just wants what’s best for you, and he’s stuck on what he thinks is best instead of what works for you. Give him time.”

“I guess. Now, I have to sit around being miserable because I can’t talk to my parents. I missed them, Oscar.”

Oscar kissed him, running a finger gently along Troy’s jawline. “How about I make you that steak dish you like so damn much?”

Troy’s eyes widened. “That recipe you refuse to tell me?”

“That’s the one.”

Troy squinted. “Am I being bribed right now?”

“That depends, is it working?”

“It might be.”

“Then yes.”

Troy laughed, turning to face Oscar and burying his face in his chest. “Then I’ll let myself be bribed, but...stay with me here for a bit first?”

“Of course,” Oscar said gently, holding Troy against his body.

Steady. Comforting. Everything Troy needed and wanted at that moment.

Troy smiled to himself. Okay, maybe there were more than just a few good memories.

“Troy?”

Oscar’s voice snapped his head up, and he blinked owlishly to find him. Oscar stood a few feet away, frowning. Just seeing him was enough to send Troy’s heart racing again, and he remembered the press of his mouth against his, the grip of his fingers.

Shit, he wanted more.

Troy hopped up. “Uh, hi.”

Oscar looked around. “What are you doing out here?”

Suddenly self-conscious, Troy squirmed as he tried to think of something that wouldn’t make him sound like a total creep. Instead, he just went with the truth.

“Waiting for you.”

Oscar’s frown turned guarded. “Why?”

Troy returned the expression, stepping closer to him. “What the hell do you mean? Why else would I be here?”

Oscar shook his head. “I’m not doing this, Troy, not here.”

“Then, where? Are you going to take me to your place? Come over to mine and talk to me? Or are you going to keep avoiding me?” Troy asked.

Oscar averted his gaze. “I’m not avoiding you.”

Well, that couldn’t have been a more blatant lie if he’d tried.

Troy reached out, taking hold of Oscar’s arm. “Please, don’t do this to me.”

“Do what?” Oscar asked, stopping his attempt to walk away but not turning to face Troy.

Troy glanced around, all too aware that anything he said might send Oscar running if there was even the slightest chance someone could overhear them.

He hated the feeling Oscar’s fear left him with, trapping him in a particular way of behaving except in private.

Damn it, he just wanted to talk to Oscar, not tiptoe around every little thing he said.

Troy dropped his voice to a low whisper. “You kissed me.”

Oscar closed his eyes. “I know.”

Troy waited, seeing if there was anything Oscar might throw into the conversation, but there was nothing.

“So, that’s it then?” Troy asked.

Oscar looked at him helplessly. “What do you want me to say, Troy?”

“I want you to explain why. I mean, fine, you protected me, and I appreciate it, I really do. I probably wouldn’t be here, or I’d be in the hospital if it wasn’t for you. But that didn’t mean you had to do that, you didn’t have to kiss me.”

“It was?—”

Troy’s frustration grew as Oscar closed his mouth, shaking his head.

“What, Oscar? Were you planning on kissing me and leaving it at that? Were you just going to pretend like it wouldn’t give me hope, like it wouldn’t make me want?—”

Now he was losing his voice, his words. All he could do was stare at Oscar, hoping against hope that the man would say something. Make sense of it all.

“Troy,” Oscar began. “I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have kissed you.”

Troy’s hand went limp, pulling away from Oscar’s arm. It was the answer Troy had feared, and the one he’d hoped against hope wouldn’t be the case. The faint flicker of hope that had blossomed after Oscar’s surprise kiss fluttered and faded as he gazed into the pained expression on Oscar’s face.

“I’m sorry. I got caught up in the moment and just?—”

Troy jerked away, his pain flaring into anger. “Just what? Made a mistake? Do the rest of us a favor, Oscar, and stop making mistakes that screw with people’s hearts, how about that?”

“That’s not fair, Troy,” Oscar growled, eyes narrowing.

Troy jabbed him in the chest with his finger. “No, what’s not fair is you making it seem like there might be something going on, that we...that there was a chance for something else.”

“I never said anything about that. You assumed it.”

“Right, because kissing is such an ambiguous gesture, Oscar.”

“I said I was sorry.”

Troy stepped back, curling his lip. “Well, you can cram your sorry right up your ass. It was stupid of me to come to talk to you. I mean, hell, you’re the one who took off six years ago because you couldn’t hack it.

Why should I expect you to be any different now?

You ran, and even now, when I’m trying to catch up with you, you’re still running. ”

Oscar looked stung by the comment, wincing. “Troy?—”

Troy shook his head, turning and walking away before he or Oscar could say anything else.

He’d never felt more stupid, more humiliated than he did as he tried desperately to put as much distance between them as he could.

Like some little kid who didn’t know shit about the world, Troy had let himself believe there’d been some glimmer of a chance between him and Oscar.

He also refused to let the tears stinging his eyes flow.

Just as he had in the storeroom after seeing Oscar again for the first time in years, he shoved the emotions deep into the well within himself.

Troy had shed too many tears for Oscar as it was, and yeah, it hurt like hell to hope even for a moment and have it ripped away.

But he had ways of dealing with his pain, and a night out sounded real good.