Page 9 of Maximus (Gold Team #4)

After nearly three hours in the car, my ears had finally stopped ringing, and thanks to pain killers and a bottle of water Eva had bought during a pit stop so the kids could go to the bathroom, my head had stopped pounding.

During the drive, Eva handled all communication with Tex and my team. When there was something I needed to know, she’d jot down a few words, just enough for me to get the gist of what she was trying to tell me and hand me the notebook.

The safehouse Tex found us in Atlanta was perfect.

A man met us at the property and handed me the keys along with a drugstore bag and disappeared.

Eva shuffled the kids inside and didn’t argue when I handed her the keys to the Tahoe and gestured for her and the boys to wait by the door.

Miraculously, she understood I wanted to clear the house.

I’d made enough mistakes in the last five days, assumptions that could’ve led to Eva and or her boys being killed.

I wasn’t taking anymore chances. The house was small; an open floorplan, kitchen, living room, and dining room all within sight as we walked in.

Two bedrooms down a short hall, with one bathroom.

“Everything’s fine,” I told her and she smiled.

“You’re not shouting anymore.”

“Everything is muffled but I can hear again.”

“That’s good news.”

Eva had no idea. If I’d been any closer to the blast, I wouldn’t have been so lucky. That, and whoever set the explosive had set the charge in front of her car instead of at the rear where the gas tank was. He would’ve gotten more bang for his buck if the initial burst had more power from the fuel.

“Get the boys settled,” I told her. “There should be food in the fridge. I’m going to check in with the guys then I’ll help—”

“No.”

“No?”

“I’m cleaning the cuts on your face and arms first. It’s been hours. We need to take care of them before they get infected.”

Eva’s eyes narrowed and I knew I’d failed to keep my smile at bay.

“What’s amusing?”

There was not one goddamned thing amusing yet I was smiling.

There had never been a single person in my life who had offered to take care of me.

Not my drunk of a father, not my weak as fuck mother, not my bitch of an aunt or dick of an uncle.

None of them had ever showed the least bit of concern.

Not when I fell off my bike and scraped my knees, not when I broke my collarbone, not even when I was a little boy and had a bad dream and was scared.

Yet there was this woman, with more baggage than a cargo ship could carry, offering to help clean me up after her car had exploded and her kids’ lives had been threatened.

Not that she knew her car was gone just yet—I was waiting for the right time to explain that—but the fact remained she wanted to take care of me.

Knowledge that slammed into me with such force, I had no defense against it.

Our situation was precarious at best. She knew I needed to check in with Tex and my team to secure our safety, but first she wanted to make sure my cuts didn’t get infected.

What in the actual fuck was I supposed to do with that?

“Nothing’s amusing,” I answered.

“Then why are you smiling?”

“Never had anyone offer to clean me up before.”

Eva’s hands went to her hips, her gaze held mine, and her forehead wrinkled. “Are you screwing with me?”

“Why would you ask that?”

“No one? Really, not even when you were a kid?”

Yeah, I wasn’t touching that.

“Here.” I picked up the bag Tex’s man had given me and handed it to her. “I can clean my face, if you’ll dig out whatever is stuck in my right shoulder.”

Eva took the bag but didn’t follow me to the bathroom. Instead, she headed to the couch where Liam and Elijah were sitting.

“You guys wanna watch some TV while I help Max?”

Liam looked from his mom over to me then back to Eva. “Sure.”

She crouched in front of her sons and kissed each boy’s cheek before she handed Liam the remote.

“I won’t be long.”

The older boy nodded and scooted closer to his little brother.

No way would I wish the shit Liam had gone through on anyone, but if there was one good thing that had come from the shit hand the kid had been dealt, it was that he learned early in life to take care of those he loved .

The bathroom was utilitarian at best. A small vanity, a toilet, and a shower stall for one. Without much space between the three. I pulled my torn shirt over my head and pain radiated down my arm.

“Oh, hell,” Eva muttered.

“What?” I started to turn back to the mirror so I could see what had her grumbling, when my arm brushed across her chest and I stopped. “Shit, sorry. There’s not much room in here.”

“It looks like glass.”

Well, that would explain the pain.

“Hopefully, there are tweezers in the bag. You okay to pull it out?”

“Yeah.”

I glanced over my shoulder to find her pale face staring up at me.

“I understand if you can’t—”

“No, I can. I’m just sorry you got hurt because of me. Then you drove all that time with glass in your arm, and dirt and rocks in your face. We should’ve looked at it when we stopped. I should’ve driven. I’m so sorry.”

“Eva.” I carefully turned to face her, this time making sure I didn’t touch her.

Which was difficult, not only because the two of us in the tiny bathroom was a tight fit, but now I was very aware of her nearness.

Very aware she was a beautiful woman with a fantastic body.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. And I needed you to be my ears when I couldn’t hear over the pounding in my head.

You did a great job, by the way. You stayed calm, you kept in contact with my team, you guided us here, and you handled the boys even though I know you were scared and didn’t know what was going on. Thank you for that.”

“But you’re hurt,” she repeated .

“It’s nothing. A few scrapes. They’ll be healed in a few days.”

Her soft look and frown were almost too much to take. There was sadness and fear, but it was the concern that would be my undoing.

“How can you say it’s nothing? There’s glass in your shoulder and arm.

Glass, Max. And you couldn’t hear for like three hours.

I saw you wincing in pain when you were driving.

I don’t know you all that well, but a big, strong guy like you…

” She trailed off a moment and shook her head.

“I assume you’d have to be in a great deal of pain for it to show. And I saw how much you were hurting.”

“If you’re worried I won’t be able to protect you because I’m a little scratched up, I promise you I can.”

Eva’s lips parted before they closed and opened a few more times before she sputtered, “Wor-worried? I’m not worried about you protecting me. I’m worried about you .”

“Babe, I swear I’ve been banged up worse than this and continued on a mission.”

Now she was openly gaping at me. If the situation wasn’t totally fucked up, I’d say she looked fucking adorable standing in front of me, eyes wide, mouth hanging open, clearly alarmed at my declaration.

“I don’t want to know what kind of missions you’ve been on,” she snapped.

“Obviously, your definition of a scratch and mine are two different things. My boys scratch themselves when they’re playing in the backyard trying to climb the tree.

Liam gets banged up when he falls off his bike and scrapes his knees.

This…this is something different. There was an explosion.

” The words whooshed out of her. “Something exploded. That’s insane.

And how close were you to the blast? What happened? ”

Oh, hell no, I wasn’t going to tell her it was her car that blew up when I needed her to get the glass out so I could take a shower.

That information was for later, after the boys were asleep and we were alone.

She’d done remarkably well keeping her shit together, but I had a feeling that tidbit of news would send her reeling.

“Let’s talk about what happened later.”

“Why?”

“Because you need to get back to the boys, and when you go back to them, you don’t need to be upset and worried. Liam watches you, he picks up on your moods. If you’re anxious, he’ll feel it. Elijah is already nervous around me. I need them both relaxed—it’s the only way they’ll trust me.”

Some of the softness that had crept in slipped away. Anytime I mentioned the boys, she became overly defensive.

“Eva, listen to me. Nothing I just said was meant to be a dig. I’m not trying to offend you.

It’s a good thing Liam pays attention to what’s going on around him.

He’s smart. He loves his mom and brother.

What I’m telling you is, I want you and your kids safe.

Which, I swear to you, I will keep you all that way.

But neither of them are going to trust me if their mother goes back to them agitated after spending time with me.

I have one shot with them. Please give this to me.

After they go to bed, I’ll tell you everything. Just trust me.”

Eva studied me for long moments. And I did something I hadn’t done in well over a decade.

I didn’t mask my emotions. I didn’t deliberately blank my features and shut down.

I allowed her to see I was being honest. A gesture I didn’t afford anyone else in my life.

I was a cynical asshole, I didn’t trust anyone outside of my inner circle and I didn’t give a shit if others outside of those I respected trusted me.

I didn’t bother to put forth the effort because I knew it would be a waste of time, I wouldn’t trust them back, so I saved everyone involved the trouble and remained closed off.

But for some reason beyond the fact Eva was my mission and keeping her alive would be easier if she trusted me to do so, I actually cared if she did.

“You’re right. They’ve done great so far, but if I’m freaked out over what happened, they will be, too. And you need to check in with your team. Brooks said he’d be waiting for your call.”

Determination shone in her eyes.

The love she had for her boys was undeniable.

And a flicker of something I couldn’t read flashed in her eyes, her chest heaved, and the pulse point in her neck throbbed.

“Hey.” I reached out and placed my hands on her shoulders and she stiffened. Damn, I’d meant to comfort her, not freak her out. “Everything’s gonna be okay.”

“It doesn’t feel that way.”

“It never does when you’re in the thick of it. Darkness creeps in and tricks you into believing it will never end. But it always does.”

“I feel like I’m right back where I started.

When Tex saved my boys and brought them back to me, I swore I’d do better.

I promised myself that no one would ever hurt them again—including me.

One bad decision snowballed out of control.

I know you don’t care and it doesn’t matter, but I never wanted to hurt anyone.

And I’m not as stupid as you think I am.

” Eva’s chin jutted out and she stood a little taller.

“Tex gave me a new life, and whether you believe me or not, I’ve spent the months since then doing nothing but working and spending time with my boys. ”

I wanted to believe she hadn’t wanted to kill Bubba and Zoey, that she had a conscience. But it was hard to forget she’d dropped the two of them off in a remote area of Alaska and left them there to die.

What would it have been like if my mother had been willing to do anything to keep me ?

“Where’d that come from?” I asked her.

“Where’d what come from?”

“I never said I thought you were stupid. I never said I didn’t care. And believe me, it matters to me and to my friends that you have some sort of remorse for what you did to Bubba and Zoey. But why’re you bringing all of that up right now?”

“Because sometimes I catch you looking at me with suspicion. I have nothing to hide. I told Tex everything—every painful detail of my life. I withheld nothing, he deserved to know everything about the woman he was willing to help. And now here you are, hurt because of me, because you were sent to play bodyguard. I don’t want anyone else hurt because of me, I can’t take anymore.

I’m afraid the guilt and anger is going to consume me until there’s nothing left.

And if that happens, where does that leave Liam and Eli?

I talk a big game and say I’d do it all over again to save my boys.

I tell myself that I had no choice, but it is all bullshit.

I’m weak. I was barely holding it together before, and now I’m afraid I’m going to break.

There is no light for me—only darkness. Nothing will ever be okay for me.

The best I can hope for is that it will be for my boys.

As long as they’re happy, healthy, and good men, I don’t care what happens to me. ”

Eva Dawson believed every foul word she said about herself and I hated that she did. Hated that she believed her life was meaningless and the only two people who mattered were her kids.

But the funny thing about hate was, it was a hair’s breadth away from love.

And fuck it all, I admired the hell out of a woman I wanted to dislike.

I couldn’t stop myself from respecting the fierce mother she was.

So, I hated she didn’t care what happened to her, but goddamn if I didn’t love how she put her boys first—above all else.

There wasn’t a damn thing weak about Eva.

I knew she’d hitchhiked back to Alaska and I knew where she’d been a stripper to save money to buy her boys back.

She would do whatever she had to do to give Liam and Elijah what they needed and she’d drain herself doing it—physically, financially, morally.

She’d completely bankrupt herself before she let the boys fail.