Page 36 of Maximus (Gold Team #4)

Something was different.

I couldn’t put my finger on it, but Max was off .

Throughout dinner, he talked to his friends, he even made it a point to include Liam and Elijah.

By the end of the meal, Eli was actually talking and smiling.

Anaya was great with the boys, too, not that I thought she wouldn’t be nice to them, but they seemed at ease with her.

Which seriously put my mind at ease about her going to Alaska with us tomorrow.

Thankfully, no one mentioned the trip. I had to find a way to put a positive spin on it for the boys and that would be difficult.

By the time Anaya and Kyle were ready to go, the boys were nonstop yawning. They fist-bumped Kyle, and much to my shock and amazement, they hugged Anaya.

Max walked his friends out, leaving me alone with the boys.

It’s now or never.

“Before you guys go to bed, I need to tell you something.” I waited until they looked up from the puzzle they’d gone back to and I had their attention. “Tomorrow, we’re going to go on a trip.”

In a bizarre turn, Elijah smiled and looked totally excited to be going somewhere while it was Liam who frowned. Normally, Eli would be leery, he was the shy and quiet one who didn’t like change. But Liam, even after what happened to him, seemed to roll with the program.

“Where are we going?”

“Alaska.” Liam’s scowl deepened and he looked like he was getting ready to cry. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Are we coming back here?”

“Of course we are. Tomorrow, we’ll fly up there and then we’re coming straight back here.”

“Why are we going?”

“I have a… there’s someone I need to meet with.”

Shit . I was making a total mess of this, and now Elijah looked like he was getting ready to freak out.

“Is Max coming with us?” Eli probed.

His question broke my heart yet simultaneously filled me with joy. I hated that my boy sounded so unsure, but his eyes held hope—he wanted Max with us. More progress.

“Yeah, honey, he’s coming. So is Anaya.”

The front door opened and I lost the boys’ attention as they watched Max enter the room.

“We’re going to Alaska,” Liam announced. The accusatory tone took both Max and me by surprise. “And you’re going.”

“Yeah, little man, we’re going to Alaska. Your mom has a meeting so we’re all going with her.”

“Why is Anaya going?” Liam continued to push.

Before I could explain, Max jumped in.

“Because I’m going to sit in the meeting with your mom and the two of you can’t be left alone so Anaya’s gonna come so she can watch you.”

“We don’t need a babysitter,” Liam snapped .

My breath seized in my lungs at my son’s harsh response.

“Bud, I know you—”

“You don’t know anything!” Liam shouted. “I can watch Eli. We don’t need a babysitter.”

“Liam, baby, why are you so upset? And don’t talk to Max like that.”

I glanced from Liam to Max, my heart beating a mile a minute, my mind reeling from Liam’s out-of-character outburst, but the fire blazing in Max’s eyes turned me inside out.

“Why does it matter? He’s gonna leave. Who cares how I talk to him?”

“I do, Liam. It’s not—”

“Liam, look at me,” Max ordered. When Liam turned his glare to Max, I held my breath wondering if I should intervene and take the boys into the other room so we could work out whatever was bothering my son so deeply he’d lashed out.

But I didn’t have the chance, Max started speaking and when he did, my already broken heart splintered into a bazillion jagged pieces. “First, I’m not going anywhere. And second, I know .”

Max slowly walked toward Liam, then knelt in front of him and held out his right arm, turning it to show Liam a series of small, faded scars on the inside of his forearm. “I know, bud. I have the same marks you have. I got mine the same way you did.”

Excruciating silence ensued.

Max and Liam’s eyes locked in the most agonizing battle I’d ever witnessed. If my son’s tears weren’t my undoing, the wetness beneath Max’s eyelids would’ve done it.

“Your dad burned you, too?” Liam whispered.

“He did,” Max confirmed.

“Why? ”

A sob tore from my soul.

Why ?

That one loaded word really asked a thousand questions my boy didn’t know how to articulate.

“There’s no answer to that, Liam. There’s never a reason for a father to hurt his son. There’s no excuse for a man to harm those in his care. The only thing you need to know is, Jay was absolutely wrong and it will never happen again. No one will ever hurt you or your brother again.”

Elijah’s little body collided with my legs and I quickly scooped him up. His legs wrapped around my waist and he shoved his face in my neck.

The room was stifling, my skin crawled with more hatred than I knew I could possess. I actually itched with it. Jay Dawkins was the devil, I despised him with every cell in my body. I hated him so badly I thought I was going to explode with it.

Then Max changed everything.

He placed his hand on my son’s shoulder, leaned in close to Liam, and in that moment, all pretense was gone—and the real Max Brown spoke.

“You’re gonna be okay,” he whispered. “I know it doesn’t feel like it right now.

And it won’t feel like it tomorrow. It may take months, but one day you won’t feel it anymore.

The pain will be gone. But until that happens, until the pain fades, you can’t bottle up all the anger.

It’s okay to be mad about what your dad did.

It’s okay to be angry he hurt you and your brother.

It’s okay to be upset he took you guys away from your mom.

You get to feel anything you want to feel.

But, bud, you don’t get to yell at your mom.

You can yell about what he did to you. You can cry, you can shout, you can sit quietly and think about it, anything you want except raising your voice at your mom.

She loves you and Eli. What your dad did, he did to all three of you.

She hurts just as bad as you do. So does your brother, he just shows it differently. ”

“I don’t want him to be my dad.”

“I don’t blame you.”

“I hate him.”

“I bet you do and that’s okay.”

“I don’t ever want to see him again.”

“Good, because you never will.”

Max patiently waited for Liam to continue his tirade.

Unmoving, unwavering support.

Something that me and my boys had never had before.

And suddenly, something inexplicable happened—the loathing slipped away.

Jay was gone. He’d never hurt my boys again.

We made it.

I made it.

Max was not Jay. He wasn’t my father. He wasn’t the man who’d duped me when I was a teenager, knocked me up, then bailed.

Max was Max.

It was as simple as that. I could list a hundred reasons why he was different but I didn’t need to.

I didn’t need to convince myself I was doing the right thing by taking a chance with him.

I didn’t need to ignore red flags and excuse away bad behavior because I was too fucking weak to walk away.

Because there were no flags waving, no neon signs flashing, or anything else.

And that was because Maximus Brown was a good, honest, fearless man.

And we were keeping him.

He was ours.

I would fight and die so my kids could have a strong, decent man in their lives. No, not just any man—Max.

“Are we going to live here?” Liam asked Max.

“Yes. ”

“Will you live here, too?”

“Yes.”

“And when we’re in Alaska, my dad’s not going to take us?”

“I swear on my life, you will never see him again.”

Somewhere in a dark corner of my mind, I wondered if Max could make that solemn oath because Jay was dead.

Tex never told me what happened, the only thing he said to me was that Jay would never be a problem again.

When I asked how he knew that for sure, Tex’s response was “trust me” and since I already trusted him, I stopped pushing for answers I knew I’d never get.

I wondered what it said about me that I felt relief at the prospect of him being dead. As fast as the thought flitted into my mind, it fled just as quickly. I wouldn’t feel guilt over being relieved my kids were safe and I refused to give Jay anymore headspace than he’d already taken.

“You won’t let anyone take us?”

“Correct, Liam. I won’t ever let anyone take you and your brother from your mom—not ever again.”

“Okay.”

Okay ?

After all of that, Liam’s only response was, okay?

“Okay,” Max repeated. “Then tomorrow, we fly to Alaska.”

Liam severed their connection and his gaze slid to me. “Sorry, Mama.”

God, I missed Liam calling me Mama. He’d graduated to calling me Mom and anything Liam does, Eli parrots, so now Eli mostly called me Mom, too. But I missed Mama.

“I know you are, sweetheart. And Max is right, I don’t want you holding all that anger inside of you. If you have something you need to say, say it, I promise I’ll listen. I want you to know, you and Elijah are my two most precious people and I will do anything for you. ”

“I know.”

Man, I hope he knows. Down to my soul, I hope he knows I love him more than anything .

“We have a big day tomorrow. Is there anything else you want to talk about or are you ready to hit the sack?”

Liam didn’t say anything but he kept staring at me so I prompted, “Liam?”

“I know this sounds stupid because Max already said he was staying, but I want you to know I want him to live here with us.”

Not trusting my voice, I gave Liam a sharp nod of understanding and brushed my hand over Elijah’s hair. When I finally pulled my shit together enough to speak, I asked, “Elijah, honey, is that okay with you, too? If Max lives here with us?”

“He makes me safe,” Eli whispered.

“He makes you safe?” I repeated.

My son didn’t respond, not verbally anyway. But his little arms around my neck squeezed and I knew that was his answer.

Max made him safe.

“Yeah, Eli.” I kissed his forehead. “Max makes all of us safe.”

My head lifted from my son’s, and as if a magnetic force surrounded us, my eyes snapped to Max’s. And when they did, I found his eyes sparking—not with anger, but with something else far more dangerous.