Page 41 of Maximus (Gold Team #4)

The last thing I wanted to do was leave Eva alone in the bedroom. I had a million questions, the first being why in the hell did she call Zoey. I didn’t need to ask how she’d gotten the number. That was easy—Tex.

But I couldn’t fathom why she’d call.

That wasn’t true—I knew why she’d called.

Eva was making amends.

Fuck .

Now she was curled up in bed, undoubtedly crying, since she was barely holding it together when I’d gone back there to check what she was doing.

“Can we watch one more episode, Max?” Eli asked.

“Sure, bud,” I answered as I sat down on the couch next to him.

If I couldn’t be in the bedroom taking care of Eva, at least I could take care of the boys.

“Is Mom all right?” Liam asked.

“Yep. I think all of the excitement of the day wore her out.”

“Can your friends come over again? ”

“Sure. Did you have a good time?” I asked even though I knew he did.

Since we’d gotten home from Alaska, the vibe in the house had shifted.

Eva had changed, she relaxed, the tension she’d carried had diminished, and because of that, the boys had changed, too.

All of us had fallen into an easy routine, but what was most noticeable was Elijah had come out of his shell.

He talked all the time. Liam was still watchful, but I figured the trauma the kid had endured would take longer than a week to dissipate.

“Yeah, I like seeing Mom smile,” Liam told me.

Christ. Some of the things the kid said undid me.

Always looking out for his mom and brother.

I was torn between wishing Liam was a regular kid thinking about what video games were coming out and proud as hell that at six he understood what it meant to look after those he loved.

The next thirty minutes went by in silence. Liam and Eli’s attention on the TV and my mind filled with Tex’s call.

His team had tracked Joshua Lemont—the second man Kenneth had contracted to kill Eva, and it had taken them less than an hour to get him to talk.

The Eklunds were well and truly fucked. I wasn’t sure if Bubba would be relieved the ordeal was over, or if the news his father’s longtime friend and attorney was a dirty asshole would be another hit in a long line of shitty events.

Either way, he had Zoey, and I was fast learning with the right woman by your side, there wasn’t anything you couldn’t survive.

I heard Eva’s footsteps and I craned my neck to watch her walk into the room. She stopped near the couch and took the three of us in with a megawatt smile that stole my breath.

Damn, she was stunning. There was nothing average about her, and looking back to the first day I saw her walking out of the grocery store, I can’t for the life of me remember why I’d thought that.

She’d pulled her hair up into a ponytail which gave me a clear and unobstructed view of her slender neck.

The sight of it never failed to conjure up memories of the sounds she made when I kissed the sensitive skin there.

Eva didn’t have a “spot” or even a few of them that turned her on.

It didn’t matter where I touched or licked or nibbled, her body responded in a way that had me harder than I’d ever been in my life. Everything about her was perfect.

“Why are you smilin’?”

“Just looking at my guys.”

My gaze slid from her so I could take in what she saw. Elijah had fitted himself to my side, his little boy body pressed against mine, Liam had scooted closer to his brother. The three of us only took up half the couch instead of sprawling out, which there was plenty of room to do.

This was what I’d been missing all my life.

Hell, I hadn’t even known I was missing it all those years because I hadn’t known it existed.

Until Eva and the boys.

“Bedtime when this is over,” she told her sons.

“Okay, Mom,” Liam muttered.

I turned back to Eva, happy to see all earlier traces of worry were now gone.

No anxiety, stress, apprehension.

The longer I studied her, the more realization dawned—this was us.

This would be our life. Lazy Saturday afternoons hanging with our friends, the boys running around out back, lounging on the couch doing nothing but enjoying each other’s company.

Fuck yeah .

This was the very definition of nirvana.

“The boys go down okay?” I asked when Eva closed the bedroom door behind her.

“Yeah.”

I watched her walk toward the bed and tamped down my desire to demand she strip naked before she joined me under the covers. Yet, I held my tongue—we had things to talk about and if she got into bed undressed, there would be no talking.

The determination and resolve that had served me well over the years was nonexistent when it came to Eva.

The slightest press of her silky skin against me would chuck all of my good intentions out the window and I’d have her on her back, my cock buried deep, and her moaning in two-point-five seconds.

“Did you ask them about switching rooms?” I asked in an effort to keep my dick under control.

“Liam was excited to have his own room. Elijah not so much. They’ve always shared, so I think Eli’s just nervous.”

“Then they’ll share for a while. Liam won’t mind.”

“I know,” she sighed. “I just hate that Liam always has to sacrifice for his brother.”

“Come here, Eva.”

I pulled back the comforter and waited for her to climb in next to me before I dropped the covers and settled her on my chest.

“I was just thinking the same thing earlier when I was watchin’ TV with the boys.

I’m torn because I want him to just be a worry-free kid.

But he does worry, he wants to take care of his mom and brother.

Which I have to tell you makes me proud.

Maybe one day, that will change and he’ll turn into a self-centered teenager.

” I gave her a soft squeeze. “But for now, I think you have to let Liam be who he is—a really great kid who’s already showing signs of growing up to be a great man.

We’ll keep an eye on him and if need be, step in. ”

“I agree. I think once their stuff gets here and Elijah gets a little more comfortable, he’ll want his own space.”

Now that the topic of the boys getting their own rooms was settled, it was time to move on to something that we needed to hash out.

“We need to talk about you sleeping here in bed with me and not sneaking out in the middle of the night.”

Every night, we started in this bed, but after we’d made love, she’d leave and I’d sleep alone. Not only did I hate her not being with me, I was worried about why she was doing it.

“Just a few more weeks.”

“Explain to me why you leave.”

Jesus, could I sound anymore pussy?

“I just think it’s the right thing to do. This is moving really fast, Max. Like at warp-speed. I mean, we’re already living together but I don’t want the boys to see me sleeping in here with you—not yet. I think they need more time to adjust.”

“Are you having second thoughts?”

Fuck, now I sounded like a desperate pussy.

“What? No. Of course not.” Eva picked her head up off my chest, her yellowish-green eyes full of concern. “Are you?”

“Fuck, no. Why do you stop yourself before you tell me you love me?”

Yep, I just threw that right out there.

Smooth, asshole, real smooth.

“Wha’?” Her question was more a swoosh of oxygen on an exhale.

“You start to say it, but then you stop.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because I can see it. Hell, Eva, I can feel it. You get ready to say it and my heart starts thundering in my chest preparing to finally hear what I’ve been waiting for, then you close down.”

“You want to hear it?”

“Jesus, woman, what do you think we’re doing here? I’m not playin’ house, passin’ time, twiddling my thumbs. I want this—not for a while—forever. Of course I want to know if you love me.”

“Well, you haven’t said it. Do you love me?”

“Hell, yes, I love you.”

I seriously needed to work on my delivery.

Eva’s eyes widened. She gave a choked gasp before she stopped breathing altogether.

“Take a breath, honey.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

How was I supposed to answer that? Admit I was too much of a coward to say it first? Tell her I’d never in my whole life said those words to anyone—not even to Pam and I’d asked her to marry me? Confess that I was a chicken-shit and if she didn’t return the feeling, it would crush me?

Yeah, no. I wasn’t telling her any of that.

“I was worried it was too soon.” I settled on something that didn’t make me sound like a total tool.

“That’s why I didn’t say it. I was afraid you weren’t ready to hear it and you’d run a mile.”

“I’m not gonna run a mile and I’m ready to hear it. Hell, I’ve been ready.”

Everything seemed to happen in slow motion, even though Eva moved quickly. She scrambled to sit astride me, her hands going to my face, capturing not only my eyes but my soul.

“I love you, Maximus Brown.”

Fuck .

My eyes closed as I soaked in the words .

“Say it again.”

“I love you.”

Christ, fucking hell . The sweetest pain sliced through me, a thousand tiny blades pierced my heart. In the space of a few seconds, Eva had decimated me only to put me back together.

Reborn.

“Never heard those words,” I choked.

“How is that possible?” My eyes snapped open at the anguish I heard.

No pity, only disbelief.

“I think you understand how I grew up,” I reminded her.

“When your father’s an abusive drunk and your mother’s cowed and more worried about fending off her next beating than about protecting her child, there’s not much time for hugs, kisses, and declarations of love.

My aunt and uncle didn’t love me nor did they pretend to. ”

“But Pam… You asked—”

“Babe, it kills me to admit this, because I’m gonna sound like a prick. I didn’t love her. I knew it then and never lied and said the words. Neither did she. I asked her to marry me because I was scared of losing the only thing that was familiar.”

“I hate that for you.”

“Can’t change the past.”