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I hadn’t intended on taking Wren out on the ice, it was a lucky coincidence, excuse the way I was named Lucky by most. He’d been on my mind most of last night, and in class. I hadn’t been able to focus, thinking about the conversation we’d ended on. And I wanted to know more about him just like he wanted to know more about me, I assumed.

We’d compromised on his stuffed killer whale teddy being on one of the chairs in the penalty box with a view of us on the ice.

And to my surprise, he wasn’t like Bambi, or fragile at all. A surprise to say the least. He had a little trouble stopping himself without bashing into the barriers and hooking up chunks of ice in the process.

“You wanna ask me some of your questions?” I asked, glancing up at the large digital time displayed near the scoreboard. We had twenty minutes before we would be screamed at to leave.

His nose and cheeks were nipped red. “How did you get into ice hockey?”

“Ok, so, I always loved roller blading, but my mom thought it was super dangerous.” I skated backwards toward him, hoping to impress him.

Wren laughed. “So, she hasn’t watched you on the ice then?”

“Oh, she has, but she saw all the gear I have to wear when I play. So, she kinda assumed I was more protected,” I told him. “She still asks me if I have all my teeth after every match though.”

“And do you?”

“Surprisingly, I do.” I ran my tongue across them, as if it would’ve prompted my teeth to change. “Except one of them was chipped. The dentists did something with it so you can’t even tell.”

At the barrier, stopping himself with sheer force, Wren fanned his face. “I’m surprised I’m so warm.”

“Wanna see?”

“See?”

I opened my mouth. “The tooth. It’s this one.” I didn’t know exactly where I was pointing, and I was sure I was the only person who could visibly see the tooth that had been remade in a dental office.

“Oh,” he laughed. “I don’t know what you would’ve even meant.” He got closer to my face, pushing up on the skates.

“Can you see?”

As he pushed up on the edge of the blade to look inside, he slipped, landing on me, and pushing me on my ass as he fell on his knees between my legs.

“Fuck, are you ok?” I asked, trying my best to hold him almost. “I should’ve dipped or something. I forgot these things add inches to my height.”

Wren grumbled slightly, biting hard on his bottom lip. His eyes were glassy and a little pink, almost on the verge of tears. “I’m fine,” he let out in a croak.

“You’re not fine. Let’s get you off the ice,” I said. “I’ll have to look at your knees. You fell with some force.”

He continued to push his tongue between his teeth and bite down slightly. “Yeah. It hurt.”

“You don’t have to be brave,” I told him. He wasn’t one of the players, he didn’t have the put on a facade for me. “It’s ok. I won’t tell anyone.” On my feet, I helped him up to his. He was still sliding around on the skates, cooing at his knees. “Lucky we’re near the gate.”

“I’m glad nobody saw.”

“Except for the security cameras.”

He groaned. “No, no.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t let anyone see them, not like I have the key for the office, but I won’t tell anyone.” I just wanted to stop him from feeling like he had to feel ashamed for falling, with whatever I said, I hoped I was doing right by him.

On the chairs, I kneeled in front of him. The first step was unlacing his boots and pulling them off. I didn’t know if he’d twisted or rolled his ankle at the same time, so I made sure to inspect them as well. I saw the socks again, with tiny killer whales on them.

“You think I’ve done serious damage?” he asked.

“I can get the physio to look at you, but I’m not even sure if they’re in,” I told him. “Your ankles are fine.” I rolled his trouser leg right up to the knee. They seemed a little red and tender to the touch but only to the touch, he didn’t seem to have any other issue besides that. “Well, I don’t think we’re gonna need to amputate them.”

He choked on a gasp. “What?”

“I’m just kidding,” I said. “You will be fine, but maybe you should talk to the physio, and they can check you over, maybe give you some pain meds if they hurt.”

“Maybe a sucker,” he said with a big smile. “Like you’d get when you visit the doctor or something.”

“You’re real funny, you know that, Wren,” I said, unable to contain my own smile in his face. “If I get you one, will you omit the part where you fell to the ice because of me?”

Wren really contemplated it, or at least, looked like he was. “I still have more questions,” he said. “Can you get my bag?”

I fetched his bag and the stuffed orca which had also seen the fall happen. I saw Wren’s face really light up when he was back with his toy. And once more, there was something strange happening in my stomach. There were flashes, almost of bright colors, like I was on ride at a carnival, a carousel that was going a million miles and all the neon trim lights were coming at me. I was on the verge of being sick.

“Are you ok?” he asked. “You look pale.”

“Mmh, all good,” I told him. “Oh, that’s another, you need to get a scarf and a hat. It’s gonna get cold soon and you’ve gotta rep the team.” My head slightly spinning still from the whirlwind of whatever was happening inside me. I hoped I wasn’t getting sick.

Wren nodded. “Yeah, I know I need to get them,” he said. “I think I have a scarf, but I might have left at my mom’s. I had to leave so much stuff that I wanted to spring.”

I sat up beside him on the seats as the women’s ice hockey came out. They hadn’t even registered us being there, and if they had, they were keeping it a secret. “What couldn’t you bring?”

“I have a lot of yarn,” he said. “So, all that for starters, and then there were a couple of other comfort items too, but it’s not a big deal, I’ll see them over Christmas break.”

Endearing, that’s what this was. That’s what this feeling had been squeezing in the pit of my stomach, I was endeared to him and his soft sensitiveness. It was a feeling I hadn’t experience before, and if I had, then it had passed quickly.

“I’m still feeling ok if you want me to ask you more questions,” he said, hugging his teddy orca and his knees to his chest. “Like, what’s your goal for the season.”

I’d been asking myself that too. The goal was always to win the league play-offs and get to the division 1 championships to be best of the best. I knew that wouldn’t happen. We had talented players on our team, but when it came to all D1 schools, we did not have any division championships under our belt.

“Stumped you?” he giggled.

“No, no, well, maybe a little. I think it’s a good question. You know, I should have an answer for it. I would like to build our social media presence and get more support for the team. Maplehaven is such a small town, but it’s incredible the amount of support we get here.”

“Do you have a plan for that?”

“Some of them suggested lip-syncing to popular songs.” My throat drying at the comment I’d made and the small backlash that occurred from it, mixed in with seeing his rainbow pin, and how he was probably under that umbrella. “What do you think about that?”

He nodded. “I think it’s definitely a fun idea, but also I think showing off the players too, like—” he paused, mouth slightly open as he gasped. “Like dating profiles. Like, obviously, not dating profiles, but like—” he stumbled over his words a little more, the excitement catching in his throat. This was the most animated I’d seen him. “Ok, you post the players, the role on the team, which year of study, and like thirst traps.”

“Thirst traps,” I laughed, mostly because some of the guys were very active on social media posting pictures of their bodies post-gym session. “And you think it would get more people in?”

“More girls” he said. “And gays.” It was a quiet addition, but he wanted me to hear it. “So, yeah, that’s my idea.”

I nodded. “It is a good idea.”

“You haven’t said any of your ideas.”

“Doing trends and stuff, there’s some teams online that do these challenges, I wanna hammer into that. We’ve got a knew social media person working for the department, the last guy was more of just doing the media side of promoting. A bit older, you know, the older folks never really get social media.”

“In my write-up, I’ll say, you plan on leading the team to victory, which is a given, and I’ll even mention how you were really kind with the ice-skating lesson.”

“Just don’t mention falling, please.”

He nodded. “Got it. I have more questions.” Removing his knees and teddy from proximity to his chest, he reached into his bag and pulled out a notebook. On the page, it was filled with questions. I tried not to look at them, I liked the surprise.

“Hit me with it.”

The first question came. “Do you have a girlfriend?”

“Oh, we’re starting there.”

Wren smirked before turning his face to hide it. “The readers wanna know.”

“Very single. Always have been, despite any rumors.” And I knew there had been a new rumor every week since my freshmen year about me and a girl.

* * *

In the kitchen at the Icehouse, Julia was snapping her fingers at players as they came in and tried to snack on anything that wasn’t the allotted portion of fruit or veggies, she’d already sliced up for us.

Julia had worked for the team for about ten years, so way before I’d even thought about coming to Caldwell College. She was in her mid-forties, silver streaks of hair from her temples which attempted to blend in the light red hair she often kept in a tight bun on the top of her head.

“No chocolate,” she snapped at me as I opened the fridge door.

“I’m not getting chocolate.”

“Good, because it’s for a cake I’m making later,” she said.

I grabbed a vitamin water and turned to her. “Why?” I didn’t want to ask too many questions, but it was unusual she’d be making a cake, especially when we were all supposed to be on strict eating plans.

Standing over a large industrial size pan in her chef white clothes, she furrowed her brow at me and cocked her hands on her hips. “You don’t know?” she asked.

“Clearly not. Fuck. Is it a birthday?”

“Bingo,” she chuckled.

“Are you gonna leave me guessing? Whose birthday is it?” I asked, opening the bottle with the intention of drinking the entire thing. I didn’t think I could keep anything down after some of the feeling that had come over me this afternoon and it was now almost dinner time.

“Jack,” she said, quietly, almost mouthing his name. “Don’t worry. It’s tomorrow. I assumed you knew, captain.” She gave me a little wink. “Also, you didn’t take one of the lunches I prepared for you. So, what did you eat? If it’s bad for you, we can keep it a secret, I won’t let Maria know.”

Maria was the nutritionist who worked with some of the teams on the campus. We’d still yet to have the start of semester talk from her like usual. It was always the same stuff, fueling the body, and telling us never to starve ourselves. It was always accompanied by another two doctors, one of them was a sports psychologist and the other our physician.

“Has anyone mentioned a plan?” I asked her.

“I’ll trade you information,” she said, grinning from ear to ear.

“Oh no, that’s a dangerous game, you’re gonna ask me to tattle. Even as a sophomore when I first moved in, I knew not to do that.”

She clicked her tongue. “Worth a shot,” she chuckled. “Dinner will be ready in twenty minutes, so make sure you’re around, otherwise you’ll be getting it cold.”

“Gotcha.” I gave her a salute.

I strolled through the house, hoping to see someone. Everyone was in their rooms, apparently, and I didn’t blame them, it was the first day back, my brain was ready to turn off as well.

My room was the biggest, a perk of being the captain. Two large windows, letting in all the light with a view of the mountains surrounding Maplehaven. I could’ve stared out of the window forever, at least while the sun was setting and seemed to be swallowed by the earth.

A text buzzed through on my phone.

It was from Wren, saved with a small orca and a ball of yarn.

— Thank you for taking care of my knees earlier. They’re not damaged, don’t worry. And thank you for the interview answers. But I might omit the girlfriend question, I don’t want your inbox full of girls asking you out on dates. Let me know if there’s anything else you want me to include in the write-up.

I read the message over a couple times, tying to recall the questions. There were a lot of them, and some of them were joke questions, but they were interesting.

— Thank you for thinking up ideas with me as well. I’m sorry I couldn’t get you anything from the merch, I didn’t really think about the store being closed when I said it. And you can keep that question in, I’m not looking for a girlfriend anyway, so it’s fine.

As soon as I sent it. I knew what I’d just implied to him. I wasn’t looking for a girlfriend, but maybe I was looking for a boyfriend.The sickness came back up in my chest, it wasn’t something I’d thought about before. Besides non-serious high school girlfriends where it was just kissing, I’d never really thought about it.

And now, everything was weird. Like someone had slapped me and they’d loosened dirt in my ears. It was like life made a little more sense now. I kinda had the hots for Wren. It was as clear as day, he had this quiet infectious energy about him that tingled me the way nobody else had managed to touch me with before.

— Is that like a religious thing? he asked back.

Maybe my weird unintentional coming out moment to him had just gone over his head. I didn’t know if I preferred that. I still had a lot to come to terms with myself.