Page 24

We were keeping a healthy distance from each other, both saying it was to not be distracted, although that really didn’t help because we were on the phone with each other for hours some nights. If we couldn’t be in proximity contact, we could at least be there as a voice to speak and tell the other how our day went.

Over the week, we met up for some lunches and he came by practice where the team were always happy to see him, especially from the amazing write-up which didn’t feature me too heavily, and the team seemed to love that I wasn’t getting special treatment. I suppose they didn’t see the real special treatment Wren gave me though, and that was worth much more.

Another night, and another late-night phone conversation. Wren was distant, quiet, the occasional tapping on his keys sounded, breaking the silence.

“Everything good with you?” I asked, breaking my concentration from the business textbook I’d been viciously highlighting yellow.

“I’m fine, I’m just missing you.”

“One more night and we’ll be together,” I reminded him about the upcoming trip. It was in New Hampshire against Whitley College. They were a fierce team and competitor, but they’d lost one of their star players to an early draft pick and another to graduation.

“I guess I just need more than one night a week,” he said.

“Ok. Tell me what you need and I’ll try and make it happen for you.”

“I don’t know, that’s the thing. I just—” in the background of his phone, there was a lot of shuffling around.

“You can tell me what you need or want, or both. Tell me.”

After a moment of heavy breathing from his side, he spoke. “I’m nervous it’s not going to go how I want it to.”

“How what?” I asked. During the week going for lunch together and seeing each other, it hadn’t seemed like he was struggling with anything, and I was on the look out for it. He was an anxious boy, and I really wanted to do my best and make him comfortable wherever he was.

“This,” he said. “I don’t think once you see the full picture of me, you’ll like what you see. And it’s making me nervous.”

“You’re nervous about letting me in.” That seemed like the fact. “Well, don’t be nervous about that. You are this beacon of light and I’m basically using as much of that light as you will give me so that I can be a better player.”

He giggled. “No you’re not.”

“I am. I think about you, a lot.” It was the first time exploring a relationship, and the first time experiencing most of these emotions. It was nice, I wasn’t going to lie about that, it was very nice, but it was scary too. “I read something last night that might help, actually.”

“Was it mine?” he asked in a panic.

“You haven’t let me, except your stuff for the paper. But no, this was about some littles, they make these worry dolls, and some of them make them in clay, others in yarn, like you, and then they destroy them with all their worries in. Kinda something similar we do on the ice, we get these face masks done and place them on those large mannequin guards and we take shots at them, usually with them protecting the goal.”

“Ok. How do I do it?” he asked.

“First, you make something, and then you can tell it your worries, or fears, and once you’re sure it’s not going to spill your secrets, you can burn it, rip it up, or bury it. I think that’s what the website said.” It was something I’d thought of mentioning to him but for a different reason. I wanted to make something that was covered in his loving in whispers, and my whispers back for him. That way we could have always each other on each other.

“I’ll do that and see how I feel,” he said. “I just wish I could come over and cuddle.”

“Or I’ll come over there,” I said.

“No, no, you can’t. You’ve got to be up early to train. I know it’s not possible. And I’m not a distraction,” he said. “So, I’ll just pretend you’re with me.”

I gave him a kiss down the phone, hoping he received it quickly.

This was the first time I was doing the boyfriend thing for real. I know in the past people had called me their boyfriend because they wanted tickets to games, or just for social clout, but this was the first time I was reciprocating it back.

“Also, the octopus just told me to tell you to sleep tight.” The octopus had been laid on one of my spare pillows, undisturbed it just watched me almost. “I’m gonna go, but I’ll see you tomorrow, and I would like one big hug. Like, I want to lift you off the ground type of hug.”

Wren giggled down the line. “That’s a promise.”

“Promise. Love you. Good night.”

“Love you,” his soft, sing-song voice replied.

* * *

Nobody could’ve prepared me for the feeling of love I had for another person. It wasn’t a love like I had for family, this was actual admiration, and the idea that this was happening at such a young age in my life almost caused my heartache from feeling like there was an inevitably that it wouldn’t work out.

It was away day. We took the team bus over to New Hampshire. It could fit around forty people on it, which accounted for the entire team, some members of staff, and of course, my sweet Wren.

We’d had a pep talk before boarding, all cheering to the team work we were about to put into the game, and a little smack talk about how they were about to fall flat on their faces. I tried to keep them away from being too aggressive, which was not possible, but coach was adamant on having a clean season, even though part of the entertainment people came for was the brawls.

Wren sat at the window and I sat beside him, unable to keep my eyes off him.

The bus was quiet, everyone was locked in on their goals, and the freshmen were praying they’d get a chance to play. I know that’s what they were doing because it was the exact position I’d been in as a freshmen as well.

“I think I might run out of yarn,” Wren whispered in the quiet as the only sound was the low thrum of the bus engine. He’d been crocheting up a storm, and most of it was done without even watching what his fingers were doing.

“What are you making?”

“A scarf,” he said. “It’s an easy one. I’m thinking of adding our initials into it as well. But don’t look, it might be your birthday present.”

I playfully screwed my eyes shut. “My birthday isn’t until November, we’ve got a little while yet.”

“Yeah, I know, it’s November 30th, you’re a Sagittarius.”

“Oh, am I?”

“Yep. And when’s mine?”

This should’ve been easy for me, we were talking about it. He’s born in the summer. “May,” I began, seeing his head nod. “Twenty—”

“Go on.”

“Twenty-third.”

“Bingo!” He giggled. “Which makes me which sign?”

I puffed my cheeks, making a raspberry with my lips. “Damn. I have no idea.”

“A Gemini. You’re fire, I’m air, and together, we make probably a fire tornado.”

Touching his face, the warmth of it was so sweet. “Well, I don’t think I can wait to get you a gift,” I told him. “I might’ve already ordered you something. Hopefully it doesn’t arrive while we’re away, Julia might not know what to do with it.”

He perked up at that. “What is it?” He asked.

“I can’t tell you.”

He prodded my arm. “Please, please.” He continued to prod, again and again, as if searching for a sweet spot on my body that would force me to reveal the present. “Pretty please.”

“Nope, you’ll have to wait,” I said. I leaned in and gave him a kiss, followed by a little whisper. “If you’re a good boy, I’ll give you a hint later.”

He entire body shivered with a little giggle. “Mhmk.”

The journey lasted two hours where we arrived at our hotel room in the town of Whitley. A nice place, looked the same as the last time I was here and lost, but that wasn’t going to happen again this time. This time, we were here to win.

Hotels were always booked for away games, even if they were a couple hours away, purely for convenience. Nobody wanted to deal with a drive home after a game, even if we were passengers. Plus, win or lose, we loved celebrating away from our coaches who couldn’t see just how many calories we were consuming.

Everyone was sharing a room, twin beds in each. It was obvious I was sharing with Wren. Coach approached us with a keycard in hand. “I don’t have to give you two the talk, do I?” he laughed, handing me the keycard. “Go get settled. We’re heading over to the college in an hour. Remember, we’re guests here, best behavior.”

I nodded. “Best behavior.”

“I’m always on my best behavior,” Wren added.

Coach chuckled. “Good. You keep them honest, and don’t let them sway you with your reports. The last one was stellar. But a little pressure on Mason, the freshmen who was subbed in.”

Wren nodded. “I kinda wish I’d picked him for my fantasy league now.”

“Oh, you’re playing?” he asked. “Which league?”

“Ice Kings Fantasy League,” he answered. “I’m hoping to win this season. So you’ve got to keep Luke on the ice.”

Coach glared at me and nodded. “We’ll see,” he said. “Those freshmen might be giving him a run for his money.”

“Just what I wanted to hear.” I knew he was joking, but it was keeping me on my toes. Even if the freshmen didn’t get to play, they were still on the team and were able to celebrate the wins.

We took the elevator up to the third floor and we were in room ten. Wren’s body carried electricity with it, holding my hand as we walked, their was a strange jolt to him, like he was tugging my hand.

“Do you think there are other people on the team that might be together?” he asked, at first in a whisper, but as he repeated it, I was already processing the question.

“You asked that before. Do you know something I don’t?” I asked, opening our hotel room to the bright light shining in from the window. “I won’t tell anyone. I promise.” I sat my duffel bag with stick hanging from the handle down by the side of the door.

He hummed and nodded, walking off and throwing himself and his bag onto one of the twin beds. “We should push them together.”

I joined him on the bed. “You can tell me, you know.”

He turned his head to face me. “It’s not confirmed, but I think there could be some other people on the team that might be interested in guys as well.”

I was out of my depths, I barely even knew my own sexuality, let alone begin to speculate on someone else’s sexuality. “I’m sure they’ll come out when they’re comfortable.”

“I think so too.”

“Wait. Do you think two —” I held two fingers up to him to demonstrate. “Two guys on the team are together.”

He nodded. “Maybe. I don’t know. It’s just something I saw. But I don’t even know, my brain just works weird I think. Connecting dots that don’t exist and all that.”

“Baby,” I whispered nuzzling my head to his neck and kissing him. “Are you worried someone will beat us for cutest couple of the year?”

“Huh?” he nearly scrambled off the side of the bed. “Is that a real thing?”

“No.” I kept hold of him and pulled him close. The beds would need pushing together, otherwise we wouldn’t be able to sleep comfortably together. “But we know the answer is going to be us. Right.”

Wren nuzzled his head into my chest. “Right.”

“I wish we could spend more time together before the game.” I kissed the top of his head. “But you heard the coach, we need to be over at the place before the game, I think we’re going to see if we can get five minutes on the ice before the game as well.”

He kept hold of me now. “I don’t want to go.”

“You don’t have to, not until later, but you should, for moral support,” I told him. “And because you’re repping the Orcas with your jersey, teddy, and you need to get the scarf and beanie from your bag.”

“I suppose that means I have to.”

“And also because you’re being a good boy,” I told him. “And good boys get good rewards, remember.”

A light whimper let his lips. “I am good. So, can I get a reward now?”

“How about a clue to that big reward waiting for you back at home?”

He pulled his head back to look at me, as if trying to determine whether I was being serious. “Go on.”

“Well, it’s big, that’s the first clue, the second clue is you can sleep with it.” I zipped my lips after that. It was already too big of a clue, and I wanted it to be a surprise. But somehow, a third clue slipped. “And it’ll be fun when you invite me into your little space.” And that was it. No more clues.

Wren gasped. “Ok. I’ll be good, and be your lucky charm.” He leaned in and rubbed his nose against mine. “That’s how it works. I’ve given you luck.”

“We’ve shared it.”