Page 29

We arrived at our destination. Pineberry Falls. It was between the mountain range. Rainbow flags were outside buildings, and every window frame and planter box was decorated with colorful lights. We drove slow into town as I stared out of the window, taking in every single sight the town had to offer. Large balls of snow pulled together to form little snow families of varying sizes and some were even dressed in scarves and hats. No carrots for noses, but twigs and sticks.

“This is somewhere I could live forever,” I let out in a whisper, my face nearly flush to the cold car window. My breath fogging up my view.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

“It’s incredible. Where are we staying?”I could’ve looked at the GPS, but the view outside of the window was far more appealing.

“A bed and breakfast just up the road,” he said. “The Pineberry Brook Inn.”

“I thought it was called Pineberry Falls.”

“Well, you should ask them when we get there.”

The idea of traveling and seeing places like this was a dream for me, but anxieties had always stopped me. Daddy’s presence gave me the confidence to express my wants and needs in life. Seeing the sights, meeting new people, and getting to experience things I might not have, even if they were only forty minutes away.

We passed what I assumed was a town square. Stalls were out, also decorated with the colorful string lights. People crowded around the stalls with large plumes of steam combating the snow in the air. Soups, hot chocolates, and food. I was salivating, even after devouring two candy bracelets and a bar of chocolate.

Arriving at the destination, I just stared out of the window at the large cottage type building. I felt like I’d been transported through time. It looked like something straight out of an old picture book where frog people lived.

“Welcome,” a voice greeted Luke as he was first out of the car.A bald man with a thick black beard walked out to meet us, and even though it was snowing, he wasn’t dressed for it.

I pulled my coat back around my arms and fastened it in place before I left the car. My instinct was to cuddle up beside Luke and hold his hand for reassurance.

“I’m Ezekiel Ashwood,” he said. “The Pineberry Brook Inn has been in my family for generations. It’s run by myself and my brother, Elijah. I know, not at all confusing to have two people with a similar name.”

“Oh, that’s nothing,” I giggled. “Luke is on an ice hockey team with someone called Liam.” I quickly closed my mouth before I said my second thought which was about Liam also engaging in a relationship with a guy.

Ezekiel chuckled. “Oh, that’s amazing, the team, not the names. I take it you’ll be wanting directions for the lake then?”

“I’ve been here before, not here here , but to the lake,” Luke said. “Although, any recommendations you might have, I would love to hear them.”

I hugged Luke’s hand tighter. “Oh, I had a question. Why is it named Pineberry Brook Inn instead in Pineberry Falls Inn?”

“Well, there’s a story behind that,” he said. “But before I tell it, do you want to get checked in and out of this snow? Also, there is a small parking bay just around the side of the house. If you’d like to park there, you’re closer to the side entrance so I grab bring your bags inside.”

“You want to go inside while I do the car?” Luke asked in a quieter voice. I nodded and he gave me a kiss. “I’ll be in soon.”

“We have a log fire burning inside as well,” Ezekiel said. “You’ll be our only guests over Christmas, so anything you need, just let me know.”

As I walked into the large cottage house, following the owner, I smelled the most divine smell of cookies waft through the air. I nearly dropped Bloo who I’d tangled up with me in the process of putting my coat back on.

“It smells so good,” I said, my eyes darting in all directions to see how gorgeous every corner of the house was and the kitschy old style. A lot of exposed wood but covered in cream paints. And wooden beam supports in the ceiling. “And I hope we’re not getting in your way of your Christmas.”

He shook his head. “Oh no, it’s actually nice to have people over during the holidays,” he said. “Most people drive the extra house to Snowflake Springs. We’re a much more popular spot for the summer. Do you already have plans for your time in Pineberry?”

“The lake,” I answered. It was a spot of nerves for me because of how I fared on the ice the first time with Luke, but we’d been on the ice several times since then, and while I hadn’t fallen since, it wasn’t on a lake—where I could fall through. Even though everyone supposedly went there to skate. “And the ranch. They have a petting zoo, right?”

“Wilde Ranch,” he said, eyes lighting up. “Not the typical ranch. They don’t herd cattle, but they do have sheep, goats, and plenty of chickens. I think most of Pineberry gets their eggs right from the ranch.”

“So no cows?”

He shook his head. “They have alpacas, as well. Two of them, adorable animals. Rescues from a zoo that went out of business. Anyway, you go sit yourself in front of the fire, I’ll help your partner with the luggage.”

A shiver of excitement ran through me. I wondered if it was obvious we were in a relationship with each other. I hoped so, the place didn’t seem to be intolerant of people, they had pride flags throughout the town.

In the lounge where the crackle of the log fire welcomed me, I sat on the large red leather arm chair, sinking into the softness. I was beginning to sweat. As I pulled my coat off, Bloo was still tucked under my arm. “It’s a nice place,” I whispered to him. “I think Daddy likes it too.” He’d overcome that crushing loss from the tournament, but I think it was more than that. The Orcas were third in the conference rankings, which meant they weren’t going to the playoffs in March, but they had a couple more games yet. I also had the second-best fantasy league team, and I needed Daddy to be on his best game for both of us to win.

“Sorry,” Luke’s voice traveled followed by a grunt and a groan. “I swear it’s not full of bricks.”

From where I sat, I didn’t have a great view of them, but they were talking about my suitcase. “Oopsy doopsy,” I said, shrinking as if to hide in the chair.

We were checked into the largest room in the house. The only other people staying here were Ezekiel and his brother, who we’d yet to meet. The room had the same cream and dark brown wood stain color throughout it.

As the innocent little who was not allowed to carry his bags, I got away with just walking behind them and pretending Bloo weighed like an actual orca in my arms.

I perched on the end of the bed, testing out how firm it was. It was nice, I threw myself back onto it, sinking into the thick duvet. It was like being swallowed by a marshmallow.

Luke laid beside me, patting out the duvet to get to me. “What are your first impressions?”

“Incredible,” I told him, rolling over onto him. “The owner was telling me the petting zoo had alpacas, so we need to go there.”

“Of course.”

“And I might just watch you on the lake ice, if that’s ok.”

“I’d never force you to do anything you didn’t want,” he said. “But I do want to go on that ice, just to see if it’s anything like I remember.”

I nodded. “Then we can do that. I also think we need to go into the town and get some wrapping paper because I forgot to wrap your Christmas present.”

“You didn’t have to get me anything. I told you.”

“I did.” It was technically a gift from the heart because I’d made something. “And I’m very excited to see what you think.”

He patted his hands down my legs, lifting himself slightly as he reached my feet. “You’re not wearing the thick socks,” he said. “I told you it’s going to be cold. The feet are temperature regulators. If they get cold, you can become sick.”

“Really?”

Daddy mode was activated. He smirked. “I was told it, so I’m telling you. And I think it’s very true. If you didn’t bring any, I’ll put some of mine on you.”

I pouted at him. “I can’t be forced to remember all this information.”

“Lucky, I noticed before we went out.”

“Very lucky.”

With his hands on my back, we rolled over until he was off me. I laid on the bed, staring at the wooden posts across the ceiling. “Did you remember the projector?”

“I did, and I also downloaded one of those Santa sleigh things that goes across it like he’s flying,” he said from across the room.

I was looking forward to all the fun stuff we could do now we weren’t stressing about school or the hockey team. I liked stressing about that stuff, mostly because it made for two distinct modes of being. Adult mode and little mode.

Daddy tugged on my ankles, dragging me down the bed where he pulled my thin socks off and replaced them with the thicker, wool on the inside socks. “See, now you’re all prepared for the outdoors.”

I wiggled my toes in them at him. “They do feel nice.”

He pretended to bite them. “I bet they taste nice too.”

“Nooo, you can’t have them.”

“Nom, nom, nom, I’m gonna get them.”

* * *

Pineberry was a nice place, easy to walk, and much better to walk when your feet were properly taken care of in the warmth of Daddy’s thick cozy socks. We explored the small market stalls in the center of the town square, the library with it’s vibrant reading nook all painted in the colors of the rainbow. It was the most welcoming I’d ever felt coming to a place. My anxieties seemed to drip away, almost like I never had them.

As we spent a couple of days in the town, we’d discovered the best chocolate croissants at a bakery which was also part of another shop called the Stock Market, which to my surprise wasn’t full of businessmen shouting about money, but a place that sold soups, and only soups, with the bread made at the bakery. We didn’t manage to get to the ranch because of heavy snow blocking off the route, and possibly wouldn’t clear for weeks.

On the third day, Christmas Eve, we went to the lake. Everyone we’d spoken to had been telling Luke about how well it is to skate on, and that was before they learned he was a hockey player.

Lake Pineberry was a five-minute drive away. We’d waited most of the morning for the snow to stop before we went. Both sets of skates were taken, although I still held up that I didn’t want to go on the ice unless I felt comfortable, which was weird because Luke made me feel comfortable about everything.

A picturesque lake surrounded by snowcapped mountains. There were already several cars parked nearby, and twenty or so people on the ice. Their happy faces, slightly pink from the cold were laughing and giggling as they zoomed around, making patterns with their skates.

“Ok,” I agreed. “But only by the edges.”

“Only if you feel comfortable,” he said, taking my gloved hand and kissing it.

“But I want you to properly skate. I want you to show off in front of everyone because they must see how special you are.”

Daddy’s blushed, or maybe he was also just cold. “You’re special. I’m just—good at ice skating.”

From the passenger seat in the car, with my legs swung over the side. He fastened me up into the skate boots. I clung to Bloo, nearly tearing him in two from nerves.

“You want to take Bloo on the ice with you?” he asked.

“Oh no, he’s staying in the car. If he gets lost, I don’t know what I’d even do.”

“Ok, well, maybe we can position him on the dash so he can watch.”

It was a good idea, but he would have to pry him from my hands first, and although I had agreed to go on the ice. I didn’t know if I wanted to go on it, or just to say I’d been on it.

“I’ll hold your hand,” he said. “I’ll never let go. I promise.”

“Promise?”

“Pinky promise?”

“And seal it with a kiss.”

Pinkies were promised and kisses were pressed to my face, but they were cold, and made me shiver. It was a deal. I tugged on the rim of my Orcas team merch beanie just so it hugged my ears and kept them warm.

As we stepped and the crunch of snow underfoot cried out, I took in some slow deep breaths and exhaled them even slower. I knew nothing bad was going to happen to me, everyone else was having fun, which meant I should be out there having fun as well. Luke kept looking back at me, he hadn’t shaved in days and the scruff on his face gave him so much more of a Daddy look now, it felt like a hug just to look at him.

There was a natural divot where people had stepped from the land to the frozen lake. Daddy took the first step onto the ice, and I wasn’t letting go of his hand, so I took the second step and I held on tight.

“Oh god, oh god,” I mustered under my breath of panic.

With one hand locked with mine and another around my waist, he guided me on the ice, slowly, skating around the edges, but there were no barriers here. I clung to him as if he was about to be snatched away.

“You’re doing a great job,” he said. “You’re being so good right now.”

“Thanks, I think I might pee myself if we stop.”

“Don’t do that, you’d have to take them off, and then you’d be really cold,” he said. “Or I would, because I’d have to take my clothes off for you.”

And before I knew it, almost like he’d distracted me, we’d left the edges of the lake. Not by much, but enough for me to know I couldn’t just take a leap of faith and find land at my fingers.

“I like that we can do this together,” his words soft and close to my ear. “Maybe the Orcas can recruit you next year.”

I offered a weak laugh for the joke, because it had to have been one. “I’ll stick to writing.”

“Am I getting to read anymore of it?”

“Maybe, I feel a bit weird now that Liam and Dom have been hooking up. Have they mentioned anything to you about it?” And he was distracting me with conversation, making me comfortable so we would skate further out.

“I think Liam knows I saw him,” he said. “He mentioned something in a question, about noise, and how far our room was from his.”

“They were a couple rooms down, but we didn’t hear them. Although, if they’ve been dating for a while, they’re probably good at being quiet.” We came to a slow stop as people passed us with quick speeds. “Look at this view.”

I had to admit. It was worth it, skating all the way out. Seeing the mountains around us from a central point. It was breathtaking. I tried pushing the thoughts away that were telling me I was on frozen water, and beneath it fish were probably in stasis, if not swimming. I didn’t know how down it went.

Slowly turning around to see all angles, I hadn’t noticed Luke leave my arm until I’d turned fully back to him. He stood with a blue velvet plush box out in his hand. “This isn’t what you think,” his first words.

“Uh.”

Opening the box, there was a silver band with a rainbow chromatic coloring within it. “I wanted to do something special,” he said. “This is a promise ring. And I wanted to give it to you before Christmas, but I hadn’t found the right time. Ideally, at the petting zoo in your happy place.”

I stared at him, suddenly very conscious of being stood on the ice. “I didn’t get you anything.”

“It’s a promise from me to you, a promise that I’ll be the best partner, boyfriend, and Daddy you could ever want,” he said. “A promise that our connection goes deeper than anything I could’ve expected.” He took my shaky hand.

“Ok.” I nodded a little.

“I love you, Wren Duffy, and I promise never to stop learning how to make you happy.”

Warm tears hurt as they came down my cold face. Happy tears, but I never expected to be out here crying because of this, maybe the fear of being so far out on the lake, but not because of how much I loved him.

“Do you accept my promise?”

“Yes,” I said, wiping my eyes and sniffling. “I accept.”

He took my glove off and slipped the ring over the ring finger, which held its own meaning, but this was his promise to me, and his intentions were clear. He wanted to be with me. Maybe forever. I hoped it was forever.