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I didn’t feel nearly half as judged as I thought I would be going to the ice hockey house, although I had misread the text Luke had sent me. It was easy to do when our last conversation had been about me interviewing him. But the guys there all made me feel welcome, it was nice, even if I kinda thought they were all only being nice to me because I was practically the press pool for the team.

After eating a little and talking to Luke about my crochet hobby, I left, not wanting to overstay my welcome, and he seemed to stay by my side the entire time I was there, which I liked because he was lowkey a nice person to be around, even if my first impression of him wasn’t that great.

I snuck back into the house, trying not to get anyone’s attention. I was able to sneak upstairs to my room and settle in for the evening. In my onesie, surrounded by all my stuffies, and with a selection of notepads. It was a struggle committing to just one of them when I would go from writing notes to scribbling ideas and then drawing.

Today had given me a deeper insight into one of my secret hobbies that nobody knew about. I was a little scared to even write about it on paper in case someone found out, everything relating to it stayed on my laptop.

The fanfiction. I wrote it about the ice hockey team. Specifically, I wrote it about Liam and Dominic. It was from one of the first matches I saw played at the home arena. They did this thing where they grabbed each other’s shoulders and bashed their heads together. It looked like they were whispering something, but they had mouthguards in, so they probably weren’t. And even tonight, I’d seen it. Liam was a big guy, and Dominic was much slimmer without all the equipment on him.

Whenever I managed to steal glances at the grill, Dominic had always been there, and Liam chased him around with steak, telling him to eat. These steaks were the size of Dominic’s head, even with the spiked hairdo.

Laid in bed, I giggled and kicked my feet about the idea that they might’ve been dating, even if it was just boys being boys or whatever. I played with my teddies, replaying the event for them. I used Bloo as Liam given his size, and one of the small jellyfish as Dominic.

“And then they kissed,” I giggled, smooshing the teddies together. “Mwah, mwah.” I hunched in at the sound of the floorboards near my door creak. I hoped I hadn’t been too loud, and I hoped nobody had heard me. Staying still, the creaky floor continues all the way across the hallway.

It didn’t stop me playing, I played with the teddies a little more until an email notification pinged on my laptop.

The Ice Kings Fantasy League was back again for another year. It was a college-based fantasy league for D1 ice hockey teams, there were other fantasy leagues that existed, but I liked this one, mostly because of all the blue and white colors that looked like crushed sea ice.

Reading the email, I was ready for this season of the fantasy league to begin. I now had an insight into the Orcas, and I knew who I wanted for my team, even if the way players were drafted on a team still annoyed me. I just wanted to have all the players I wanted, and most of them were Orca players.

“I know who I want for certain,” I told Bloo who had no choice but to look up at me in that moment. My first pick was going to be Luke, he was nicknamed Lucky for a reason, and he was clearly driven to having the best season possible since it was his final one in his college career.

They listed the important dates and all the details in the email, so I didn’t have to worry too much just yet. The season wasn’t beginning until October.

* * *

School started on the Tuesday, and I’d been awake for three hours already. There was no rest for the anxious. I’d showered, dressed, and packed my messenger bag with everything I’d need. My first class was at 11 with Dr. Evelyn Hart, she was my creative writing teacher, the first module was on literary monsters, which I wasn’t too excited about because the last thing I wanted was nightmares, but I was assured it wouldn’t be quite so intense.

I couldn’t escape to the back of the class for her, she employed a model UN system of seating where everyone was in a circle and since the class was small, I couldn’t sit behind anyone. Everyone was looking at everyone, practically staring into their souls.

One of the good things about this class was that I wasn’t going to be glared at by Sophia. I bet she only wanted my assignment so she could get good intel for her fantasy league team. It was just one of the benefits for me. The most important part of the assignment for me was how close it made me feel to my dad, and he must’ve helped me get it.

“Wren Duffy,” Dr. Evelyn said, reading from a list.

“Yep,” I said.

“What comes to your mind when I sat literary monsters?” she asked.

“Frankenstein.”

She hummed. “Ange just said that. But let’s be mindful that it wasn’t Frankenstein who was the monster, it was his monster.”

“Well, Frankenstein made the monster, so I think he could definitely be considered a monster too,” I said, immediately wishing I’d stayed quiet.

“If that’s the case, do you believe the author, Mary Shelley to also be a monster?” she asked. “Considering she wrote the man who made the monster.”

I shrugged. “Maybe.”

A couple people around me chuckled, so I’d said something right, or wrong.

“While that isn’t what we’re here to talk about in this class, it is an interesting discussion topic,” Dr. Evelyn said with a big smile beaming right at me. “Can you think of another literary monsters?”

On the spot, I didn’t know anything right now. After a couple of false starts, I came out with. “Dracula.”

“Another good example,” she said, going along to the next person.

“Pennywise, obviously,” they said.

“The entire Cullen family from the Twilight saga,” another answered, followed by more laughter.

I wondered about monsters, and all I could conjure was Sully from Monsters Inc. at least I wouldn’t mind if I saw a big bear of a man hiding under my bed. I would prefer it.

The class was an introduction before we were assigned to define monster and the elements that go into crafting a monster that’s capable of scaring its readers. I didn’t really want to create a monster like some of the others were already talking about, it was already far too monstrous in the world, but I was a creative, and I could figure out a way to make it my own thing.

After the class, I walked from the humanities building, once more contemplating buying a bicycle given the thought of potentially walking home rather than spend hours on campus between classes getting nothing done.

“You headed to the ice?” Luke’s voice caught me from behind. He planted a hand on my shoulder, his big hands were so firm. I tried not to droop once side of my body under the tingle of pressure.

“No, no, I was just—”

“Come on,” he said. “Unless you’ve got another class to get to.”

“I need to grab lunch,” I said, despite already packing a sandwich and a juice box in my bag.

“Ok, well, eat something, then come over to the rink so I can get you on the ice,” he said. “You said you wanted to, right?”

Not technically. “I thought Tuesday’s the rink was reserved the women’s team.”

“Yeah, but during lunch it’s open,” he said.

I gnawed on my bottom lip. My next class wasn’t until three, it was my first journalism class of the semester, and it looked like it was going to be text heavy given that it was on media theory. I knew I needed to be having fun and enjoying my time, but I also needed to be alone and go over everything that had happened during the day already. I needed to nitpick at what had happened in the creative writing class and whether people were laughing at me, or with me.

“Come on,” he said. “And you can interview me.”

It would help me out with my extra curriculars. “Ok, and I still have the sandwich I packed, so I can eat that.”

“It’s almost like you were trying to lie to me,” he said, giving my arm a pat. “What size boot do you think you are?”

“Like eleven and a half.” I didn’t know how that translated into boots, but I assumed he knew the math. I glanced at his feet; they were much bigger than mine. And once more, just being in his presence had all thoughts drain out of my mind. I didn’t know what I wanted to ask him anymore.

The rink was at the other side of campus, there should’ve been caddies for the trek. I knew there were some for the groups that had to travel into the mountains and forest trails. On the walk over, Luke talked non-stop about his plans for the team, which was good, but I didn’t know if I was even taking any of it in. Everyone was looking at him, and I was more concerned with what they were thinking just looking at me standing so close to him. I hoped they didn’t think I was as cool as him.

At the building, the team coach was talking to someone else. He broke that conversation off to talk to me. “I heard you’re reporting for the Orcas this season,” he said. “I hope Lucky here is making sure to take care of you.”

I looked up at Luke just as a light hit him from above, almost heavenly in that moment. I nodded. “He’s being very accommodating.”

“That’s a great captain there,” the coach said.

“Doing what I can,” Luke said. “I’m just here now to get him on the ice.”

Coach shook his head. “You’ve got forty minutes until the women’s team begin training.”

“We don’t have to,” I said. “We can—”

“Of course, we have to,” Luke said. “He told me he rarely goes on the ice, and I said, we couldn’t have that.”

I had hoped the coach would’ve had something else to say about it, but he just wished us luck and we walked through to the locker rooms. This was first time I’d been inside. It was all made up of the team colors, everything was either blue, white, or black. Luke walked me to his spot with his jersey on a hook above the seat and the locker above it.

“Has this always been your spot?” I asked, looking at the ten on his blue jersey. I reached out, my fingers savoring the feeling of the cold and lightweight fabric.

“No, I’ve moved all around,” he said. “Sit here and I’ll go get you some skates. We’ve got a bunch of old spares.”

I sat in the quiet locker room, imagining what it must’ve sounded like full of players, each of them doing their pre-game rituals, or how rowdy I knew they could get on the ice, they must’ve been even more wild in here. But this was where Luke sat, with view of almost every other player. Losing my breath, I reached into my messenger bag and found Bloo.

“Ok, these should be your size,” Luke said, carrying a set of boots. He looked at the tongue inside, pulling it out. “It’s a little faded, but these should fit.” He locked eyes with me, and Bloo. “You take him everywhere?”

“Yeah.”

“I bet he’s good company.”

He didn’t know just how much good company he was. “Is it ok if I bring him on the ice?” I asked, squeezing Bloo.

Luke kneeled in front of me. “You can, but I don’t know if you’ll be able to keep hold of him,” he said. “It’s best if you have both hands free.”

“I figured. I don’t want to drop him.” I kept hold of him at my chest.

“Oh, I see you’ve got that rainbow badge on again,” he said as he worked on the laces of the boosts. “You didn’t have it yesterday. What’s it for?”

This was supposed to be my interview of him, eventually, at least, not him interviewing me. “Oh, it’s just a rainbow.”

“Not a pride thing?”

He knew it. “Yeah, for pride,” I mumbled, almost not even convincingly enough for me to come out to him.

“Can I put these on you?” he asked. “I don’t know who had them on last but they knotted the laces up right.”

It was too late for me to tell him no, he was right in front of me, already prepared to take my shoes off. I didn’t know if my feet were going to smell, but there was already a bit of odor in the locker room anyway. “Ok, but—”

“I’m sure your feet are fine,” he said with a smile I could only describe through a series of stomach tingles and full body shivers.

The caretaking role he’d unknowingly taken on over me was something I’d only read in those fanfics where you insert your name as the lead character. Like, what was Luke Hotchkiss doing lacing me up in skates? And why was he smiling at me like he could read my thoughts? Oh god, nobody was going to believe me when I told them, especially not my entourage of stuffies, and Bloo was my witness.