Page 68 of Learn Your Lesson

“But as you are well aware, I went through hell and high water to find a nanny who didn’t make me want to pitch myself off the nearest cliff. Ava adores you. I am beyond grateful for what you do for her, for me, forusas a family. And the last thing I want is for this arrangement to be put at risk due to us being stupid.”

I didn’t dare interrupt — mostly because I was highly entertained by watching him fumble his way through this.

“So, here’s what I propose,” he said, and he sat back down, back straight and eyes hard on me. “Sex.Onlysex. Whenever we both consent to it and as long as it doesn’t interfere with Ava or our business arrangement in any way, shape, or form. No one can know. Not your friends, not my teammates, not Chef Patel, and most of all, not Ava. I need to know that will be enough for you, that you’re not secretly hoping for more than that. Because I can tell you, right now, that I can’t give it to you.”

Every time this man said the wordsex, my body wound itself tighter and tighter. I felt like I might shatter into a thousand pieces if he said it one more time.

“I can do that.”

He blinked, as if he hadn’t heard me correctly. “You can… do that.”

I nodded, heart thundering with excitement that I tried to tamp down.

“You’re okay with just having a physical relationship, with no other ties, no other promises for more,” he said slowly.

“Yep.”

“This is not a relationship, and never will be,” he said again, like he was sure I hadn’t heard correctly.

“Good. I can’t date anyone, anyway.”

He frowned at that, opening his mouth like he wanted details on thecan’t, but then he changed his mind.

His throat constricted, and he leaned forward just marginally over the table.

“No kissing.”

“No kissing,” I agreed, even though Ivery muchwanted to kiss. I understood the boundary. Kissing was intimate — maybe even more so than having sex.

At least, I could imagine. Not that I’d know.

“And you can’t fall in love with me.”

“Youcan’t fall in love withme,” I repeated, heart hammering even at the thought. I could just hear my mom’s disappointment if I told her this job I’d taken to set up my future and stability turned into me being in a relationship I promised her there was no chance of.

Will almost smiled, his eyes lighting with curiosity. “You think I’d be the one to fall in love?”

“Obviously. Have you seen me?”

I gestured to my old, ratty pajamas that I’d sewn back when I first started learning, the pattern a god-awful, multi-colored tie-dye that deserved to die in the late 90s.

I needed a joke right now, because the heaviness in the room was enough to suffocate me.

Will’s eyes raked down the length of me, amusement in his eyes. But as per usual, he didn’t laugh. He didn’t smile.

Hedidgrow quiet, though — hesitation furrowing his brows.

“I don’t want to be your friend, either,” he said.

His eyes met mine, serious and intent.

“I… I’ve been there before, and I can’t do it again. When I say this is just sex, I meanjustsex.” He shook his head. “We have to stop talking about shit. I don’t want to tell you about my life, and I don’t want to know about yours.”

Those last words stung a little, but I shrugged them off.

“Great. I hate friends, anyway.”

Will tilted his head to the side. “You hate friends.”