Page 48 of Learn Your Lesson

Realization hit us hard.

“The cats!”

And we both took off in a sprint.

• • •

Will

“Go ahead. Keep laughing,” I said to Chef Patel. “Remember who signs your paycheck.”

That made her snort before another fit of laughter, and she hung one hand on her hip, snapping a pair of tongs at me. “Your accountant signs my check, and I bet you wouldn’t even know how to fire me if you wanted to. I’d probably get checks in perpetuity.”

I grumbled in lieu of answering, not wanting to confirm that she was right.

“Besides, this is the best thing I’ve seen since you refused to shave your mustache during the playoffs four years ago.” She shivered with a bit of a grimace, like the memory brought her both amusement and disgust. “And this sight is far more cute.”

“I’m going to have hair on me for days.”

“Just don’t cough any of it up near my food, and I’m fine with it.”

Arushi turned back to what she was doing in the kitchen as I let out a heavy sigh. Apparently, that sigh disturbed one of thethreecats currently using me as a bed, because the white one meowed and glared at me.

“Don’tmeowme,” I warned.

The orange one had been the first to invade my space. Here I was, minding my own business and watchingJeopardy,when suddenly I had a furry asshole in my face.

And I do mean a furryasshole.

The cat I was pretty sure was named Nacho had jumped right into my lap, twirling until its tail flicked under my nose. It promptly took a seat, and when I immediately tried to remove it, I was met with a hiss that told me I’d better think twice.

I was ready to bark at the damn thing when its companion decided it was best to team up on me. Black and gray striped and far skinnier than the orange fluff in my lap, that one climbed up onto the back of the couch and walked to where I was sitting before curling up on my shoulder like a scarf.

Every time it flicked its tail, I got a mouth full of hair.

And just when I thought I couldn’t be in a more nightmarish situation, a third, white cat sauntered into the living room. At first, it slow blinked at me and watched from a distance, but as if it sensed when I was about to stand and shove the other two off me, it bounded over and made biscuits on my house slippers before settling in as if it were a nest.

So here I was, held hostage by three cats that scared me more than any winger ever had.

The one on my shoulders jumped a little when my daughter and Chloe slid into the living room, both of them looking like cartoons as their arms windmilled to keep them from falling once they stumbled upon the sight of me.

The other two cats didn’t so much as blink.

Chloe covered her mouth with her hands, eyes flicking from my shoulder, to my lap, to my feet, and then back to my flat gaze.

And Ava was silent for one long pause before she burst into laughter.

It fizzled out of her at first, like she was trying with all her might to fight it. But when it came, it was as if it was a laugh that had been held captive for years, like it was breaking free.

My daughter’s face turned beet red as she gave into it, her eyes watering, and she pointed at the cats on me before dramatically flopping onto the other end of the sectional and down to the floor.

Chef Patel ran in like the living room was on fire, and when she realized it was Ava laughing, her eyes softened, hands covering her heart like she’d just seen a barrel of puppies. She looked from Chloe to Ava to me, and though she didn’t say a word, I could hear her loud and clear.

At least, until my daughter managed to speak through her fit of giggles.

“Daddy’s covered in assholes!”

“Language,” I warned, but my attempt at sounding serious was thwarted by the upturn of my lips.