Page 144 of Learn Your Lesson

I knew it before I even admitted it silently to myself, and yet the thought hit me like a train. I stopped pedaling, hanging my arms on the bars and resting my head between them in defeat.

I fuckinglovedher.

I loved her positivity, her light, her humor. I loved how strong and independent she was, how she’d created a life on her own without needing attention or validation from anyone else. I loved that she knew herself so fully, that she was so unapologetic in her hobbies, her philosophies,her way of life.

I loved the way she loved my daughter.

I loved how she’d brought the sunshine into our lives, how she’d made that giant house a home.

I loved the way she laughed, the way she found a way to makemelaugh again. I loved her crazy midnight existential crises and her asshole cats.

I loved how she knew what I needed before I ever had to say it, and how she let me in when everything inside her said she shouldn’t.

I’d taken that trust for granted this morning.

I should have saidsomething, but I’d clammed all the way up.

And now, as the hours ticked by, it felt like it was too late to fix it.

Once again, I was frozen, a prisoner of my own stupidity.

The gym door opened without a sound, the only cue a brush of cold air drafting across my heated skin. I dragged myself to sit upright, mopping my face with a towel before I looked over my shoulder.

Aleks Suter looked grumpier than me when he sauntered in, his brows furrowed, teeth practically bared as he slung his bag into a corner. As the final push before playoffs did to all of us, he was thinner than when the season started, his muscles more pronounced from days and days of skating nonstop.

He walked over to me without a greeting, standing directly in front of my bike and folding his arms over his chest.

“Listen to me, and listen to me well,” he said, not giving me a chance to tell him to fuck off before he kept on, his voice growing louder. “I understand you’re usually the one who whips guys into shape around here. I saw it whenI first joined the team and for many months after. I know when someone is distracted, you call them back to the task at hand. I know when someone is having issues off the ice, you’re the one who talks them through it until there’s a solution that doesn’t impact the team in a negative way. I know you’re a leader. But right now, you’re falling apart. You’re held together by a single thread. I don’t know who else sees it, but I sure as shit do, and we’re going to squash whatever is going on right the fuck now. You’re not leaving this room until you talk it out. Because we have eight games left before the playoffs, Perry, and I’ll be damned if I let you ruin my shot at the Cup after all I’ve been through to get to this point.”

I blinked, both unamused and impressed by his outburst. “You finished?”

“Yep. Your turn.” He hopped up in the bike seat next to me, leaning his back against the handlebars and waiting.

For a long moment, I just glared at him. Who the fuck did he think he was, coming in here and demandingshitfrom me? He was a punk, one who had been a real pain in my ass since he first arrived. Even now, he was stirring up media bullshit in a time when our team needed to focus.

And what did he mean after everythinghe’dbeen through?

Smoke came out of my ears as I tried to figure it out. I knew he’d had a rough go on the team he was with before, but it washisfault. And likely, the reason they’d choked in the playoffs three years in a row was because he was too busy being a sideshow to be there for his team.

Or maybe I was seeing it wrong.

Maybe there was more to it.

“What do you mean,after all you’ve been through?”

“Nope,” he said instantly. “Not about me. This is about you.”

I flattened my lips. “I’m fine. Working through some personal things.”

“Great. I’m all ears.”

He kicked back even more, crossing his arms again.

The bastard.

Sweat came faster than I could wipe it away, and I knew I’d pushed too hard. I’d pay for this in the game tomorrow. I needed an ice bath and some soft tissue work at the very least.

“I don’t have all day,” Aleks prompted when I took a while to speak.