Page 42 of Learn Your Lesson

But all those truths didn’t stop my prideful ass from asking,“And why is that?”

“You’re unattainable,” she said, matter-of-factly. “Your focus is your daughter and your career. Which is admirable,” she added quickly, as if she saw the hurt I was masking with a scowl. “But… if you’re not on the market, then you don’t count. And trust me when I say that most of the men whoareon the market are… well…”

She didn’t finish the sentence, and she didn’t need to. I had enough rowdy teammates and memories from college to put the pieces together.

“I take it you haven’t had anyone sweep you off your feet, then?” I surmised.

She snorted. “One night with my head hanging off the bed and a Chingy song blasting in my ear was enough for me to realize the only sweeping that would be happening in my life would be me dusting away all my romantic fantasies.”

I was as confused as I was intrigued by her comment, but a timer went off on her phone, and she hopped up from her spot on the couch.

“Gotta wash this off,” she explained, motioning to the avocado-colored shit on her face. “Enjoy your show. See you in the morning.”

“Goodnight,” I managed, though my mind was racing now, and I wanted to follow her out to the pool house and question her about everything she’d just said.

Head hanging off the bed… was she referring to her first time having sex?

What the fuck was a Chingy?

And what romantic fantasies did she have… because there was a very animalistic part of me that very much wanted to fulfill them.

But the moment she disappeared out of the sliding glass door, the spell was broken, and it felt like a thousand hands were smacking me upside the head.

Get your shit together, Perry.

Chloe was the first nanny I’d had who checked every fucking box. She was fantastic with Ava, and Ava clearly adored her. Hell, my kid hadsmiledall night tonight.

Wasn’t it usuallymebitching if the nanny came onto me? That was almost always my cue to kick them to the curb.

Now, here Chloe was, completely dedicated to the job and so at home already that she sat next to me in a face mask and the most god-awful pajamas I’d ever seen in my life, and yet somehow, she had me wanting to break my own rules.

It was dangerous, not just because it would put a good thing with Ava at risk, but because I was in no position to be anythingnearwhat Chloe deserved. That part of me that could be a good man to her, or anyone, had been broken a long time ago.

It died along with my wife, with the woman who had been my best friend.

And that was what messed me up most. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt like this, that I’d been so overcome with the desire to touch a woman, to hold her, to…

Fuck.

I growled in frustration, flipping the TV off and storming back to my room.

Clearly, I needed to release some tension.

And I one-hundred percent would not do so while thinking about Chloe Knott.

Or so I told myself.

But the moment I was alone, my pants around my ankles and my throbbing cock in my fist, I pumped myself long and slow until the tension coiled inside me ripped through like an electric current.

And I pictured a copper-haired beauty with the curves of Aphrodite on her knees for me, those warm brown eyes watching as I pumped out every last drop on her chest.

Positive Reinforcement

Will

Somewhat successfully, I managed to snuff out my improper thoughts of Chloe over the next few days.

After I fucked my hand to the thought of her, I’d slept — and woken up absolutely pissed at myself. I felt a whole lot more shame in the bright light of day, and other than having breakfast with her and Ava before the morning skate, I steered clear of my nanny.