Page 34

Lily

I ’m nervous for him to see my apartment, but I don’t know why. It’s the first time I’ve invited a guy back to my place, but Luka isn’t just any guy . He’s the man who has very quickly stolen my heart.

Luka spent the entire dinner with his friends, and mine almost solely focused on me. He constantly touched me in different ways. A well-placed hand on my thigh, his arm resting on the back of my chair, or absently playing with my hair as he talked to Rowan, Nash, or Beau. Whatever he was doing, he made sure he always had some part of him touching some part of me.

Sometimes he just flat-out ignored everyone at the table to talk to me only, which I told him was rude. He just laughed and said he didn’t care enough to stop because he’d missed me too much to bother talking to anyone else.

I kind of swooned.

It’s sweet and hot—it’s all the things you dream of when you fall for someone, and falling for him is exactly what I think I’m doing. Heck, maybe I’ve already dove off that cliff.

I watch as he walks around my quaint apartment. He stops in front of a charcoal sketch of me that was drawn by one of the most talented artists I know: his sister.

He finally turns to look at me. “She has so much skill. I don’t know why she wants to waste it by selling clothes.”

I shrug one shoulder. “I don’t think she’s wasting her talent by wanting to design one-of-a-kind pieces or by having her own clothing line. ”

He frowns and turns back toward the sketch. I look at it once again, this time with fresh eyes. It’s breathtaking. Exquisite. Two words I wouldn’t use to describe myself, but that’s how good Stella is. She made a plain, nerdy girl look mysterious and sexy, even alluring.

When she gave it to me, I was shocked that my friend could create something so beautiful. I didn’t even feel strange that the piece was of me because I didn’t even see me in it—not really. Because I was so in awe of her, all I saw was talent and skill. After that, I hung it in my living room for everyone who came to visit me to see.

It’s not that there are a lot of people. Stella, Tessa, and my parents have come to visit once in a rare blue moon, and now Luka.

“Her sketch doesn’t do you justice,” he finally says.

I snort in disbelief and then laugh when I realize I’ve snorted in front of him… again .

He turns with the most gorgeous smile on his face.

I stare into his intense gray eyes. “Why do I keep doing that?”

“I think it’s cute.”

I roll my eyes. “I think it’s dorky. And you’re right. Stella did a beautiful sketch, but it doesn’t look anything like me.”

He moves closer but is still across the living room from me. I itch to go to him, but the intensity of his stare has my feet frozen in place.

“How so?” he asks, seemingly perplexed about why I would say that.

I look off to the side in embarrassment. “She made me look alluring, maybe even a little sexy.” I awkwardly laugh, then clear my throat, internally kicking myself that I said something to begin with. “The girl in the sketch could have any guy she wanted.” When he says nothing, I add, “That isn’t me. It doesn’t look anything like me.”

He continues to stare, both of us immobile. “Do you think you aren’t sexy, Lily?” He says my name on a growl, making little bumps rise along my arms.

“I… I…” I swallow hard. “Not really? Cute, maybe. Pretty, on a good day. Sexy? No.”

He shakes his head as he comes closer, but it still isn’t close enough for us to touch. “Cute is a word you use to describe your favorite pet. It’s wholly underwhelming. Pretty is closer, but still not enough.” He holds my stare as he continues. His eyes draw me in and take me captive like they always do. The goosebumps on my arms now spread across my body.

“Stunning, divine, bewitching, irresistible. Those words are better but still feel lacking.”

I shake my head in disagreement, but he nods as he continues. “Ravishing, heavenly, and beguiling are closer, but still, there’s nothing I can come up with that describes you perfectly because you are so much more than that.”

Emotion clogs my throat as he closes the distance between us. He pulls me gently against his chest. I melt into him, sighing as my chin touches his toned pecs. Being in his arms is a feeling I have a hard time describing because it encompasses so many emotions. First, it’s elation, then it’s a sense of warmth and comfort. Then, a calmness floats over my body before relief finally comes, causing all my muscles to relax and the tension in my body to melt away.

It’s my favorite feeling in the whole wide world . And he’s the only one who can give it to me.

He reaches down, his fingertips grazing the underside of my chin as he gently tilts my head up. He releases my chin as his index finger runs over the apple of my cheek and the bridge of my nose.

“She missed that dusting of freckles across your nose and cheeks and how they look when you scrunch up your nose when you’re concentrating.”

I watch his eyes dilate as he takes his finger and runs it along the scar I have just to the right of my left eye from falling on my bike when I was eight.

“She missed your scar that blends in almost perfectly when you smile or laugh really hard because your eyes crease with joy. Your entire face radiates happiness.”

A tear gathers in said eye as he continues. “She missed how your top lip is plumper than your bottom lip.” He runs his finger across the top of my lip before leaning down and capturing my lips in his. I lean into him, letting him lead.

He pulls back slightly, his lips lingering on mine. “Makes them perfect for kissing. ”

Then he devours me. At least, that’s what it feels like when his lips move with mine. Nothing else exists when my body touches his, when his lips touch mine. The world seems to fade away.

I moan as his hands encircle my waist. My arms go up around his neck, and the next thing I know, he’s hoisting me in the air. I instinctively wrap my legs around his waist and grind as my core tries to find relief from the building tension. All the while, he continues to kiss me unabashed.

Luka breaks the kiss and holds my gaze. He searches my eyes before inhaling deeply. He briefly closes his, and when he reopens them, the sincerity in them makes me melt into him even more.

“You are everything I never knew I wanted and so much more than I deserve.”

His words cause a lone tear to escape and slide down my cheek because it feels like he pulled my exact thoughts from my heart and spoke them into existence. He is my everything and more than I deserve.

And I still haven’t told him the truth.

He walks over to my couch and slowly lowers me until my bottom hits the cushion. He reaches out and uses his thumb to wipe my tear away. I smile as I pull him down with me.

I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to tell him that I’m approaching death’s door, and that, somehow, he’s involved. I can’t make myself say the words as he sits down next to me and pulls me into his lap with ease.

“What are you thinking about?” he asks.

Here’s your chance, Lily . Tell him .

The command in my head has my lips slamming shut in defiance. I don’t want to tell him because I don’t know how he’ll react. Will he be mad that I’ve kept it from him for this long? Will he understand? Will he be repulsed because he’s practically dating a dead girl walking? Or will he think that whatever this is between us isn’t real?

That last one is my biggest fear. What if he thinks I pursued him solely because of my dream? I’ll be devastated if he doesn’t believe this is real for me, and that my dream has nothing to do with my feelings for him .

Asking someone to believe in the existence of omens or premonitions is a big freaking ask. I don’t have a clue how to explain it without sounding crazy.

“Can I tell you the truth without you asking why?” I don’t want to lie to him, but right now, I can’t risk him walking away. I want him too much to lay myself completely bare in front of him and chance losing him.

It’s selfish and wrong, but I’m willing to beg for forgiveness.

Later .

His head tilts, and his mouth thins in concern. “Is that my only option?”

I nod and wait.

He thinks for a few seconds before he nods in return, silently agreeing.

“I’m thinking about all the reasons why this won’t work. Why we shouldn’t do this.” I close my eyes as I say the next part because I can’t stand the look of shock I see on his face. “But I find myself not caring.”

My eyes open after the room is eerily quiet for too long. His thighs are tense. His mouth opens like he wants to argue, but then it slams closed. When it opens again, his words are low but fierce.

“I made you a promise, and I won’t break it by asking, but let me make myself clear. I intend to prove you wrong. You’re meant to be mine. ”

I have no doubt that I am.

The question is, for how long ?