Page 27

Lily

W hat is he doing here?

I have asked myself that same question at least a thousand times throughout dinner, and now, as we sit on the porch swing, watching the sun set over the horizon.

“Why are you here? I know you said you wanted to see me, but that doesn’t make sense. Why?” I blurt out.

“Is it impossible to believe I came here to see you because I wanted to?” he asks simply.

“Well, honestly, I didn’t think we had that type of relationship. I mean, not that we are anything more than acquaintances.”

I feel flustered and off-kilter. His presence does that to me. If it’s over the phone or text message, I seem to have all the confidence in the world, but put the pretty boy down in front of me, and I lose all composure.

He stiffens when I say the word acquaintances. “I thought we were past that,” he says solemnly.

My eyebrows knit together as I look toward the horizon. “Honestly, I don’t know what we are. I thought we were… I don’t know, at least friends, and then you went and took that back. Now you want to play nice again. Luka, what am I supposed to think? ”

He leans forward on the swing, rocking us both gently before his feet land solidly on the porch, halting our motion. He places his elbows on his knees, his hands drawn together under his chin.

“I’m sorry.” He gulps before continuing. His back is relaxed, but he seems anything but. “I know that wasn’t fair or right. I thought I was doing the right thing by pulling back and putting some distance between us. Lily, I need you to understand that all I have ever wanted in my life was to play hockey and win a college championship. Hopefully, get drafted into the NHL.”

“I know that, Luka. I want that for you, too. You deserve it. You’ve worked so hard in order to achieve that.”

He sighs and closes his eyes. “I didn’t think I could have both.”

“Both what?” I’m so confused. I want to reach out and wrap my arms around him. However, I’m afraid that if I do, he’ll stop talking, and I want his answers more than anything. I want to understand why.

“Hockey… and you …” He finally looks up and turns so his body faces mine. All I see is honesty and vulnerability in his eyes.

“ Me ?” I ask, dumbfounded.

He smiles and reaches to pull my hand into his lap. “Yes. You .”

I tilt my head like a confused dog, shock still running through my system. I couldn’t lie and say I haven’t had dreams about a moment like this with him. A moment where the hot, sweet, kind, caring, and smart star hockey player of the King of Harts professed his undying love for me, but that doesn’t mean I actually thought the dream would come true.

Girl, hush and enjoy the moment!

The sweetest, most boyish smile covers his face. “Will you be mine, Lily McKenna?”

I smirk, only barely holding back a full-blown smile. “I told you not to go and fall in love with me, Luka Russo.”

He throws his head back, and a deep, throaty laugh that sends goosebumps scattering up my arms fills the quiet night air. “I guess that was a promise meant to be broken, pumpkin.”

I scrunch my nose at the use of the horrid nickname. “No pumpkin. ”

He laughs again. “No? I thought it was kind of cute.”

“No way, no how.”

“What about princess?” he asks as he leans back on the swing, pulling me to his side.

I go willingly, taking the opportunity to snuggle with the man of my dreams.

Literally and figuratively.

I smile wide as his words slowly sink in. He wants me to be his girlfriend! I internally celebrate like a kid on the playground who just got handed her favorite ice cream and told she can play as long as she wants.

“Baby?” he asks.

“Ah, it’s not very original.”

“You didn’t seem to mind last night.” He smirks.

I almost choke on my own saliva at the reminder of what we did last night on the roof right above us. “You aren’t wrong,” I finally say.

He laughs. “Regardless, I agree. You deserve something unique and more you. I’ll keep working on it.”

“You don’t have to. I don’t need a nickname.”

He picks me up so easily, maneuvering me as though I don’t weigh more than a feather. When we finally land, I’m straddling his lap. All I can concentrate on is his beautiful gray eyes. I’ve seen them countless times, but this time is different. This time, the air is charged. It’s so electric that it feels like we’re sitting on a live wire. His eyes draw me in and hold me captive.

He reaches up and pushes my hair behind my ear, then his hand cradles the back of my neck, holding me in place. His other hand clamps down on my hip, and I have to stop myself from groaning. It feels so freaking good to be surrounded by this man. His scent engulfs me, his eyes entrap me, and his body holds me tight.

“Can I kiss you, sweetheart?”

My nose scrunches once again.

He laughs as he leans forward to touch his nose to mine. “Not that one either, huh?”

I shake my head. “But I do like the idea of that kiss… ”

He doesn’t hesitate to lean forward and capture my lips with his. It’s slow at first as we both explore each other for the first time. My body feels like it’s melting into his as I lean into his touch.

His tongue gently presses against mine. I immediately open to allow him to explore my mouth. I clutch his shirt between my fingers as I work to not roll my hips to grind myself against his growing erection.

All I want is to alleviate this pressure already building in my core as he continues to explore my mouth. Just as I lose the battle to keep my hips still, he clamps down harder on my hip, halting any progress I made with my movements. I don’t fight him on it because this is the best kiss of my life.

His hand tightens in my hair, tilting my head up slightly and elongating my neck. I feel exposed in the best possible way. Completely at this man’s mercy and here for every minute of it.

The kiss feels like it lasts forever, but he never takes it any further than his lips on mine. It feels like he worships me and wants to savor the moment for what it is.

Our first kiss .

He finally pulls away, leaving both of us breathless. The soft glow of the sun dims as we watch the sunset fall beneath the horizon. I stay in his lap as we watch the endless farmland go from blanketed in the sun to illuminated by the starry night.

It’s the best feeling in the world. One that I want to experience over and over again.

He finally breaks the silence. “So, what do you say? Will you be my girlfriend?”

I shrug a shoulder. “I guess I can upgrade you from acquaintance.”

He tilts his head back and lets out a long sigh. “Fucking finally. I thought I was going to be stuck there forever.”

I giggle. “Don’t get too far ahead of yourself. This only takes you to, like, tier two, tops.”

He fakes outrage. “That’s it? You make out with a tier two friend?”

“You think you’re ride-or-die material?” I ask playfully as I gently run my hands through the long strands of ebony hair at the back of his neck .

“Oh, most definitely. You need that body buried? I’ll bring the shovel.”

I laugh, but the serious expression on his face has the sound halting.

“I’m dead ass serious. Lily, this isn’t casual for me. I know we have some work to do before you can trust me, but I’m willing and ready to put the work in. I want to be your ride-or-die, your top tier. Make no mistake. From here on, those are my intentions. Are you okay with that?”

My mind literally blanks and then shoots into overdrive. Am I okay with that? I want to scream yes! Unfortunately, I also have concerns and questions. Firstly, Luka is one of the most popular guys at school. He can have any girl he wants. Why me?

Why not you? You’re smart, funny, beautiful, and pretty cool.

I almost roll my eyes at myself.

Secondly, his focus still hasn’t changed. Hockey is still the most important thing to him. I understand it and don’t fault him for having goals in life, but he said he didn’t think he could do both, so what has changed?

Lastly and most importantly, I still haven’t figured out how he plays into my dream and what that means for me. I am hopelessly drawn to this man. Every cell in my body craves to be near him, but is that a good thing? Can I be with him and not become distracted from finding a way to dispel my dream? Should I tell him about my dream?

Those questions swirl in my mind. I want to give in to my heart and push all the fears and doubts I have to the side, but I don’t know if I can. Finding out about the registry book from my grandmother was a major revelation. One that may help me find the answers I need. Can I afford to be distracted, or is Luka meant to be a part of my story? Can I trust him enough to tell him?

Follow your heart, Lily, and everything will work out the way it’s meant to.

I tilt my head to the side as I take in the words just softly spoken in my head. I take in the man sitting in front of me, and my heart rate starts to slow. The chaos in my brain starts to quiet.

“You look deep in thought. Tell me what you’re thinking,” Luka says quietly as he reaches up to smooth the pinched skin in between my eyebrows .

My decision was already made before today. I know I want to be with him, but I need him to be sure. I don’t want him to regret this, regret us . And I need my questions answered before I can fully let go.

“What about hockey?” I ask, worried I’ll be a distraction for him. I don’t want that. I want him to achieve all his goals and more.

He shakes his head. “I’m not worried about it anymore.”

I pause, my eyes searching his. “How can you say that?”

“Because I was distracted every time we spoke. You were all I could think about, so I stopped getting closer. Tried to make it all about the tutoring, but it didn’t work because I was even more distracted when you were mad at me or when we were apart. I would rather have you and be distracted than not have you.”

“Luka, this is what you have worked your entire life for. We can wait.” I feel so strongly for this man that I would wait for him to finish his season.

He shakes his head before I’m even fully finished speaking. His expression is passionate, almost upset. “I don’t want to wait just because of hockey. I can’t wait. Lily, even when I’m not around you, I think about you. I can’t explain it. All I know is that I feel peace, warmth, and happiness when I’m around you. It’s like my whole body can relax when you’re by my side. I don’t want to miss out on that feeling any longer than I already have.”

I know exactly what he means because it’s exactly what I feel, too.

“It’s like there is an invisible tether between us. It starts in the middle of my chest and constantly pulls me toward you, where the tether leads straight to your heart. I try to ignore it, but the tug only becomes stronger the longer I don’t listen. That’s what brought me here to you. I couldn’t ignore it any longer,” he says.

I reach out and put my palm on his chest, and he covers my hand with his. “Yes,” I whisper.

“Yes?”

“Yes, let’s give it a try.” I smile. “Oh, and I definitely don’t think sweetheart is it either.”

We laugh as he pulls me into his chest. “No, it doesn’t suit you. I’ll keep trying.”

I smile again because I’m the happiest I’ve been in a long time. The fear of my dream coming true is a distant worry at this moment .

“Can I take you on a date?” he asks.

My grin spreads across my face. “When?”

“Tomorrow.”

I think about how I wanted to spend the day trying to find more information on Emily, but I don’t want to say no. I want to go out with him—almost more than I want to do my research. I can and will make time to do both.

“Sure.”

He smiles as he leans forward and gives me a soft kiss on the lips before pulling back all too quickly. His palms slide around to my ass cheeks, squeezing softly before lifting me up and gently placing me back on the swing beside him.

“I should get going,” he says softly.

I pull my bottom lip into my mouth as I nod. I don’t want him to go, but I also know it’s getting late, and it’s a miracle that my grandmother hasn’t come out here to check on us yet. Though she did shoo us out of the kitchen after dinner and told us to keep it rated PG-13 since some of her neighbors could see us out here on the porch if we did anything more than that.

I giggle a little at the memory.

“What are you over there giggling about?”

“My grandmother telling us to keep it PG-13.”

He throws his head back, and a deep, husky laugh leaves his mouth, his Adam’s apple bobbing with the movement. “Yeah, she shocked the shit out of me. I really like her, though. She isn’t what I expected, but she also reminds me of you in so many ways.”

His legs are relaxed, spread wide, and he pushes us gently in the warm, early fall breeze. His arm is slung up on the back of the swing behind me. His fingers absently play with my hair, and he looks at me just as intently as I look at him.

He’s so freaking handsome, and he wants to be my boyfriend . It feels so surreal. I reach over with my right hand and pinch the underside of my left forearm.

“Did you just pinch yourself?”

I blush from getting caught. “Maybe.” He reaches over and rubs the spot I just pinched to soothe the burn on my skin. I watch him silently for a few moments. “Is this real? ”

“As real as it gets.”

His answer is simple, but it hits me squarely in the chest at the profoundness. I tear up. He doesn’t even know how true his statement is. How deep the connection between us goes, and for the first time, I feel guilty for not telling him.

“Are you okay?” he asks as his index finger glides across my cheek. I lean into his touch. That simple gesture brings comfort and turmoil in one swift motion.

“I’m just tired.” I smile in an attempt to cover the emotions whirling in my body.

He searches my face. I see concern on his, but he doesn’t call me out on my lie.

“Get some sleep. I’ll pick you up at five tomorrow?”

I wrap my hand around his wrist as it rests on my shoulder, his finger lingering on my cheek. “Sounds good.”

He leans in for one more kiss, and this time, he savors the moment. He slowly explores without taking it too far, and it’s the sweetest kiss of my life. When he finally pulls away, my heart stutters from the loss.

“Sweet dreams.”

“Sleep tight, Luka.”

Somehow, Luka has become a source of comfort, providing peace and reprieve from a dream that now haunts me while I’m awake. I suspect I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to keep that peace or die trying.