Page 16

Luka

“ W hat the hell was that?!” Stella hisses as she follows me into my apartment. Rowan quietly chuckles behind her as he closes our door. I’m hell-bent on ignoring her as I place my keys on the kitchen island.

“Seriously, Luka! If you’ve screwed up and hurt my best friend, I’ll never forgive you!”

A sharp stab pierces my heart because even though my intention was never to hurt Lily, I think that’s exactly what I’ve done. The hurt in her eyes when she said don’t wasn’t something I was prepared for, and neither was the soaring disappointment I felt in myself for causing her pain.

“I didn’t mean to,” I whisper.

Stella stops in her tracks and stares at me. If her eyes could shoot daggers, I would be a dead man right now.

“What the fuck does that mean?”

I run my hands through my hair in frustration as I sit down on the edge of the couch in the living room that’s just off the kitchen. Stella remains standing, with her hands on her hips and her posture rigid.

Rowan clears his throat, sensing the sudden temperature change in the room that has nothing to do with the thermostat. “I think I’m hitting the sack. Stella, good to see you as always. Luka, let me know if you need anything.”

I nod once and say a quick good night. Stella ignores him altogether, but Rowan doesn’t seem to take offense as he heads down the short hallway to his bedroom .

“Look, I didn’t do anything outright, but I was a dick when I didn’t need to be. I’ll apologize in the morning.”

“Which is it? You didn’t do anything, or you did? Because from where I’m standing, it looks like you did something I explicitly asked you not to do.” Her tone is sharp.

She isn’t holding back tonight as she calls me out on my shit. That’s the thing about being a twin. We always know when the other is lying or holding back. I don’t even know why I tried. It’s never worked before, so why would this time be any different?

“I’m sorry,” is all I can say because I’ve royally fucked myself here.

Lily’s mad at me, Stella’s pissed, and I can’t think straight. I can’t shake the look of utter hurt from Lily earlier tonight. That’s the one that messes with my head the most.

Fuck.

What am I supposed to do? Lily has already proven to be a distraction for me, one I can’t afford. However, I also have an undeniable pull in my chest every time I’m around her to make her mine. When Nash was flirting with her at the restaurant, I about lost my shit. Rationally, I know he didn’t mean anything by it, but that didn’t mean I was okay with him telling her she’s pretty—even if she is and deserves to hear it.

I wanted to be the one to tell her that. She looked gorgeous tonight in an off-the-shoulder tee shirt with ripped jean shorts. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and she had a Hart University hat on. It wasn’t a Kings of Hart U hockey hat, though, and I reacted in displeasure for reasons I still can’t figure out. She was smoking hot in an understated way, but it made my heart race and my dick twitch.

“Whatever it is, you need to fix it.” She gives me a long, pointed look before turning and walking to the front door. She opens it and turns back to look at me. “You are better than whatever games you are playing right now, and she deserves better.” At those parting words, Stella slams the door behind her.

And fuck if that isn’t the truth.

If only it were that simple.

“No! No! No! Russo, get your head out of your ass! Do it again and actually do it fucking right this time!” Coach screams from across the rink.

Fuck me .

Rowan circles the ice and comes to a stop right in front of me. “I thought we already had this conversation.”

We did. That fact only serves to aggravate me more. I thought shutting her out was the answer to how unfocused I’d become, but I was dead fucking wrong. I’m playing like shit right now.

“Shut up, man,” I grumble.

“Oh, don’t get your panties in a twist. Tell me what you need to fix it so we can all go home. I’m beat, brother, and Coach won’t stop running drills until his star player gets his shit together.”

I groan because I know he’s right. We have an exhibition game in less than a week, and then our season starts. This game coming up might not count for the record, but it can damn sure be a precursor for the season. It’s important to do well. I want to do well.

I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me. I should be playing at my best right now. There are no distractions. My grades are coming up, and this is the best the team has played since I’ve been at Hart University.

Well, aside from my bullshit performance right now.

All of that should mean this is the year for us to take it all the way. So why can’t I shake whatever this is? Nothing feels right or natural today. It all feels off .

“Don’t you think I would’ve already done that by now if I knew what the problem was?” I spew.

Rowan shoves me in the shoulder, knocking me back because I wasn’t prepared for the blow. “What the fu— ”

“You aren’t that damn dense, Russo. You know exactly what the fucking problem is, and you’re ignoring it. You’re acting like I wasn’t there last night to hear you get your ass chewed out by your sister. Which, by the way, remind me to never get on her bad side.”

I growl, shoving him back off me. Fuck this and fuck him. I don’t want to hear it. I need to shut out all the noise and do what I do best. Play hockey.

I did what I thought was best, and now I have to live with the consequences. Period.

Rowan laughs, but it’s devoid of humor. “You know you don’t have to choose, right? You can have both, Luka. You’ve just never tried.”

I struggle to push away everything he’s saying because none of that matters right now. I line up to run the drill I’ve run a million times before and never missed. I push out the intrusive thoughts bombarding me, all of them surrounding the beautiful and intelligent Lily McKenna.

I close my eyes, take a deep breath, then blow it out, letting all the shit running wild in my head go.

I pull my twig back and swing, letting my senses and body take over. I can’t hear the other guys on the ice or the distinct sound the ice makes when our skates claw into it. I can only hear my breath and feel the steady beat of my heart.

I open my eyes just as the puck sails into the net just to the left of Nash.

Fuck yeah.

Coach blows the whistle. “That’s it for tonight,” he calls out, effectively ending practice.

I guess I finally made a shot worthy enough to end our torture. Coach turns and heads off to his office, leaving the rest of us to make our way to the locker room.

I skate over to Rowan, lifting my helmet off my head. “See. Nothing to worry about.”

He smirks and then shrugs. “Maybe.”

“Maybe? Maybe! Did you see that shot? It was fucking glorious.”

Rowan laughs. “Yeah, yeah. Russo the hockey God is back in all his glory.”

I bristle. “Damn straight. I’m not letting anything get in my way this year, especially a girl. ”

Something about Rowan’s smile feels off, but I don’t linger on why because all I can think about is how perfect that shot was.

“We’ll see about that,” Rowan mumbles as he turns to skate in.

My eyebrows pull together as I skate after him.

“I’m serious, man. I can’t afford any distractions, and it isn’t like Lily is my type anyway.”

I don’t know why I said the last part because I know it isn’t true. Lily may be different from girls I’ve dated in the past, but there is no shortage of attraction on my part.

She’s a walking wet dream.

“Whatever you need to tell yourself,” he hums.

I grumble. “I don’t like her like that.”

“ Riiight .”

“It’s true! She’s nerdy, a little quirky, a bit awkward at times, and definitely weird with social events. She’s… She’s... I mean, she’s Lily, for goodness sake!”

“Yeah, Lily, who also happens to be smart, funny, sweet, kind… beautiful .”

Beautiful? What the fuck? Why is he listing off all the things he likes about Lily?

He smiles like the cat that ate the canary when he sees my anger. “You know, come to think about it. Since you don’t like her and all, I think maybe I should ask her out.”

I see red. I reach out and grab the collar of his jersey, pulling him toward me with such speed and force that he doesn’t have time to react. I turn and slam him against the board before shoving my forearm against his throat.

“The fuck you will.”

Rowan doesn’t fight back. Instead, he leans forward to put his face only inches from mine. “Why do you care? She’s just a girl , right? She’s just Lily. Dorky, quirky, awkward Lily. She isn’t your type at all, right?”

She’s not “ just” any of those things, but I don’t say that out loud because I can’t . I won’t . I refuse to give a voice to the feelings swirling in my gut and chest for the one girl I can’t seem to stop thinking about. I can’t afford to.

I give him a long, hard look as I shove my forearm further forward, putting more pressure on his neck before suddenly releasing him. He doesn’t make a move to retaliate. He simply leans down to grab the stick he dropped when I slammed him against the board and skates past me without a word.

I place my gloved hands on my hips and lean my head forward, thanking my lucky stars Coach wasn’t here to witness me almost beating the team captain and my best friend to a pulp. Because that was exactly what I wanted to do, and that doesn’t bode well for me.

What the hell was I thinking? Oh, that’s right, I wasn’t.

As soon as the words left his mouth, I couldn’t see straight, couldn’t think about anything else except the fact that my best friend wanted to ask out Lily.

My Lily.

My Lily?

Fuck me. I’m screwed .