Page 26 of It's Not PMS, It's You

Some are legitimate questions.

Some are tricks.

To this day, most men haven’t figured out which is which. It’s like playing a game of Russian Roulette when answering, only there is a bullet in every chamber.

No matter how you answered the question, you lost.

As I see it, the man always has three options:

* Avoid answering the question and run far away, as fast as possible.

* Answer the question honestly and hope that was actually what she wanted.

* Lie.

Obviously, this scenario doesn’t apply to all questions from females, but here is the shortlist of questions that have proven to be troublesome for men:

* Does this make me look fat?

* Do you think that woman over there is pretty?

* What are you thinking?

* Do you notice anything different about me?

* I know we had plans, but would you be mad if I went out with my girlfriends tonight?

I have to admit that the question, “Did you see anything you weren’t supposed to see?” was a tricky one and I was on the fence as to which way to answer.

Ruth was glaring at me. I needed to quit stalling.

I opted to tell a lie. “I didn’t see anything at all.”

Except those gorgeous legs and cute pink-laced panties.

She stared at me.

This is another problem.

When they don’t believe you.

Women are such wise creatures that they can get a man to admit to just about anything, even something they didn’t do.

Ruth seemed to be an expert in this category because I was beginning to cave.

Oh, hell.

I decided to give in. “Okay, I saw something, but it happened so fast that I already forgot what I saw.”

This is yet another problem guys have. Someone like me who is not used to lying will always look like he’s lying when he gives it a shot. And that will lead to saying the most idiotic things.

Change the subject again. Now!

I gestured to the french doors. “What do you think?”

She nodded. “I like them. A lot.”

Great! Now we were getting somewhere.