Page 63 of Infatuated as They Come (Sinful Trilogy #2)
Holly
I was just about to carefully slide the glass flower into its vase when I heard a knock on the door. Slowly setting the vase down on the coffee table, I gave it a final once over as I crossed over to the door. I really couldn’t get enough of staring at it.
I didn’t even look through the peep hole as I pulled open the door, my hand clenching at the handle a tiny bit when I saw that it was my dad standing there.
He looked casual today in a navy green cable knit sweater and some blue jeans, his eyes softening as he gave me a little smile that seemed unsure.
“Hi, sweetheart,” he said quietly.
“I guess Mom told you about the exhibition then,” I said, my voice just as small.
“Yes, she told me. She’s very excited about it, actually.”
I looked past his shoulder, spotting nothing but the empty hallway. “Where is she?”
“She’s at the hotel. We’re staying at the Four Seasons. We came down a bit early. Figured we’d spend some time in the city since it’s been so long. She…” He paused, dragging in a long breath. “She wanted us to talk.”
Still holding the door handle tight, I gave him a stiff nod. “Right. Maybe I’ll go see her later.”
His head tilted, that vulnerable look in his eyes fading into one that screamed hurt. “Holly, this is the longest we’ve ever gone without speaking to each other.”
“Yes, I know.”
“The last time you took a break from speaking to me you were nine and wanted to change schools,” he said. “That only lasted a few days, and it was still pretty painful. This hurts a lot more…”
“I’m not exactly having a fun time not speaking to you,” I mumbled before stepping to the side. “Come in.”
No hug, no kiss to the forehead. It was awkward and uncomfortable as he stepped inside mine and Sawyer’s apartment for the first time ever, standing there in the middle of the living room like he was looking for permission to make his next move.
“You can sit, you know?” I asked.
He did so, taking a seat in front of the coffee table, his gaze landing on the glass flower in the vase. “That’s nice. Where’d you get it?”
I could have laughed. “Sawyer made it for me.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Oh.”
“There were more, but…”
“… Oh.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “One survived. It’s beautiful, right? And special and thoughtful and sweet, just like everything he gives me.”
Eyes on me, he patted the spot on the couch next to him. “Please sit with me. You’re looking at me like you don’t even want me in the same room as you.”
Arms still crossed, I did as he asked, not really sure what else to do. We both sat there in silence, the quietness painful and uncomfortable, and part of me wished Mom had come along as well, but I understood why she had done what she did.
My breath caught in my throat when he suddenly reached forward and pulled the flower out of the vase.
“Please be careful with it,” I said, caution drenched in my voice. “He worked so hard on it.”
He turned to face me, brows furrowed. “I was just looking at it. I won’t break it. It’s… nice. It’s very nice, Holly. You’re right. He got you so mething special.” His thumb ran along the stem before he slowly slid it back into the vase. “How many more were there?”
“Four.”
His throat cleared as he nodded. “I’m sorry, Holly.”
“You should be saying sorry to him,” I said bitterly. “He’s at work right now in case you were wondering. He’ll be there tomorrow and the next day too. That’s pretty much where he’s always been since we moved here. You think he can’t take care of me, but he puts me first every single time.”
“If he was here, I would say sorry to him too,” he said with a whisper.
Turning to face him, I eyed him closely. “I’d have to see it to believe it.”
“I understand. I don’t exactly have a good track record when it comes to him. I haven’t been the person you need me to be. The person I should be.”
“What kind of person is that?”
“Not so harsh and judgmental. Not so quick to judge. It’s something I know I need to stop, it’s just that your boyfriend is very good at bringing out that side of me.”
My eyes narrowed. “It’s not his fault you are the way you are.”
“I didn’t mean it like that,” he said, hurt flashing across his face. “Holly, please, we can’t keep doing this. We can’t keep fighting.”
“Do you think I’ve been happy with the way we left things?
What did you think I’d do? It’s just…” My hands gripped the edge of the couch as I looked at him, giving him a weak shrug, because I was so tired of the same old fight.
“Look, I don’t even know why you get so worked up about it.
About money. It doesn’t make sense to me.
It never even crosses my mind, but it’s like the only thing you can think of when you see Sawyer.
You turn into a totally different person when you’re around him. ”
“He brings out a side of me I’m not proud of,” he said before he held his hands up. “I’m not saying it’s his fault. I’m not. I know it’s mine. I’m the problem. I hurt him and I hurt you and it’s wrong. I just… Holly, I never expected you to fall in love with someone so…”
“Poor,” I offered. “He’s poor and it’s okay that he is.
I don’t care about how much money he has and I don’t need him to be anything except who he is.
I love that he’s not like all those boring superficial boys you want me to be with.
He’s better than them in every way. He’s sweet and romantic and caring and loyal and hard working and gentle and I’m the luckiest girl in the world that someone like him is my boyfriend.
That I’m his and he’s mine. I’d be so sad if I had to be anyone else’s… ”
“Well, I don’t want you to be sad,” he said. “I never want you to be sad.”
“You make me sad when you treat him badly.”
“I really thought I was protecting you,” he said. “I’ve been doing it my whole life, but I suppose you don’t need me to do that anymore. You’re all grown up now. I have to accept that. And… I have to accept him. He’s who you want. He’s who you love. And it seems like you love him a lot.”
“With my whole heart,” I said with a sad smile.
“I can’t get in the way of that.”
My fingers toyed with the hem of my dress.
“You can’t be in my life and treat him badly at the same time.
It’s not fair to him. You have to treat him with respect.
You don’t have to be best friends, but you can’t keep hurting him.
You can’t say awful things to him. About money, about you thinking he’s not good enough, about other guys. About his mom .”
Breathing out shakily, he nodded. “You might think that I did what I did that night because I was trying to get him away from you, but I really did think he hurt you, Holly.”
“But when you found out it wasn’t what you thought, you still couldn’t bring yourself to apologize.”
“No, I couldn’t. That was my fault. My mistake. And like I said, if he was here, I’d say this to his face. I suppose I’ll get to talk to him on Friday.”
“He’s the one who asked me to invite you and Mom. He’s the one who encouraged me to talk to you and forgive you. You should be thanking him.”
“I will. On Friday, I will.”
“If you show up and do something to hurt him or ruin his night,” I said, drawing in a shaky breath, “I will absolutely never forgive you. I will never speak to you again. If you think a few weeks is painful…”
“I won’t,” he said, voice low and serious. “That’s his night and I won’t ruin it for him. ”
I nodded, eyes falling to my lap. “I hope not.”
“I’m sorry about everything, Holly. About upsetting and hurting the both of you. About breaking his gift and that necklace. About ruining Christmas for you two—your mother as well. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her so angry.”
“I hope next Christmas will be a lot better,” I said, reaching a hand up to grasp the pendant resting against my chest. “He fixed it for me.”
He smiled, and it looked soft and sincere. “I’m glad it’s fixed. I’m… I’m glad he fixed it. I’m sorry again for breaking it. For everything.”
“It’s up to him if he wants to forgive you,” I said.
“That’s true. But… you love him and he loves you and I should be happy my daughter’s found someone who makes her happy,” he said, slowly moving an arm my way, all cautious and careful like I’d bite and rip a limb off.
But I didn’t move or budge as he looped an arm around me. Instead, I let my head fall to his shoulder.
“I don’t have to worry about him not looking after you,” he continued. “It looks like he knows how to do that. He can take care of my daughter and love her and be good to her, and that’s all that matters, right?”
“Right,” I said softly, eyes closing as I rested there on his shoulder. That was all that mattered.