Page 46 of Infatuated as They Come (Sinful Trilogy #2)

I pushed my hands through my hair the further I moved around the place.

I missed Earl. I missed the washing machines that rattled loudly when you used them and my TV that had a shitty picture.

I missed feeling like I didn’t have to be someone I wasn’t, because while I had been waiting my whole life to get out of this place and find something , it seemed like I wasn’t ready to have whatever that was.

Memories of that fight with Holly before she left hit me. I hated that I had barely seen her since moving to New York, that things were so different, that I had been spending so much of my time busy with work, and just when things got better, I was always at the damn studio.

“Sawyer?” I heard a soft voice say behind me. I turned to see Summer standing there, a yellow tennis racket in hand. She ran up to me, her little arms wrapping around my legs.

“Hey.” I laughed, patting the back of her head. “What are you doing out here by yourself?”

“Me and Caleb were playing tennis.” She took a step back and waved the plastic racket at me. “Mom got us tennis rackets. It’s our early Christmas present. Look!”

She shoved the racket my way and I raised my eyebrows at it. “Impressive. You’re playing with your brother?”

“He lost the ball behind the trees. The ones behind the office.”

“You guys know better than to go back there,” I muttered as I grabbed her hand. The little space near the office was stacked with long, overgrown grass and tall trees and the occasional snake that knew exactly how to sneak up on you. “Let’s go find him before he hurts himself. Where’s your mom?”

She jumped up and down. “Putting stuff in the washing machine.”

“And she probably told you to play near the washing building.”

“We were, but then Mom didn’t have enough change for the washing machine and had to go back home to get some, and then she told us to stay there, and then Caleb hit the ball really far, and then it got lost.”

“I leave for a few months and you guys go galivanting all over the park, huh?” We had made it to that spot near the trees, where the grass was too thick to be running around in it, with nothing but a chipped log to warn people off.

My eyes scanned the area, trying to find that fiery red hair before Caleb ran off too far.

“Caleb? You out here? You know you’re—What the hell?

” Something hard and plastic hit my face, a soft thud in the air as whatever it was fell to my feet.

“Oh, it’s you, Sawyer!” Caleb was running at me, snatching a little ball from the ground. “Are you moving back now?”

“You’re not supposed to play here,” I said, picking him up and putting him on the other side of the log. “Stay on that side. Your mom’s probably freaking out.”

“Are you moving back?” Caleb asked again.

“Did you get tired of New York City?” Summer said, voice all bright and her little hands tugging at the sleeve of my blazer. “Where’s Holly? Is she your wife now?”

“I wish,” I said. That sounded nice. She’d be my wife and I’d be her husband and we’d move somewhere far, far away where money didn’t matter and her dad didn’t hate me and love was more than enough.

“Maybe soon, right?” Summer said, voice hopeful.

“Yeah, maybe,” I murmured. “Soon sounds real nice…”

I guided them over to the washing building, already spotting Lindsey pushing her hands through her red hair. There was a look of defeat on her face and when her eyes found mine, I could literally see her let out a huge sigh of relief.

“You two! Always running off! I turn around for five seconds!” she cried out as she ran over to us. And then she glared at me. “And what are you doing here?”

“I don’t know,” I said, not really sure what the hell I was doing anymore. “Was supposed to go meet my girlfriend and now… I’m here.”

“I see,” she said before looking down at Caleb and Summer. “Thank you for finding these two. They haven’t been able to quit their bad habit of going to places they shouldn’t be going .”

“Oops,” Summer said with a sheepish giggle.

“I guess they learned that from you.” Lindsey crossed her arms over her chest. “Seriously, what are you doing here? You’re all dressed up too.”

“I came here after some… stuff happened,” I muttered. “You think staying in a mansion would be nice, but I promise you it’s not.”

“Can we go see Holly’s mansion?” Summer asked, moving over to her mom and yanking at her shirt. “Can we?”

“It’s not as fun as it sounds,” I warned her.

Lindsey nodded behind her. “Come to mine and we’ll talk. It looks like you need it.”

It was a short walk to Lindsey’s place and my eyes lingered on my old home for a little too long.

There it was. Small and worn out and cramped.

For a long time, it was all I had ever known, and it still felt like right where I belonged.

I could feel and taste relief as I entered Lindsey’s trailer, the small space feeling like heaven after dealing with the high ceilings and big rooms in Holly’s place.

“You two go play,” Lindsey said to the kids, pointing towards the hallway. “No tennis inside, though.” They groaned but ran off down the hallway, leaving me and Lindsey alone. “I didn’t think I’d ever see your face around here again.”

“Is it weird that I miss being here so much?” I asked as I leaned up against the kitchen counter. My eyes scanned the rest of the space: the little TV and the tiny Christmas tree in the corner and the five presents under it.

“Your fancy New York City apartment isn’t doing it for you? We can swap.”

“I love it there. I love living with Holly.”

“But?”

“It’s just that being back at her place hasn’t exactly been fun.

Like I said, staying in a big ass mansion is actually a pretty miserable experience,” I said.

“She really wanted me there for Christmas. It’s our first one together and she just wants it to be special.

And it is. I mean, she’s making it special, and her mom’s been real nice.

She always is. But her dad… He’s never gonna be happy with me being his daughter’s boyfriend. ”

“You probably feel like you’re walking on eggshells over there.”

My brows raised. “Yeah, pretty much. But it’s not just that. There’s been a lot going on these last few months. With me and her and me working too much and me making her feel all alone. She doesn’t deserve to feel that way.”

“Then you really shouldn’t be here with me if you’re meant to be with her. I promise you that’ll make her feel lonelier.”

“I was about to drive over and see her.” My hands scraped over my face, and when I moved them, my eyes found the clock. I’d have to leave soon. “I gotta go to the country club in a minute.”

She snorted. “Country club?”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Look at you. Mansions and country clubs and fancy suits.”

“This is a really cheap suit.”

“I couldn’t tell. When did you become a country club guy?”

“I’m not. But I just wanna take her somewhere special. Somewhere that’s not… you know, cheap.”

She tilted her head at me. “That girl was down here all summer. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t care about cheap.”

“Sometimes I wonder if that’s enough. Maybe she gets tired of doing free stuff, cheap stuff.

Maybe she wants country club dinners and fuckin’, I don’t know…

” I threw a lazy hand up. “Whatever th e hell rich girls do in their spare time. And things in New York… It’s kinda been a mess.

As soon as we got there I just got stuck into work.

Early mornings, late nights. I barely ever saw her.

I hated it. But… I didn’t know what else to do, you know?

That’s what I’m meant to do, right? Look after her.

Make sure she’s safe. And then Christmas had to fuckin’ show up and make it all worse. ”

“Every year like clockwork,” Lindsey said.

“And then I found out she was getting me a bunch of gifts and all I could think about was what the hell I was gonna get her. I mean, she bought me a truck just because she could, and all I got her for her birthday was a necklace that cost a few hundred bucks. What do you get a girl who’s got more money than God?

I thought I’d make her something. She likes handmade stuff.

She told me no one ever gives her stuff like that. ”

“You made her something from scratch? That’s so sweet.”

“I hope she thinks so. I’ve been working on it for the last month.

Took me a few tries to get it just right, and I wanted it to be perfect.

” My hands loosened my tie as I shook my head.

“God, I was at that studio every damn night. Weekends too. She was all alone in that apartment again. I keep fucking up. I keep making mistakes with her.”

“What other mistakes are you making?”

“We had this stupid fuckin’ fight before she left.

She doesn’t even wanna go to the damn country club,” I said, letting out a humorless laugh, my hands pushing through my hair.

“Her dad said all this shit to me and I let him get to me. I keep doing it. I keep messing up. Again and again and again. I love her. I want to spend every single minute with her, but sometimes it’s like I’m in over my head with her.

And every time I feel like I’m doing the right thing, like I’m doing what I’m meant to be doing, I manage to make things worse.

How do I keep doing this? How do I keep making mistake after mistake?

I just want her. I want to make her feel good, make her feel happy, make her smile and laugh.

God, her laugh is my favorite sound in the world.

Shouldn’t I be doing everything I can to hear it all the time? ”

“Whatever he said, you can’t let it get to you,” she said, arms crossed over her chest. “You love her and that’s all that matters. Who cares what he thinks? ”

“He’s real good at getting under my skin,” I said. “Just like Holly used to be. I guess it runs in the family.”

“What did he say to you?”