Page 45 of Infatuated as They Come (Sinful Trilogy #2)

“We do special stuff all the time.” Then she looked down at the floor. “We used to do special stuff all the time…”

I frowned at her. “Used to?”

“I just meant…” She still avoided my eyes. “Nothing. Forget I said it.”

“I know I haven’t been around lately. I’ve been at the studio a lot and I hate every second that I’m not with you, but it’ll be different when we get back home, back to New York,” I said, still rubbing circles against her hands. “I swear it’ll be different when we get back.”

“You deserve to focus on your art and whatever makes you happy,” she said, finally meeting my eyes. “I won’t get in your way.”

I leaned in, pressing my lips to hers slowly. “You make me happy. And that’s why I thought it’d be nice to take you somewhere different. Somewhere special that isn’t… low budget. ”

“You’re using that term again,” she grumbled.

“Please just let me take you out somewhere, Holly. Just let me give you something that’s not… Not…”

“Not what?” she pressed. “You’re acting like you have something to prove to a certain somebody.”

Frustration was knotting in my chest, and the words flew out of my mouth before I could stop myself, the tone so much harsher than intended. “Why can’t I just do something nice for you?”

She pulled her hands away from me. “How is it nice if I don’t even want to go? And I know you wouldn’t like it there either.”

“So what? We just skip it then?” I asked, hating how sharp the tone in my voice had gotten and hating how much her dad’s words had fucked with me and hating that I felt like the gift I made her was suddenly not good enough in the slightest. But most of all, I hated that look in her eyes, that flash of heartache that I was responsible for.

“We can’t skip it. We’re going. We’re doing it. ”

“Fine.” She stood up, snatching her dresses from the bed. “I’m going to be late for my hair appointment.”

“Promise me you’ll be there,” I said. “That you’ll meet me there. That we’ll do this and we’ll have this night together.”

She exhaled sharply, eyes completely avoiding mine.

“Yes, I’ll be there. Will you be there?” There was a hint of bitterness in that question, just enough that it made me pause for a moment as I watched her leave, my mind imagining some long, never-ending, invisible bridge just suddenly growing between us.

I wondered just how the hell I was going to fix it.

* * *

I had gotten ready a lot earlier than necessary, but that was because I just wanted to put my suit on and get out of Holly’s home already.

A few days inside a mansion sounded good on paper, but in reality, it just left me feeling out of place, like I was living someone else’s life that I didn’t even want .

I was craving something normal. No mansion, no five million rooms, no fountain in both the front and backyard. I needed some freedom, space, air. The old life I was so used to. Christ, I missed the trailer park a hell of a lot. Everyone there was normal. My kind of normal.

So, I left the room in my cheap suit and even cheaper tie, not quite sure if I was supposed to tell Holly’s dad if I was leaving or not.

What was the protocol when your girlfriend’s dad hated you and thought you weren’t good enough for her?

But he answered the question when I got to the bottom of the stairs and saw him standing there.

“Are you leaving now?” he asked.

I gave him a nod. “Yeah.”

“Weren’t you supposed to be having dinner?” He checked his watch. “It’s a little early…”

“Yeah, well…” I wanted to be anywhere but in this damn house. “Better to be early than late.”

“My wife mentioned that you were going to the club for dinner. Centennial Hills Country Club, right? Did Holly choose the spot or was it you?”

“It was teamwork,” I said.

“You’re going to look even more out of place with her there than you do here.”

“I’m okay taking that risk.”

He raised an eyebrow up at me. “You can try and take her to all these nice places, but it’s not going to work. It won’t change who you are.”

My hands lifted up, absolutely not in the mood for an argument. “Look, now isn’t the time for whatever fight you wanna have.”

“What happened to driving around and seeing all the lights?” He laughed. “I guess that gets boring pretty quick.”

“We’re not gonna do this now.”

“It’s the only chance we’ve had to do this now that Holly’s gone. She’d get mad at me if she heard what I was about to say.”

“Fucking say whatever you need to say so I can just go already,” I snapped.

“Did you see how many presents were under the tree?” He nodded to the left, over to the living room. To one of them, because they had fucking five hundred living rooms. “I counted how many Holly got you. Seventeen. And then I saw the one you got her… It’s still just the one box, right?”

“Yeah, it is.” I nodded. “So what?”

“I wonder if it’ll be better than that cheap necklace you got her for her birthday.”

“The one she wears every day? The one she had on when she left?”

“She never used to have such bad taste,” he said, taking a step closer to me.

“You still don’t belong with her. With this family.

In this house, in this neighborhood. You’ve got her living in some crummy little apartment when she could be living somewhere better.

That girl’s giving up a penthouse worth millions for you. Don’t you feel bad?”

More than he realized, but I didn’t want him to know that. “Look, I know you’re still not happy with me and Holly being together. I get it. You’re not good at hiding it. You’re never gonna like me, so what do you want me to do?”

“You could leave her alone already,” he said casually. “She could be living the life she deserves, and instead she’s making all kinds of sacrifices for you. All you’ve given her is a downgrade.”

“Holly loves me whether you like it or not and I love her too. I love her with everything in me. With every last bit of me. Whatever guy you’re imagining for her will never love her as much as I do.

I know I can’t give her everything.” I loosened my tie a tiny bit because Christ , was Holly’s house suffocating.

“I’m aware of that. You remind me of that every time you look at me, but every time I look at her, it’s like it doesn’t matter. ”

He stayed quiet, those words feeling like they were echoing there between us. Me loving his daughter with my whole damn heart wasn’t enough, though, and one little speech wasn’t going to change that fact.

“You don’t belong with her,” he finally said.

“Yeah, you keep saying that.”

“I just want the point to sink in. That all the fancy dinners at the fancy restaurants in your cheap suit will never be good enough for my daughter. Very soon, she’s going to wake up and want more than drives around town and picnics and flowers from the grocery store.

And then you know where you’ll be?” He pointed a finger at me.

“You’ll be right back at that trailer park where you belong.

Where you should be right now. Where you’ll feel comfortable and at ease in the environment you’re so used to.

Wouldn’t you rather be back in that trailer instead of inside a home that you’ll never, ever feel right in?

I mean, you’re never gonna have it, and you’re never gonna be able to give it to Holly, either. ”

“I already know I’m never gonna get a place like this.” I shrugged. “I don’t want a place like this. I just wanna make Holly happy. I just wanna love her for the rest of my life. I know you think that’s not enough, but she doesn’t.”

“You’re still working as a mechanic.” He laughed. “You’re still dirt poor, son. I already know you can’t give her everything. Can you give her anything ?”

“Okay, this is fuckin’ dumb.” I moved past him and headed for the front door. “I’m leaving.”

“I suppose it’ll be less embarrassing for Holly if you don’t show up together.”

“Yeah, I suppose so.”

“You’ll always be the person you were born to be, Sawyer,” he called out. “The poor boy who grew up with nothing? You’ll always be that. You and I both know it too. I’m just waiting for Holly to wake up and realize it. Hopefully it’ll be soon.”

I pressed my lips together tightly and slammed the door shut behind me, anger pumping through me as I moved down the stairs.

He was too good at getting under my skin, at making me question myself and what I could give Holly.

And what I couldn’t give her either . He was right about me feeling uneasy inside their home.

Hell, driving into Highland Park always made me feel like I was entering a place I had no right stepping foot in.

My hands gripped the steering wheel tight when I got into the truck, driving out of Holly’s fancy gated community before I made my way to the end of the road.

That place was suffocating. It had been chipping away at me since walking through the door, and I just needed a bit of escape.

I needed normal people with normal jobs and normal sized houses.

I needed chipped paint and worn out furniture and TVs that didn’t work. Goddamn, I needed the trailer park.

There was still some time to kill before my dinner with Holly, before I had to meet up with her at the country club.

I shifted in my seat uncomfortably. That was yet another place where I wouldn’t belong, and I just needed a few minutes where I wasn’t in some too perfect, too pristine house and neighborhood.

So I kept driving until I was past the long stretch of mansions and the private school Holly used to go to and the big ass mall with all the fancy stores.

I kept going until I got to Cedar Crest, and finally, I felt relief hit me as I pulled up into Mills Mobile Home Park.

It looked exactly the same as when I left and I felt pure familiarity washing over me as I got out of the truck.

Everyone here was exactly like me. Struggling to get by, trying to make ends meet, and as Holly’s dad had put it—dirt fucking poor.