Page 22 of Infatuated as They Come (Sinful Trilogy #2)

We crawled into bed, the both of us silent, but someone had to crack eventually.

Maybe it would be him. But then I heard a soft click and the room went all dark as he turned off the lamp, and I was left to yank at the covers in frustration.

I was too angry to fall asleep and I didn’t feel tired in the slightest despite how long the day had been.

All I could do was toss and turn, the covers suddenly feeling like sandpaper no matter which way I shifted .

“You gonna do that all night?” Sawyer muttered.

“Do what?” I asked.

“You know what.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Stop moving every three seconds.”

“I can’t get comfortable,” was all I said. I didn’t want to admit that I had gotten so used to falling asleep with my head on Sawyer’s chest or his arms wrapped right around my waist.

“Well, I can’t sleep with you rolling around like that.”

“Well, I can’t sleep when I’m angry.” I tossed again, and I felt my foot brush up against his. “Will you keep your cold feet on your side of the bed please?”

“It’s not my fault I’ve got long legs.”

“I don’t want to feel your cold feet all night.”

“I feel yours all night and don’t complain.”

“Excuse me?”

“You kick in your sleep.”

“No, I don’t.”

“You do, though. You kick and you get all grabby. Feels like you’re groping me some nights. Maybe you think I’m asleep. I didn’t know you were into that sorta stuff.”

“Shut up.”

“I’m not complaining. You can do whatever you want to me—sleeping or awake.”

I pulled at the blankets some more and scooted as far away from him as I could. “Let’s both just shut up and sleep.”

“Great.”

“Good.”

“Go to sleep.”

“I will.”

“I will too if you stop talking.”

“Fine. Starting from now, no one talks.” And I was expecting him to chime up with some annoying response, but after getting nothing but silence, I forced my eyes to close and pressed my face deep into my pillow. The stupid thing didn’t feel nearly as comfortable as Sawyer, though.

“I don’t even know why you’re fuckin’ mad at me when I didn’t even do anything wrong!” Sawyer suddenly snapped.

“Oh, that lasted all of three seconds!” I said.

I could feel him sitting up next to me. “Why are you so pissed at me?”

My eyes opened to see that he had turned the lamp back on, and I could see the frustration there on his face as I sat up too. “Because you won’t let me give you money!”

“I don’t want your money!” he said, jaw tight and eyes dark. “I have a job.”

“Yes, I am aware!”

“Great. Move on then.”

“No. Take my money.”

“No.”

“Tell me your birthday!”

He scoffed. “You’re bringing that up again? Now? Really?”

“Just let me pay for stuff. Let me do it.”

“No.”

“Because of the genitals situation?”

“What did I tell you about saying that? You’re being a brat, Holly.” He leaned in closer to me. “Been a while since you acted like one.”

“I am not being a brat.”

“What do you call this then?”

“It’s called being supportive.”

“You can support me by letting me do what I want.”

“You can work. I don’t care if you work, but can’t you just do it part time?”

“That’s not how it works.” His fingers ran through his hair. “I can’t just go from working full time to only working a few days.”

“Fine.” I threw myself back into the bed. “Goodnight.”

“You gonna go to bed pissed at me?” he asked lowly.

“Looks like it.”

“You’re not supposed to go to bed mad at people.”

“Do you know how many times I’ve gone to bed mad at you in the past? Like, a million times.”

“Well, it’s different now.”

“How?”

“I’m in love with you now.”

Something tugged at my heart when he said that, but I forced myself to fight that feeling off. “Just go to sleep.”

“What if I die in my sleep?”

I winced. “Don’t talk like that.”

“But what if I do? And then I go to Heaven all sad because you’re mad at me?” His fingers gently traced soft patterns on my shoulders. “What am I gonna do up there without you, huh?”

“You are not getting into Heaven.”

“They might have changed their policy.”

“Come back as a ghost and we’ll argue some more.”

“But then I can’t touch you,” he murmured, his fingers moving up to my hair. “I can’t kiss you and hold you and feel you close. All I can do is haunt you. And knock shit over. I’ll get bored so fast.”

Groaning, I sat up, quickly leaning over to give him a short kiss to the lips. “I love you. I’m mad at you, but I love you. Goodnight.”

One hand reached up to cup at my cheek and that halted me, keeping me locked right there on the spot as our eyes met. His thumb moved across my skin in soft, little strokes. “Look, I get that you want to help me, okay? I appreciate it. I know why you’re doing it too.”

“You think I’m doing this to annoy you,” I said.

“No, I don’t.” He tucked some hair behind my ear.

“I think you’re very… positive. You think everything’s gonna work out ‘cause you’re used to things working out.

When you’ve got a heap of money, things usually tend to work out, but I need you to see this from my perspective, Holly.

I need you to be realistic. I can’t not work and I can’t just rely on you.

I’ve never had anyone to rely on but myself, and I know you want good things for me, but…

guys like me don’t get to take risks. Taking a risk means losing a lot. More than you know… ”

“What do you mean?” I frowned. “Like what?”

“Just…” He smoothed a hand over my hair. “Look, I can’t lose this job. I can’t go up to my boss and just ask to cut back on hours. I need to work. And I need you to understand that I can’t just drop everything and… follow my dreams. As nice as that sounds, it’s not an option.”

“I just want things to be good for you,” I said. “I know I’ve never had to struggle the way you have, the way a lot of people have. And if I can change it, if I can make it easier for you, then shouldn’t I? Shouldn’t I help you?”

“You think I’m unhappy doing this,” he said, his hand lowering to my shoulder.

He settled against the mattress first and then guided me to him, my head suddenly there on his broad chest, and I instantly felt relief being close to him again.

“I’m not. I like it. I like working for something, working for you. ”

“I have enough money that neither of us ever has to work.”

“Then why are you going to college?”

“You know I’ve always wanted to study journalism.”

“You don’t have to, though. Like you said, you’ve got so much money that you never have to get a job.

But you want one, ‘cause you’re a hard worker, ‘cause you like what you study and you’ve always wanted to do that.

I don’t just wanna sit back and paint and hope I’m lucky enough to make a career out of that.

And you know what?” He squeezed me tighter.

“I like knowing that at the end of the day, I get to come home to you. It’s worth it for you.

All of it is. The really early days and the late nights.

If it means I see you at the end of the day, then it’s worth it. ”

I sighed. “This is either a really good time or a really bad time to tell you that I applied for that art program for you,” I said, and I heard him exhale sharply, but he didn’t let me go. “I’m sorry.”

“Holly,” he said lowly. “Why’d you do that?”

“I know I shouldn’t have gone behind your back.

I’m sorry. That was wrong of me, but I only did it because you deserve to have an opportunity like that.

They got back to me today. They said they want to meet you.

Why don’t you go see them? Just for an hour or something?

I already checked, and the studio is really close to your work.

You said you’d love to do something like that, right? ”

“Yeah, I did say that. And… And I meant it…”

My brows knitted together and I pressed myself to him tighter. “It’s okay to put yourself first, Sawyer.”

“I’m not really used to doing that.”

“When was the last time you did something for yourself? When was the last time you let yourself have a break? You work so hard all the time. You’ve been working hard your whole life…”

For a long moment, he stayed silent, his fingers brushing at my hair all softly and slowly. It was enough to make my eyes flutter shut.

Finally, he let out a long breath. “Alright, I’ll go. For you, I’ll do it.”