Page 8 of I’m So Mega

Samuel’s head tilted to the side. “Mega, I’m not sure if you know this, but this woman is my whole ass wife. It’s certainly within my rights to get her pregnant. Oh, and as far as my irresponsible peen, your mama gets it every night. Mind your peen, not mine.”

Ruth spit the drink that she just took into her mouth out.

My mother sat there with this he just told you smirk on her face like I wouldn’t make her a widow and my brother or sister a fatherless child.

The betrayal. “So, you gonna let that man talk to your son like that, Ma? I thought you loved this man. You just gonna let him put his life in danger.”

“Megatron Loric Manfield, I promise if you don’t sit your black ass down, I’m gonna show you whose nuts really drag around this bitch.” She leaned forward on the table. “Sit your ass down.”

I wanted to be defiant, but I knew it wasn’t worth it. When I sat down, Ruth put her hand on my leg. When I turned to her, she gave me a warm smile.

“Megatron, like you told me, you’re forty years old. You know what that means to me? It means your old ass needs to grow up. Married people fuck. If I recall, you and Miss Fuck All Day over there have four kids.”

There was warmness in my heart because my mama never mentioned her grandchildren without mentioning our angel baby, Megha. I loved her for that. She never allowed anyone to forget about my baby boy.

“Mama Goldie! Why did I have to catch a stray?” Ruth’s mouth was dropped open. “I didn’t say anything.”

Mama held her finger up and focused on Ruth.

“There is no such thing as catching a stray when it comes to a bullet coming for your significant others. What comes for them comes for you.” Her focus drifted back to me.

“My husband can check you when it comes to me whenever he sees fit to, just like you check everyone about your wife. Now get your head out your ass, because you’re going to be a big fucking brother. ”

Back To The Present . . .

That was exactly what I did. I got my head out of my ass and accepted the fact that my old ass mama and her older ass husband were having a child together.

Samuel’s oldest daughter was thirty-two.

Jayme was a cool chick who hung out with Ruth from time to time when her ass wasn’t in the streets.

Jayme and I loved our little sister, and she had a bunch of killers that stood behind her.

“Megan, this is so beautiful. Come on so we can frame it before dinner.”

We walked the short steps to a closet that was close to the kitchen.

I had a supply of frames in there that I used to frame her fifty-eleven pictures that she created for me.

Once it was framed, we moved over to the display wall.

Each of my children had their own wall. Pictures, certificates, and trophy filled shelves dressed each wall.

Whenever I went through a rough time, this was where I came to remember my why.

Megha also had representation on a wall.

We found a place on the wall to hang the picture. “Perfection,” she said, then kissed her fingers. At four, she had a bold personality which was true to the blood that flowed through her body. She went back to her seat at the table to start on another picture when we got back into the kitchen.

“Alright, everything is ready and on the table. We gonna head out,” Samuel said. “Megan, come on, baby.”

I shook my head. “Y’all don’t have to go. The more men here, the scarier it is for these nigglets. We gotta use your big, burly ass in another way outside of cooking.”

He burst into laughter. “I guess I can do that for you. Let me go change. Your mother packed a change of clothes anyway. Something tells me that we were staying whether either of us wanted.”

“Mega, are you going to stay in here all night? We are all sitting, ready to eat,” Ruth said when she came into the kitchen. She didn’t give me a chance to respond before she left out.

I paused for a moment to think about how I would discipline that pussy later.

Her ass had been snippy lately. I knew she wasn’t pregnant because a year after we had the boys, I got a vasectomy.

We made the decision not to have any more children after we saw how much of a handful our boys were.

Those were her words, but mine were that they were bad as hell.

She wanted to tie her tubes, but I didn’t want her to do anything to her body that she didn’t have to do.

I checked every year to make sure we were good.

“Come on, Megan. Let me get you settled while your mama and daddy get changed.” She rushed over to grab my hand.

I set her in her booster seat at the table between my boys, her nephews. “Alright, let’s say grace so we can eat. Y’all pray, right?”

Ryne’s father’s eyes turned into slits. “Yeah, we can pray. That’s fine.”

I was about to say something out of the side of my neck until Ruth mumbled rose under her breath.

“Heavenly Father, we come to You thanking You for the food that was prepared and the hands that prepared them. We ask that tonight’s conversation be beneficial to all parties involved.

I ask that You guide my words, so that they can guide theirs, and we can lessen the need for extra names on page fourteen of the newspaper.

All these things we ask in Your name, Amen. ”

Everyone followed with an Amen. Payton’s mother, Shanti, cleared her throat. “What’s on page fourteen of the newspaper?”

I stopped putting food on Megan’s plate to look at her. A sinister smile settled on my face. “The obituaries.”

Ruth dropped her head. Kellie’s and Maggie’s eyes bulged. It always baffled me when they acted surprised by my antics. I was the same Mega; however, I strived to be a man after God’s heart like my main man David. Ryne’s father, Ryne Sr., chuckled.

I understood a man that wanted a namesake, but Ryne? I didn’t want to listen, and I damn sure would judge. I guess he thought because it was spelled like a girl that he deserved a junior.

By the time all the plates were full, Samuel and my mama were seated.

Samuel went with Italian tonight: stuffed shells, lasagna, sautéed green beans in garlic, Caesar salad, and Italian garlic bread.

He matched the lasagna with a Sangiovese wine, and the Alfredo stuffed shells with a Sauvignon Blanc wine.

Both came from the Basil Sands line that my mother and Ruth were obsessed with.

We ate silently for several minutes. Ned, Samuel, and I stared at Ryne and Payton like we had a problem. I appreciated that Samuel understood the assignment. I was sure he had practice with Jayme. Once I had my fill, I decided it was time to get this conversation started.

“Alright, so you boys want to take our girls to the dance. Why?” That was the question of the night.

Ryne and Payton glanced at each other. Ryne spoke up first. “Mr. Manfield, we’re all friends, and they’re pretty, so we decided to ask them. That’s really all it was.”

“So, you’re telling us that you don’t want them to be y’all girlfriends?” Ned asked. “You said our daughters were pretty. I actually want to correct you. They’re not pretty, they’re beautiful. So, yeah.”

Neither of them took that question. Ryne’s mother straightened her back in her seat. “Um, I think the invite was and is innocent. Your girls are very respectful as are our boys. There should be no issue.”

“Yeah, so this whole sit down for dinner with the parents is a lot and unnecessary. It’s just a school dance. Y’all acting like they proposed to them,” Ryne Sr. spoke out of turn.

Matthew shuffled in his seat.” Daddy, you want us to take Megan to the den to watch a movie? We can finish eating in there too.”

See, my sons knew when their daddy was about to be with all the shits, because who was this nigga talking to. I didn’t take my eyes off Ryne bitch ass Senior. “Yes, Son, do that. Matter of fact, I want all the kids to move to the den. We need to have an adult conversation.”

All Megan cared about was the fact that she was about to watch a movie with her favorite nephews.

Ruth and my mama helped them get settled in the den.

The entire time, I kept my focus on this nigga that in my mind, I killed and repented for the thought at least three times.

Ruth asked if anyone wanted more wine before we got started.

“Ryne, we’re going to have a very candid conversation.” I looked to my side at my wife. “Baby, give me grace and understand as I will ask the same of Big G.” When she gave me her warm smile with a nod, I leaned over and kissed her cheek. This woman was everything.

My attention went back to Ryne bitch ass Senior.

“So, Ryne, I am fully aware that they didn’t propose to our daughters.

Another thing that I am also fully aware of is the fact that the boys are in the eighth grade on their way to high school.

Ryne, do you know what I was doing in the eighth grade?

Fucking.” There was silence for a moment.

“Let me tell you what else I know when I see, . . . boys who are fucking.”

Ryne’s mother, Nicole, gasped. “No, absolutely not. I can’t speak for Payton, but my son is not.”

A parent in denial was a dangerous thing. When you weren’t able to accept the things that your children could potentially be doing, it left blind spots that could be detrimental to their growth and possibly their safety.

Ned shook his head with a chuckle before he spoke. “Let’s have an honest moment. Ryne, is your son fucking? I don’t need to ask you, Shanti, because your lack of reaction told me what I need to know. Again, Ryne, is your son fucking?”

His wife turned in his direction. Yeah, she wanted to know the answer just as much as the rest of us. The men in the room knew the answer. Ryne looked uncomfortable, but the glare from his wife dared him to lie. “Um, he recently lost his virginity.”

“What! When . . .? Why wouldn’t you tell me that?” Nicole fussed as if the answer really mattered. “Ryne, what the hell!”

“Nicole, chill! This is something that I handle. You handle what goes on with our girls. I got our boys,” Ryne fussed back with his wife. “I had all of the necessary talks with him. He knows how to protect himself.”

I clapped my hands. “Congratulations on being a responsible parent, teaching your son the things he needed to know about sex. Let me ask you this though. What’s going to protect him and that other nigglet from me when I have my brother over there put a hole in his head?

” I raised my hand. “I’m not a killer no more. ”

Ryne’s face tightened. “Nigga, you’re not gonna threaten my son and think I’m just going to sit here. I’ll fuck you up in your own fuckin’ house, fuck nigga.”

Ruth and Shan gasped, but my mama laughed. She knew what was up. “Yeah, the eating portion of dinner is over,” my mother said.

Click, thud! Click, thud! Click, thud!

In secession me, Samuel and Ned pulled our attitude correctors, put one in the chamber, then set them on the table. Yeah, Samuel fully understands the assignment. I might have to start calling him Pop. “Whose ass you gonna beat, homeboy?”

“Oh, you one of those niggas that think you’re tough shit because you got a gun? Without that gun, you ain’t shit.” Ryne showed no fear, which I respected.

Ruth’s hands waved in the air. “Gentlemen, there is no need to take it this far. I think all we need to do is set some stern boundaries with the kids. They should be fine. Mega, Ned, Pop Samuel, put your guns back where they were.”

I glared at Ryne before I turned to gaze at my wife.

Her eyes gave me silent instructions. In those instructions, I heard, don’t embarrass our daughter.

I took a breath before I gave silent instructions to Ned and Samuel to put their guns up.

I wanted to laugh at Shanti because her ass sat there unfazed.

She hadn’t said anything and continued to eat while everything went on around her.

When we all picked our guns up to put them away, Ryne must have thought he had some juice. He snickered and rubbed the point of his nose. “Yeah, be a good lil boy and listen to ya bit?—”

Boom! Ruth’s hand slammed down on the table before she pushed her chair back with so much force that it fell.

She stood to her feet. “No, that is not what you will ever do. Let me tell you something, Mr. Armen. If my husband decides to put a hot one in you, that would be the most humane method that he could offer you. Don’t take this situation lightly, nigga, because if I let his ass loose, you’re going to be sent to the judgment table regardless of how he chooses to handle you. ”

Everyone sat there silently. Ruth bucked on this man, in her own little way, to save his life because I was about to lay him down. My baby was mad, and it wasn’t at me, so that signaled my dick to harden. “Damn, Ruth.”

She glared at me for a second before her attention shifted to the other parents at the table. “Nicole, Shanti, and Shan, our men are allowing their pride and ego to lead this conversation. I will take over. Mega, go get the girls and boys.”

My head jerked back. “How I become the do boy?” When she took a step toward me, I chuckled. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into me when I finally stood up. My lips went to her ear. “You’re getting so much dick tonight.”

I smacked her ass on my way out of the dining room. When I cut the corner, I ran smack into Matthew and Joseph. I didn’t expect anything less from their bad asses. “What are y’all doing in the hallway? This doesn’t look like the den.”

“Oh, we was just coming to make sure you was good, Daddy. You cool?” Joseph asked me with feigned concern. I couldn’t take him seriously.

“Joesph, don’t play with me. Is you cool? Get back in the den before I handle y’all.” All the kids were watching television. I wasn’t too thrilled with the closeness of the two fuckers next to my daughter and niece. “Aye, y’all come back in the dining room. Matthew and Joseph, stay with Megan.”