Page 15 of I’m So Mega

“God, I also come to You as the God of vengeance. There are times that we need You to reprimand us to show us that You will not stand for the things that are not of You. I ask if the desire enters Johnni’s heart to flirt, proposition, masturbate to my husband or another woman’s husband that You move to the side to let genital warts fall upon her.

Allow the plague of stink breath to hit her like a typhoon.

Put the desire of a virtuous woman in her heart as described in Proverbs 31:10-31 and remove whorish thoughts and actions.

Let the Jesus juice stain her tongue like a scarlet letter.

All these things we ask in Your precious name, Amen. ”

When I opened my eyes, her eyes were on me with shock and awe. “I’m so rude. Johnni, did you want to add to the prayer?”

Her head jerked with refusal. “Oh no, I think yours was fine. Thank you.”

I smiled for a second before it dropped. “Jhonni, it’s clear that I know about your little voicemail. I don’t appreciate your proposition to my husband, and I want you to understand it’s only the God in me that doesn’t have my yes ma’am at your dome. Please stop playing with me and my marriage.”

Jhonni held her hand up. “Ruth, I’m so sorry. At the time, I was high on pain medication. Please forgive me.”

I tilted my head. “Like the Lord, I definitely will. Unlike the Lord, I will not throw this experience into the sea of forgetfulness. This is your warning, darling.” I stood from my seat with a smile. “I’m going to get out of here to let you rest. It was nice sitting with you.”

I let her know that she didn’t have to get up. With the same joy that I came with, I left with. Mega always told me that there were some things that you could handle instead of bothering our Lord. I was prone to believe him now.

It was a little after one in the afternoon when I got a call from Maggie’s school.

They asked me to come in because she started her period.

There was no way that I would tell Mega about this right now.

He almost didn’t survive her straight hair, and that was just a few weeks ago.

He wouldn’t be ready for this. I’d have to ease him into this.

When I got to the school, my baby was in the nurse’s office. She didn’t look happy or well. “Hey, baby, come here.”

“Mama.” She ran into my open arms. “I bled through my pants.”

I kissed her forehead. “It’s alright, my love.” I pulled her back and cupped her face. “I did too, and I had on white pants.” My cheeks rose as the corner of my lips pulled back. I turned to the nurse. “She’s not going to be here tomorrow. We’re going to have a woman’s weekend.”

The nurse smiled. “That is an amazing idea. I wish more parents did that.”

I had already texted Shan and Fiona on my way here. We did this weekend when Shanae and Sadie started their periods. This transition in life was a big deal, and we treated it as such.

“Mama, my stomach hurts,” Maggie said with her hands over her midsection. “That’s normal, right? I remember you used to have bad cramps.”

I huffed because I didn’t want that for my girl. “It depends on the person. Sometimes it happens, but it may not be severe like mine. This weekend, I have something special planned for you. It’s gonna be me, you, Auntie Shan, and Fiona, Kellie, Shanae, and Sadie.”

Maggie’s eyes brightened. Those were all of her favorite people. “What are we doing? I’m excited and I don’t even know yet.”

I glanced at her in the passenger seat. “You’ll find out in the morning. First, I have to break the news to your father about his little girl starting her journey to womanhood.”

“Lord! First straightened hair and now my period. Mama, he’s not going to make it. We need to start praying now, and I mean lay out pray.”

I had to laugh because she knew her daddy well. That man had to stay under prayer and near the cross. Certain life changes he just didn’t handle well. Ned was no better. Kellie would be the next in line, and that man would have a full fit.

When we got home, Mega was coming from the kitchen with a bottle of water. He knew something was wrong because Maggie didn’t get off the bus until around four in the afternoon. Matthew and Joseph arrived home about a half an hour before her.

“Hey, baby girl. What you doing home so early? Are you alright?” His words were etched with concern.

Maggie looked up at me. I kissed her temple. “Go ahead to your room to get cleaned up so me and your daddy can talk. I’ll be in there soon.”

She gave me and her father a warm smile before she moved down the hall. My attention went to Mega. “Come talk to me, baby.”

I didn’t give him a chance to say yes or no. I made my way to our room. When I got there, I sat on the chaise and crossed my legs. He stopped when he came into the room.

“Ruth, what the hell is wrong with my baby? Don’t do that beat around the bush stuff either,” he demanded. “You know I don’t like that when it comes to my children.”

That was a fact. “Mega, Maggie is home early because she started her period today.” I got right to it.

He tilted his head. “What do you mean? Oh, she started to say that period shit like the other lil annoying girls? Period!”

When he clapped together his middle finger against his thumb, I lost it. “Mega, what in the world? No, she started her menstruation.”

His head tilted to the side. “Hey Google, at what age do females start their menstruation?

“According to sources, the average age for most girls to start their period is twelve. Some can start as early as eight,” our hub answered.

Mega threw his head back and closed his eyes.

“Big G, what is the meaning of this? Big G, I know James 1:2-4 says: Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely.

Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.

“Lord, if you see fit to deficient me in any way, let it be in this way. I can’t deal with this, man.

It was just yesterday that my baby fake-slept to be nosy.

Now, she’s just nosy like her mama.” He took a breath while I gawked at him sideways from one of my eyes.

He glanced at me. “See, God, she can’t even let me finish the prayer without her opening her eye. ”

I sucked my teeth and opened both of my eyes. His eyes were wide open, staring at me. I just closed my eyes again.

“God, help me deal with this. I’m new to this parenting thing, no matter how old my babies get. Keep me near you, my guns in my safe, and my head on a swivel to see when these lil nigglets and hussies that come at my daughter and sons. Amen.”

“Amen.” I stood in agreement. Mega’s prayers were his.

I would never allow anyone to dictate how his relationship with his Big G flowed.

It was his own personal relationship with the man that created him.

“I’m going to do our woman’s weekend this weekend.

There’s a really cool treehouse cabin in North Carolina that we’re going to fly to tomorrow. Fiona chartered a private jet.”

He nodded. “So, like, what does she need from me? Is there anything that I can do?”

I smiled at his willingness to always be there. This was a situation where there really was nothing he could do, but he would still try. “Later tonight, we’re going to be in the den, watching a movie, eating ice cream, and snuggled up. Come snuggle with us.”

He smiled, then walked over to our walk-in closet.

He took a minute in there, and when he came out, I was once again reminded why I loved this man.

Over his arm he had a pair of Transformer pajamas, and in his other hand, he had a pair of matching house slippers.

“Bet! I’m going to order her favorite food for dinner. Is that cool?”

“That is very cool.” I uncrossed my legs. “Now come here so I can suck your dick.”

His head bucked back before he threw the pajamas and the slippers in the air. “Ah, see, when you’re obedient, good things happen. Come on, throat master, and let me put this dick down it.”

I loved when he talked that nasty stuff to me. I was a fool for this man and would always be. He was my Megatron.

A Few Weeks Later . . .

Our women’s weekend was absolutely amazing.

The older women taught Maggie and Kellie how to properly handle their hygiene when it was that time of the month.

We taught them how to determine what kind of pads they should use and when.

I decided that I would teach her about tampons when she was a little older.

Since she had started menstruating, it was also time to have that sex talk.

That conversation was mildly uncomfortable, but Fiona helped me through it.

When we got back home, my baby felt confident, and that was the goal.

What was more amazing than the weekend was the night before we left.

Mega went to get Maggie’s favorite food, seafood.

Not just any seafood though. It was a boil that Pop Samuel made with his special seasoning.

After dinner, we all took a shower because seafood stank.

Mega had me bent over for half of the shower.

After the showers, we all met in the den with our pajamas on and watched movies.

I wanted to cry when the kids sat on the couch with Mega and me.

The kids found a way to snuggle up with us.

Our couch was custom made and humongous.

We all fell asleep on the couch together.

These were the core memories that I wanted my babies to have.

The following weekend, Maggie, Kellie, and I had lunch with my mother. She’d been away with my father on one of their trips that they loved to take. They took a week trip every quarter. When I told her that Maggie started her period, she cried because she missed it.

After all the greatness of the weeks, Mega and I were at the boys’ school again. This was the first time they called us to the school since the last time. “Man, I swear, I’m gonna tap their asses, Ruth, if they tried that change places thing again.”

“Mega, let’s just find out what it is. Don’t jump to conclusions,” I told him when he opened the car door to let me out. I grabbed his hand so we could walk into the school.

When we got into the office, our sons sat together with stoned faces. The principal did her usual and escorted us to the conference room. This time, she told the secretary to watch the boys.

Our butts weren’t in the seat five seconds before the principal started. “Mr. and Mrs. Manfield, we are going to have to suspend your boys for three days. They were in a fight.”

“A fight with who? Are they the only ones being suspended?” I asked. Our boys didn’t get violent unless they had to. That was a part of the discipline training that they were in with their father and uncles.

Mega just sat there. I saw the wheels in his head turning. I prayed they didn’t turn him into a maniac.