Page 13 of I’m So Mega

The dance was from seven to ten. In all our daddy-dom, Ned and I planned to sit right here until our baby girls walked through that door.

Ruth and Shan thought we were doing too much, so I told their ass to go in her content room and make a video about it.

There was nothing too much when it came to my baby girl or boys.

I jumped out of my seat on the couch when I heard the alarm sound to let me know someone came into the house. I walked toward the front door with Ned on my heels. “Hey, girls, how was the dance?”

Maggie smiled. “It was nice. We had fun.”

“Ain’t nobody mess with y’all, right?” Ned asked. “You know if they did, we’ll handle it.”

Kellie chuckled. “No, Daddy. No one messed with us. Pop Samuel came inside and stayed the whole time.”

That’s what the hell I’m talking about, Samuel. “So, no kissing boys tonight?” I asked with a tilted head.

The girls looked at each other, then at me. Maggie’s upper lip rose. “No, I don’t like Ryne like that. He’s actually Lisa’s boyfriend, or so she says. I just wanted to show her that these niggas ain’t loyal.” Her eyes widened, and she smacked her hand over her mouth. “I’m sorry, Daddy!”

What in the seventh-grade drama is this, Jesus? I couldn’t handle this. I didn’t feel like Big G properly prepared me for this. The weapon was time and it was against me. The bitch was prospering!

“Kellie, did you kiss any boys, or does Payton have a girlfriend too?” Ned asked his daughter with his arms crossed over his chest and his head tilted.

Kellie shook her head. “No, Daddy. Um, he doesn’t have a girlfriend, but he doesn’t like me anymore.” The dejection in her voice was problematic. When Ned asked why, Maggie grabbed her hand. “He said that I was acting like a little girl because I didn’t want to kiss him.”

Ned reached his arm out and pulled her into him.

“That doesn’t make you a little girl. It makes you respectful.

Never let anyone make you do something that you don’t feel comfortable doing.

” He kissed her forehead. “I’m proud of you two.

Now, Maggie, we’re going to talk later about these unloyal niggas. ”

I tittered. “Y’all mamas in the content room. Go let them know y’all back so y’all can get ready for bed. Y’all got a full day tomorrow too,” I told them.

They both hugged us and were on their way down the hall. “Man, I think it’s time to have the fucking talk with our girls,” Ned said. “Man, I can’t believe I have to go through this shit again.”

I laughed. “Yeah, we can talk to our wives. I think they should talk to them first. I tell you what though . . . That lil brunch in the morning, I’m gonna be there to talk to this Kami ’cause I got a few questions for her.”

Ned’s head dropped. “Ah, hell. I’m going to pray for her. I’d go with you, but you know.”

I nodded my head to the acknowledgment that he had to go out of town for a mission.

It had been over eight years since I was laid off from the disposal department of Christianson Enterprises.

Since then, I’d been called on three missions over the years as a consultant, but I didn’t get to kill.

I was there to watch Ned’s back. I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t miss it sometimes.

I often asked Big G to continue to clean my heart.

“Don’t even worry about it. You know I’ll give you a full report,” I told him.

Yeah, like I said earlier, Ruth and Kami had me fucked up.

The Next Morning . . .

Ruth knew something was up last night when we got in the bed.

She tried to suck and fuck the sense out of me.

I let her, too, because why wouldn’t I? When she got up to get ready for her brunch, I was already up.

I woke the boys up while she was asleep and took them to my mama’s house next door.

I showered and got ready over there too.

When her ass came out into the den, I was on the couch with my coffee mug and the newspaper. I dressed casually in a polo shirt, dark denims, and some dope kicks. She told me I couldn’t come because I needed a ticket, and they were sold out. Joke was on her.

See, when she went down there to that event, I reached out to the organizer via email to let them know that I wanted to surprise my wife.

I asked if they had extra room so I could accompany her and my daughter to the brunch.

I wanted them to know that I was fully vested in their love for books.

What do you know, Iesha Bree reached back and told me that she put me on the guest list. She commended me for being an amazing husband and father.

Ruth needed to stop underestimating me. Megatron Loric Manfield was on his book bae shit in that email.

When I told her not to worry about all of that, she told me that was fine if I wanted to embarrass myself.

Yeah, when we walked up to that registration table and I gave them my name, her mouth dropped to see I was on that ho.

Stop playing with Big G’s son! After all the money Ruth and the girls spent at this event, I deserved to be here. I liked brunch like the next dude.

I wasn’t going to lie; it was dope in here.

They had a DJ, and the food smelled good as hell.

Now, where is this Kami Holt? The girls sat at the table with me and pointed out some of the authors that they met, while Ruth worked the room with her influencer hotness.

Next thing I knew, a brown-skinned woman walked up to the table with a big smile and sat on the other side of the girl. Look at Big G working it out for me!

“Hey, lil ladies! How was the dance?” the woman asked. “Y’all hair still looks good.” Yep, just who I need to talk to.

The girls told her all about the dance down to the lil nigglets ain’t loyal. I let them have their conversation. Like they just realized I was there, Maggie introduced me. “Oh, Kami, this is my daddy, Megatron. Well, Daddy, but his name is Megatron.”

Kami stuck her hand out. “The infamous Megatron. Ruth talks about you often on her page. It’s so nice to meet you.”

I shook her hand. “It’s nice to meet you too. My wife says you’re a dope author. She said that you were gifted with a pen. I didn’t know you were gifted with making my babies look grown as hell, too, with all this straight hair.”

She blankly stared at me for a moment, then looked at the girls. “They don’t look grown at all. They look like little ladies. Time to let ’em grow up, Pops.”

“Well, that’s cool, but I want them to look like lil girls.” Everybody had me fucked up. I need to pray. I closed my eyes. “Big G, keep me near the cross. They’re trying to grow my girls up without consulting with me or You. Fix it before I do. Amen.”

“Amen and Amen,” Kami said.

A hand gripped my shoulder. “Mega, what are you over here talking about?” Ruth’s soft voice asked. “Kami, I see you’ve met my special husband.”

Kami chuckled. “I definitely did. He is exactly as you described him on your page.” Her attention turned to me. “Megatron, you have a beautiful daughter and niece. They both have good heads on their shoulders and beautiful hair. Let’s allow them to be proud of that.”

Before I could respond, Ruth did. “That was said perfectly. We appreciate you helping our babies’ experience last night be great.”

“You know I got my fav booktoker! Lil ladies, I’m happy y’all had a good night. Don’t let them boys mess with you. Keep ya head in the books and eyes off the boys,” Kami told them.

That last statement redeemed her in my eyes, so I wouldn’t trip. Ruth took the open seat next to me. I leaned toward her. “Alright, now, where is this Jahquel J chick? She got thousands of my dollars, so I need to have five minutes of her time.”