Page 9

maggie

S un cracks through the windows of my bedroom like a laser beam straight to my unbelievably dry eyes.

Shit, did I forget to take my contacts out?

My head pounds and I feel like I got hit by a truck.

Maybe I had a little too much bourbon last night.

At least I feel nice and taken care of. Rolling over, I reach for the beast of a man that fucked me senseless last night.

Tapping my hand on the pillows, the blanket, and finally squinting my eyes open the tiniest bit, I find the other side of my bed…

empty. My heart sinks. Maybe he’s in the bathroom?

I log roll myself out of bed, taking note of my room.

Fabric from my dress is strewn across the floor, a condom wrapper sits on the nightstand, one of my shoes is sitting sideways in front of my dresser with the other peeking out from under my bed.

Putting on my robe, I dodge the items on the floor, too damn tired to pick any of it up now, and head to the bathroom.

Empty.

I check the living room.

Empty.

Kitchen. Spare bedroom. Spare bath .

All empty.

I swallow hard as the same tears from yesterday rise to the surface.

Goddammit. I’m tired, my head is pounding, and my heart is in the pit of my stomach.

Turning in a slow circle, I finally accept my apartment is empty.

Truly, fully, completely empty. I know we agreed this was for one night, but he just…

left. No goodbye. No note. Nothing. Even some sort of bullshit line like, “Hey this was fun,” would’ve been better than him leaving without a word.

It's not like I haven’t hooked up with someone knowing it was only going to be for one night.

I’ve gotten used to pretending that’s all I want.

Quick. Easy. Wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am, no strings attached.

But the dull ache in my chest for something more has always gnawed at me.

Like the vase on my bookshelf that just sits empty, collecting dust, and waiting for something it was meant to hold.

I see my friends in steady relationships with their inside jokes, shared grocery lists, and weekend routines.

I see their peace and their joy, and I’m happy for them.

But at night, when I’m alone, I find myself wishing I had someone to come home to.

Someone who sees all the chaos that comes with the Maggie James VIP package and decides to stay.

I’ve been called ‘too much’ more times than I can count.

Too loud. Too driven. Too unwilling to bow down before someone with a giant ego to fit into their girlfriend-sized box.

I don’t want to be someone’s other half.

I want to be their equal. I’d almost given up. I didn’t think that person existed.

Until last night.

I slump onto my couch, finally allowing myself to let go of all the sorrow I’ve been burying deep. Bile rises in my throat knowing I fucking signed myself up for this. I mean, he literally told me before we even got started last night he doesn’t do relationships.

But for some reason, the four chamber organ in my ribcage, who I affectionately call Melissa Joan Heart, is being a bitch and under the impression last night felt like something more.

Damn you, Melissa . When you project yourself as a badass bitch, people don’t realize you’re actually a sensitive person.

I’m kind of like an M&M. Hard on the outside, soft in the middle.

And right now, I feel like a piece of candy stomped and mushed into someone’s carpet.

I need to call Olivia and fill her in on all?—

Shit. My stomach drops as my breath catches. I can’t tell her.

I slam my fists down on the couch cushions over and over again. Fuck, fuck, fucking fuck.

I have no one to talk to about this. I certainly can’t talk to my Judgy McJudgerton mother about my one-night stand. My brothers want zero details about my sex life. I mean…same. And Vladi specifically told me not to tell the one person I need to talk to about this.

I’m pulled from my frustration as I hear a voice and some banging in the hallway. Wait, is Vladi outside my door? I race to open it and peek my head out.

Not him.

Instead, I see a tall, blonde woman with her bags on the floor, trying to kick in an apartment door. Well, I thought this was a safe neighborhood.

Sniffing back my tears, I take a step outside, propping my door open behind me with my welcome mat. “Do you need some help?”

She glances back, a horrified look in her eyes, and I suddenly remember I’m a hot mess with my crying corpse face.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry!” she whisper-yells down the hallway. “Did I wake you? I just moved in, and I can’t get this damn keycard to open the door to my apartment. I thought kicking it would help, but it’s really just ruining my shoe.”

I snort as I walk down the hall toward her.

“No worries. You didn’t wake me. I was already up dealing with…

” I flick the air aw ay from my face, biting the inside of my cheek.

“Never mind. I would have done the same thing. These keycards are so damn sensitive. You have to hit it just right on the sensor or it doesn’t work.

Here, let me show you.” I grab the card from her and hold it on the sensor as the lock clicks.

“Voila! You’ll get used to it over time.

They are a bitch to figure out. If you need help again, I’m down the hall in 1010. I’m Maggie, by the way.”

“Thank you so much, Maggie! It’s nice to meet you. I’m Kennedy,” she says, reaching out to shake my hand, her other holding open her door. She pauses, giving me another once over, probably wondering how an ugly troll got into this building. “I know we just met, but…are you okay?”

Shit. No, I am not okay. I am so far from okay.

I force a watery smile. “I’m good. Just had a little too much to drink last night is all.”

She raises a brow, calling my bullshit from a mile away. “And that makes you cry?”

I let out a little chuckle. “No.” I twist my fingers together. “Have you ever had a one-night stand you didn’t want to be a one-night stand?” I whisper, not knowing what possessed me to tell this complete stranger all my business. But, I can’t talk to my bestie about it, so why the hell not?

“Ah. Yeah, I’ve been there and can confirm the suckiness that comes with it.

I’m a pilot, so one-night stands are sadly the majority of my sex life.

And believe me, I’ve had a couple of times where I really didn’t want to leave someone in another city.

The wondering if it could have turned into something more is always there. ”

“Okay, first of all, that’s badass you’re a pilot! I need to hear more about that sometime. And my situation is...a little different. This guy is my best friend’s boyfriend’s best friend.”

She blinks, tilting her head to the side. “I’m going to need you to say that one more time,” she says with a very serious look on her face.

“His bestie and my bestie are canoodling. So, sadly, we both live in the same town and run in the same circles. I don’t even know what’s going to happen.

” I awkwardly scratch my head, my fingers getting caught in one of the snarls in my hair.

“This just happened last night, and I feel like it’s going to be… complicated.”

“I’m really sorry to hear that,” she says with a warm smile. “If you need to talk, my door’s always open. If I can get this goddamn keycard to work that is.”

“I appreciate it. Maybe we can grab coffee or brunch sometime.”

“That would be great! I’m gone a lot with work, but I’ll check my schedule once I get settled and we’ll find a time. Thanks so much for helping me get in here,” she says as she wedges her door open with her foot and leans forward to give me a hug. “I hope your day gets better.”

Me too, Kennedy. Me fucking too.