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maggie

M ilwaukee in late summer is the most beautiful place on Earth.

Seventy-five degrees with low humidity from the cool breeze off the lake and seagulls flying above.

Walking through the Third Ward neighborhood is like being transported back in time.

The worn brick buildings, with their cracking exteriors, cleverly hide the newly modern interiors.

It’s like they’ve come back from vacation with cracked, peeling skin, feeling refreshed underneath.

If only my post-vacation haze felt like that.

It’s been four weeks since we all got back from the Dominican Republic.

Four weeks since I walked away from the man who has my whole heart clutched in his hands.

Four weeks since I stumbled home and cried myself to sleep in my empty bed wishing he was in it with me.

But the bad-ass-bitch I am has to be all self-righteous and, as much as this sucks, I know I made the right decision for me .

I can’t be with someone based on what they could become.

I have to accept them as they are right now because, more than likely, they never change.

I know he can get past this. I know in my heart he’s capable.

I just…I don’t want him to go through this alone, but he ha s to be the one to take the first step.

But realizing that and living it are two very different things.

The battle between my aching heart and my badassery has not been fun.

Especially because Melissa is a bitch... she won’t let me give up on him.

Walking up to the address Bougie sent me, some of my tension eases as I see his forever cheerful-self flagging me down.

“Maggie! Thanks for meeting me,” he says pulling me in for a hug.

“You say the words ‘potential client’ and I’m here.” I step back from him as my gaze drifts toward the revolving door on the building. “This is such a cool area of town. I’m already in love with the idea of grabbing coffee across the street for meetings here.”

“Right?! I told the client who purchased this space that everyone would love the location.”

“It is amazing.” I can’t help looking around again, too easily picturing myself here. “So, what is the business anyway? I feel unprepared since I haven’t done any research.”

He waves his hand dismissing my doubt. “Don’t worry about that. With your background and skills I’m confident you’ll be fine.” He gestures me toward the entrance. “Let’s head inside. I’ll show you around and introduce you.”

I follow him through the doors, past the security guard who waves us in, and we head up the elevator to the top floor, then down a long hallway.

I already love this building, there’s so much history in the crumbling brickwork, but the inside is the cherry on top.

The floors are gorgeous, refinished hardwood and the exposed masonry only highlight the depth within them.

I take a deep breath, biting the inside of my cheek.

God, what I wouldn’t give to work in a place like this.

What an upgrade it would be compared to the shit building with water-stained ceilings I’m stuck in at Lakeshore.

Fuck, I really need to trust myself and start my own company for real. It’s time to be all in .

We finally stop outside an office suite and Bougie hands me a swipe card. I narrow my brows, tilting my head as my eye catches a sign on the door.

“Umm…Bougie, why are my initials on this door?”

He shrugs, a mischievous smile on his face. “Why don’t you head inside,” he says, nodding toward the door. “And hey, promise me you’ll listen to what this guy has to say. Give this…” he clears his throat, “ business a chance.”

My pulse races with a nervous excitement as I swipe the card to pop open the door. I step in, but Bougie remains in the hallway, waving his hand to shoo me inside. What the fuck is going on?

The door closes behind me as I walk into the space.

It has the same refinished hardwood floors as the rest of the building but inside are giant windows providing an amazing amount of natural light and a perfect view of the lake.

There are turquoise, velvet guest chairs and a matching couch placed on a fancy-ass rug surrounded by built-in shelving, crown molding, and track lighting highlighting perfect spaces to display campaigns.

This is cool as shit. My head spins, my heart racing like the speedboats on the lake. Who is this client?

I continue to explore the space, looking for any signs of life, and finally stepping toward a glass wall leading into what appears to be an office.

As I round the corner to walk inside, my heart stops.

The air in my lungs disappears. I take a half step forward, then a half step back.

Standing in front of me is the man I’ve loved, hated, and everything in between.

The man I’ve been worrying about for weeks.

The man I haven’t stopped thinking about for almost a year.

“Hello, Magdalina.”

I shake my head, not knowing what to think. “Vladi?” I mumble with a shaky breath. “What the hell is going on?”

“Can we talk?” I notice him cracking his knuckles at his sides, the fitted suit and coordinated tie perfectly matching the water we swam in all those weeks ago.

My breath catches. He’s not doing it out of fear or wanting to punch someone .

The realization sends a spark through my veins.

He’s nervous . I purse my lips, hiding the smile daring to creep up, and nod as he gestures to the couch in the seating area.

I take a seat with him sitting down next to me. He’s far enough away that we aren’t touching, but close enough to where I could reach out and hold his hand if I wanted to. God, I want to touch him. He’s right there. My Vladi.

He clears his throat before his deep voice echoes through the open space.

“I want to start by saying I’m sorry. Again.

I don’t want to keep apologizing to you for the rest of your life, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to help it.

I’m…I’m a flawed man. I have issues. I’m working on them, truly working on them, but I want to start off by saying I’m sorry. For everything.”

“Vladi, you don’t have to?—”

“No. I’m talking today. You listen.”

I raise my brows because… wow . Here I am on the verge of tears hearing him apologize like this but also so turned on from him being demanding, I want a repeat of our janitor closet adventure.

I don’t always like him telling me what to do, and I’m still not sure what the fuck is going on here, but him saying he’s sorry and telling me to shut up has my thighs squeezing together.

Focus, Maggie! Focus on the man apologizing to you, not his hotness. He needs to apologize. Focus.

I zip my lips, tucking the imaginary key in my purse.

“Good. As I was saying, I’m sorry for everything.

I never should have left you that first night.

But I wasn’t sure what was happening. You…

you made me feel things I’ve never felt before.

I wasn’t in the frame of mind to deal with what I was experiencing, even though I wanted something more with you after that first night.

“You were right. I was scared. I am still scared. But I’m realizing that it’s okay to feel that way.

I’m learning different ways to deal with this…

tightness in my chest. I started seeing a therapist twice a week, and she’s taught me some techniques to stay calm.

She taught me one where I find five things in the room I can see, four things I can touch, three things I can hear, two things I can smell, and one thing I can taste.

And some breathing exercises to help me when things get overwhelming. ”

He’s going to therapy? My eyes burn as I lose the fight against them. Fuck these damn tears. I reach over to take his hand, relaxing into a touch I’ve wanted for so long. I’m so damn proud of him.

“I also want to apologize for a few more things. I’m sorry for not reaching out to you these past few weeks.

I should have never let you walk away. But you told me to figure out what caring for you meant.

Amy, my therapist, told me you were right.

I needed to figure it out and I needed time to do that. ”

I lift my chin. “I kinda like her saying I was right.”

He chuckles, my heart soaring at the sound it’s longed to hear again. “Don’t get used to it.” He squeezes my fingers. “You would like her for sure. She doesn’t let me take the easy way out. Kind of like you.”

I look down at our clasped hands as I bite the inside of my cheek.

“I also realized that, while I needed to work on some things on my own, I don’t need to be such a lone wolf all the time.

So, I am here to ask for your help. You’ve helped me see things in a different light, helped me find the joy that’s been missing for a long time.

And I miss that. I miss you. And, if you’d like to,” he pauses, swallowing hard, “I want to do this together. With you.”

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

“I also have one more thing I need to apologize to you for.”

A watery laugh bursts from me. “And what would that be? Stealing another pair of my panties? ”

He laughs as he shakes his head. “No. I’m not sorry about that at all,” he says as he scoots closer, our hands still clasped between us, his thumb gently rubbing across my skin.

“You said something that night at the resort, and it hasn’t left my mind since.

You said you couldn’t be with someone you were in love with if they didn’t let you live your own life. ”

My heart drops, my gaze sliding to the floor. The weight of those three words I let fly so recklessly have weighed me down like a lead balloon. I fucking knew I should not have said that. I should take it back.

“Vladi, I didn’t mean to?—”

“I’m sorry I didn’t say it back,” he interrupts. My eyes fly to his and I swallow hard, my throat bone dry. Breathe, Maggie, fucking breathe. “I’m sorry I didn’t chase you down and tell you then. I’m sorry for every day since then I haven’t said it back.”

I freeze, paralyzed by what I think he’s about to say. He squeezes my hand as I stare back into his eyes, a sparkle there that I haven’t seen before.

“I love you, Magdalina James. I have for a long time. I just didn’t know it.

I didn’t know what love meant. I didn’t want to admit to myself I felt that way about someone.

Everyone I’ve ever loved has left me. My mother.

My father. The boy I was all those years ago.

I was scared that I was cursed. That if I loved you, I would lose you.

I am still scared of not being able to protect you.

But, I’d rather have you in my life for as long as we have each other, than live with the heartache of not having you at all.

“I’m in love with you, and I will spend every last day trying to be a better man, trying to be the man you need me to be, and simply enjoying every moment we have together.

I still have a lot of work to do, and I know you won’t give me much slack on it, but somehow you found a way to breakthrough the walls I built up, and you…

you didn’t let go. You didn’t stop. You showed me that lo ve is not about being afraid of losing the person you hold dear, it’s about living every day to the fullest with them.

Enjoying every moment. Existing in the present and not worrying about the future. ”

Well, now I’m ugly crying. Goddammit, Melissa.

“You love me, Wolfie?” I whisper through my tears.

“I’ve always loved you, lisichka . I knew it from the moment we talked at that damn gala.

I love your fight, your confidence, the way you don’t put up with shit from me or anyone else.

You are my little fox, in more ways than one, and I care for you.

More than I thought possible. But it’s more than that.

I love you. And I hope you’ll find it in your stubborn, feisty heart to forgive me and that maybe… you still love me too.”