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maggie

T ears spill warm against my cheeks, the sting of his silence earlier still sitting heavy on my chest. When the fuck did I turn into a crying sap?

Probably the day I realized I was in love with this motherfucker, and now I know he doesn’t love me back.

Gasping for air, I dig my knuckles into my chest. Holy shit, did I just say that out loud? Fuck you, Melissa.

I storm away, but the jerk chases after me, again, calling out. “ Lisich —” He catches himself. “Maggie! Come back!”

“Don’t. Fucking. Follow me.” I throw the words over my shoulder, my throat thick with tears. “Go back to the reception. I don’t want to see you tonight. Go room with Bougie or someone else, just stay away from me.”

He quickly catches up, keeping pace at my side. “At least let me walk you back to the room. Please. Then I will leave.”

Dammit. I slow my rage walk, empathy cracking my heart in two.

I don’t want to be around him, but I fucking know what this is doing to him and how triggered he is by tonight, last night, and literally everything else.

I want to punch him in the face and hug him all at once.

Part of me hates myself for caring so much. Fuck this damn love shit.

I keep my gaze straight ahead, knowing if I see the pain that surely sits behind his eyes, my heart will shatter. And I can’t help him. Not now.

“No. I will walk back to the reception with you, then Kara can take me back to the room. Will that work for you, Vladimir ?”

Out of the corner of my eye I see his shoulders slump forward. “Yes. Thank you,” he says, a heaviness in his voice. “I’m sorry.”

“Good for you,” I grumble, stomping forward once more.

“Maggie, no. I’m…I’m sorry I can’t be what you need.”

His words stop me in my tracks, hitting me like a punch to the gut and driving all the air from my lungs. “You know what? You are a fucking liar. And the worst part is you’re not even lying just to me, you’re lying to yourself. You’re fucking scared . You can be what I need.”

“Don’t you get it?!” My voice shakes as I look into his glossy eyes.

“You are what I need. I believe it. Fuck, everyone on this island probably believes it! But none of that matters if you don’t believe it yourself.

” He sucks in a sharp breath, and I see tears forming in his eyes.

I want to comfort him. I want to pull him close.

I want to hold him until his fears have all washed out into the damn Caribbean and sink to the bottom, never to return.

But I can’t. It’s not fair to me, not fair to him. I need to go.

“Goodbye, Vladi,” I whisper as I turn and do the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.

Walk away.

My lungs struggle for air as I move farther and farther from the man I long for, the man I love . But I can’t be with someone who doesn’t forgive himself, doesn’t love himself, and isn’t sure he loves me.

Kara walks me back to the room before returning to the party.

She tried to share her words of wisdom, telling me to give him a chance and let things cool off a bit.

Blah blah blah. I have to get out of here.

Now. We are all scheduled to fly back together tomorrow afternoon, but…

I don’t want to see him tomorrow. And if he can’t get his feelings figured out, I don’t know if I want to see him again ever.

I pick up my phone and call the one person who might be able to help me in this kind of a situation.

“Maggie!” Her chipper voice is a welcome distraction from the dark haze surrounding my heart. “How’s the wedding week? I’m still so bummed I couldn’t come. Of course, guard duty had to be now and my CO wouldn’t let me get out of it.”

“We’ve missed you for sure this week, Kennedy. It’s been…interesting. Hey, you have a lot of pilot friends, right? Any way you could help me get a flight out of Punta Cana as soon as humanly possible?”

“Oh damn,” the worry is evident in her voice. “Seems like I missed a lot. You okay?”

My eyes burn. “No. No, I’m not okay.”

“Alright, let me make some calls and see what I can do, then I’m calling you right back to see what’s going on.”

Collapsing on the bed, I allow the sobs I’ve been holding back to finally escape. There’s no sound. No echoing heartbreak. I have to get home. Away from him. Away from the only man I’ve ever loved. Away from the one who doesn’t love me back.