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maggie

“ M aggie Elizabeth James, no. No! You did not ,” Olivia screams when she walks into the bar space I’ve rented for tonight.

And every inch is filled with some sort of dick-o-ration.

Her cheeks are a bright shade of red, her embarrassment adorable to watch.

She may hate this stuff, but everyone else loves it.

I wrap my arms around her, resting my cheek on her head. “Oh, come on, Liv! Have a little fun.”

“Mags. I know I only have one…you know…” she looks around, making sure no one is close enough to overhear, “ penis …forever, but do I really need a sash that says that? Was all this really necessary?”

The way she whispers penis like we’re at church is hilarious.

“It is one hundred percent necessary, Olivia!” Kara screams, ripping the poor bride from my arms and walking deeper through the field of cocks. “Come on, girl! We’re gonna have fun and this mom is gonna party hard tonight!”

“Olivia!” Shelly says as she walks up to give Liv a hug. “ Congrats! I hope you don’t mind me crashing your party, but I am dying for an excuse to get away from my family this week.”

“Oh my gosh, Shelly!” Olivia squeals, hugging her tight. “It’s so good to see you again! The second Maggie told me you were here this week, I told her to invite you. The more the merrier! Sorry for all the…um…decorations.”

“Girl, I love it. I’m really hoping my conservative family walks by to see all these dicks in their favorite bar at the resort.”

“Okay, everyone,” I announce, getting everyone to quiet down. “Now that the bride is here, help yourself to food and drink. Let’s get this party started!”

“Oh, tab’s on me!” Shelly shouts as everyone cheers. “Perks to owning the resort—order whatever you like!” The entire group whoops and rushes to the bar to see what top-shelf treasures await them.

My mouth falls open, my jaw nearly hitting the floor. Holy shit. “Shelly, you do not have to pay for all this!”

“Hell yes I do, Maggie. It’s the least I can do to make up for that campaign getting cancelled.

And did I mention I love to piss my family off?

They will shit their pants when they see this bill.

Besides, I’m on my way out; please let me do this for you.

” She groans, digging a knuckle into her temple.

“I can’t wait to get out of Harbor Glow and out on my own. ”

“I’m right there with ya. I’m so sick of working for old ass men in advertising. Especially when they’re promoting all these female brands they have truly no understanding of. Speaking of brands, what are you going to call your company?”

“I haven’t got a clue…that’s what I’m going to pay you for,” she says with a wink. “After that sick campaign you came up with, I know you’ll help me come up with something amazing. What about you? Have you thought about your business name?”

My eyes widen. “Shit. No, I really haven’t thought about it. Probably something like Maggie James. I wish I could call it Maggie Fucking James.”

“Oh my God, you should do something like Maggie F James and have it be just an if you know you know type of thing.”

“Shelly, that’s genius. I knew I loved you!

Cheers to new beginnings!” We clink glasses and head over to the ridiculous amount of food.

This is way more than what I ordered, but I have a feeling my friend, and hopefully new client, added to the menu.

Working with Shelly is just the opportunity I’ve been waiting for .

Between this and the microbrewery, I may have enough to finally get out of Lakeshore Creative.

Away from Chest Bush and Coffee Breath and Sausage Fingers, and all the other ridiculous people I work with.

I can get out on my own and hire cool ass people when I get enough business.

A spark flies across my chest. God, I really hope all this works out.

After everyone has eaten and had several drinks, we watch Olivia open her gifts.

We all got her lingerie, which she acts like she doesn’t like, but I know for a fact she does.

One day at brunch, she had a little too much to drink and told me she ordered crotchless panties, and Hayes goes crazy every time she wears them.

She acts like she’s embarrassed about this, but she’s one of those quiet types you’d never expect to be a tiger in bed.

We’ve also made sure she is thoroughly embarrassed by making her take shots from a very anatomically correct penis syringe.

Finally, after the long afternoon on the boat earlier, and a lot of booze and penis shots, most of the gals head out, leaving just me, Olivia, Kara, and Shelly to clean up.

“I just want to thank everyone so much for coming.” Olivia wobbles and toasts to our small group, her eyes shimmering with tears.

“Not only for tonight, but for coming here this week to celebrate me and Hayes. I still can’t believe this isn’t a dream!

And just as much as I love Hayes, I am so happy to have all of you in my life.

Maggie, you’ve been the best friend a girl could ask for for so many years, and I love you so much.

Thank you for this party. Though,” she bites her lip, looking around the dick garden I created just for her, “I could have done without some of the decor. Kara and Shelly, I’m so grateful to have you both as well.

Thank you for making this such a special week and a special night. ”

I stand next to her, putting my head on hers. “We love you too, Liv, and we are so happy for you. Let’s get this place cleaned up and get you back to that knight of yours.”

“Wait, wait, wait, I’m not tired yet!” Kara whines. “Let’s stay a little longer. Oh! We haven’t played a game yet! This party can’t be over until we play a game!”

I look at Kara, scrambling to think of a delicate way to say this. “I’m sorry, Kara, but Liv and I hate playing party games. I promised her none and didn’t plan any.”

“Well, lucky for you, I happen to know a game we can play with no preparation.”

We all laugh, and I look to Olivia, silently asking if she’s okay with this. We both smile and shrug at one another.

“Hell…I’m in,” Shelly pipes up. “I know we just met, Kara, but as your new self-appointed bestie, I’m down for a game! What did you have in mind?”

“How about a little game of Never Have I Ever?”

Liv and I take our seats again, settling in for whatever Kara has in store. I force a smile, but my body is already longing for my bed, my buzz fading after a long-ass day.

“Everyone knows how the game works? We each go around and say something we’ve never done, and if you have done it, you take a drink.”

We all nod, understanding the rules.

“Yay! How about we let the bride go first? Then Maggie, then Shelly, and I’ll go last. ”

We all nod again, and Olivia picks up her drink, looking up at the ceiling, trying to think of something.

“Okay, I got one. Never have I ever hiked Mt. Everest.”

The entire group lets out a collective groan.

Olivia blinks, her eyes darting between all of us. “What’s wrong with my thing?”

“Olivia,” I tilt my head, giving her my best side-eye, “the point is to ask something raunchy. Dirty. Spicy. Like…it has to be something done in the bedroom.”

Her eyes widen comically large, a shocked gasp leaving her lips. “That was not explained in the rules just now.” She leans closer, cupping her hand around her mouth. “Besides, we’re in public. ”

Kara intervenes, a sneaky smirk lifting her lips. “Too bad, Liv. You’re getting married and wearing a penis around your neck. It has to be sex related.”

Olivia slumps back in her seat with a sigh. “Fine, fine. Okay, let me think of something else.” We all wait in silence, all of us staring at her in anticipation. She groans, scrunching her face while she thinks. “Maggie, you go first; it’ll give me time to think.”

“Only because you’re the bride. Never have I ever…hooked up with a co-worker.”

I look around and see only Olivia take a drink. “Oh my God, Liv; what?! WHO?!”

“Hayes, you dummy! He’s my co-worker…him as a player, me as the team anthem singer? We’re co-workers…sort of!”

I let out a deep sigh of relief. “Oh, thank God. Can you imagine hooking up with Sausage Fingers?”

Olivia cringes, her nose scrunching in disgust. “Oh God, Maggie! Don’t make me puke.”

“Okay, Shelly, you’re up!” Kara says, desperate to continue our game .

“Sweet. I have a good one,” she says with an evil grin on her face. “Never have I ever…fucked a goalie.”

I look around at my friends, all of them smirking at me, all of them holding their drinks still.

“You are evil, you know that? This is supposed to be about embarrassing Olivia, not calling me out,” I grumble, narrowing my brows as I take a drink.

“Hey, it fits the rules of the game! And I figured maybe someone in this group has done that.”

“Okay, my turn.” Kara says, excitedly shifting in her chair. “Never have I ever…wanted to fuck a Russian in my hotel room.”

I give Kara an even more annoyed look. If I didn’t love the hell out of these ladies, I would be finding a new friend group. “I do not want to fuck him.”

“The hell you don’t, Maggie!” Shelly yells out, high-fiving Kara next to her. Then she starts a chant of “Drink it! Drink it! Drink it!” and everyone chimes in.

Fuck, if it isn’t the truth . Maybe it’s the alcohol, or maybe it’s just these three being my besties, but I can’t hold back how I’ve been feeling all week anymore.

“Okay, okay, fine! I want to fuck him. Is that what you all want to hear? He’s sexy as hell and sleeping in bed next to me, which is fucking torture , so yes, I want to fuck Vladi!

” I shout at the top of my lungs like Leo screaming off the front of the boat.

I chug back the rest of my drink and slam it down the table, expecting cheers and laughter from my friends.

Instead, all my girlfriends’ eyes go wide, and I see Liv’s jaw on the floor.

Something is wrong . My stomach drops, my heart is racing, and not from the booze. Something is very wrong.

“What?! Do I have something on my face? What are you all staring at?!” I ask, my voice panicked.

Kara, her hand over her mouth, juts her chin in the direction behind me, and a pit forms in my stomach.

What the hell is going on? Slowly, I turn around to see none other than my roommate, who I just publicly declared I want to fuck, standing behind me with Hayes and Zack at his side.

His wide eyes meet mine for an instant before I snap my head back to the table in front of me.

“Fuck,” I mutter under my breath. All the mortification I have subjected the bride to has now suddenly been thrust back at me.

Hayes clears his throat. “We, uh…we just wanted to walk you ladies back to the rooms and see if you needed help cleaning up. Vladi mentioned there were a lot of… tasteful decorations, and I see he was right.”

Do not panic, Maggie. Breathe. There’s a small, microscopic chance in hell he didn’t hear you.

Spots dance across my vision. Melissa Joan Heart, I could really use your help right now, so please calm yourself down.

I can’t look him in the eye. I refuse to acknowledge the burning in my eyes, my chest. There must be an earthquake happening that no one else can feel because my hands will not stop shaking.

I can’t cry. I am Maggie fucking James. Maybe I can just laugh this off?

Act like it was a big joke? Shit. I bite the inside of my cheek.

I know that damn wolf will see right through me.

He sees everything. Panic continues to build in my chest, clawing up to my throat, which is unbelievably tight right now. There is only one thing to do.

Run.