Page 31

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

-Clay-

I COULDN’T GET the water hot enough to wash away the feel of Ulgar’s hands.

He hadn’t…entered me—I felt sick at the thought—Arcay came back just in time. But I’d felt the huge, blunt head of his cock pressing against my hole as he’d lined himself up. One thrust and he would have torn me open. I shuddered at the ghost of the feeling and scrubbed myself until my skin was pink and raw.

I was still jittery from the encounter, my limbs heavy. I was still shaky, but now it was with anger. Maybe Arcay should kill that asshole.

I climbed out of the pool and dried off in the hot box, wrapping a soft towel around myself. The bath had helped a little, but my guts still churned at what could have happened.

Outside, Arcay paced stiffly back and forth, his body tense with fury. He hadn’t let me out of his sight since Ulgar had crawled away, only allowing me some privacy to wash. But he’d stood guard outside the bathroom as if someone might try to sneak in and get me. It actually made me feel better knowing he was there to protect me.

He stopped when he saw me and straightened. “Are you ok?”

“Yes Arcay, I’m still fine.”

He breathed out in relief and nodded, then turned as Lendel appeared, wringing his hands.

“Well, what did he say?” Arcay demanded.

Lendel didn’t look happy. “The First is not decided on how to deal with this, Arani . But, in the meantime, Ulgar has been ordered to remain in his quarters.”

“What?” Arcay roared.

Lendel took a step back and raised his hands defensively. “I am only telling you what I know.”

“If Jursin does not do anything about this I will kill Ulgar myself,” Arcay said. He went back to pacing furiously, looking like he was looking for something to punch.

“Look, we all know you can’t do that, Arcay. You’d probably get in more trouble than Ulgar—which is just fucked up—but there’s no point in getting all angry about it and rampaging around.”

Arcay spun on me then, his face drawn.

“He attempted to claim you, Clay. How could I be anything but angry?”

“Yeah, he tried, but he didn’t. And I’m fine, so…”

I trailed off. I didn’t feel fine, but it was shocking to see him like this. He was usually either grumpy, angry, or endearingly awkward. But the look on his face was so raw and painful—it made me think he might be more torn up about what happened than I was.

“Clay,” he said, a rough, pleading edge to his voice. “Please, you must allow me to claim you. It is the only way I can keep you safe.”

“Why? Why does it have to be that ? Why would being claimed stop him, when everything else won’t?”

“After we are mated your pheromones are no longer potent to other alphas, and our bond will be unbreakable.”

“Unbreakable how?” I asked, feeling my stomach clench.

“We would be…it is hard to translate…soul bound. We would belong together. No other alpha could come between us, or attempt to take you away from me.”

So it was like marriage, then. I was right, but in the old-fashioned way; I’d belong to Arcay like a 50’s housewife. Chained to his side with no autonomy or free will. But was it worse to deny him and possibly end up belonging to Ulgar instead? And how would that work when my crew came back for me? Surely it would only complicate things, make it harder for me to leave if I was bound here by some soul contract to Arcay. If I could just stay safe until they came back, I’d be ok. Surely Jursin could do something, make up some new law. He was like the king, wasn’t he?

“I need to talk to Jursin,” I said.

Arcay’s face closed off. “No, absolutely not.”

“If I can just convince him, maybe I can—”

“You will not step a foot outside of my quarters.” He drew himself up to his full height, powerful and awe-inspiring.

When he first took me, that would have had me flinching back in fear. But I’d seen the big, purple puppy fall off a Kraat, so it wasn’t going to work on me now. I realized I wasn’t scared of him, even in the slightest, and the absolute lack of fear made my heart race. I pursed my lips.

“Arcay, I’m going to talk to him. You can come with me, or you can stay here.”

Arcay deflated satisfyingly, and I almost laughed at how comically confused he looked that his usual intimidation technique didn’t work on me.

I went into the bedroom to get dressed, him trailing behind me. Arcay had been quick in getting some ‘pants’ made for me, although they were more like lycra shorts. One step at a time.

“But I need to keep you safe,” he said.

I pulled them on, along with the gauzy, open shirt that had been laid out for me.

“Then come with me, and do that grumpy face at anyone who comes near. I’m sure they’ll run away.”

***

ON THE WAY , Arcay was tense, keeping me close to his side. Every time we passed someone, he would snarl and shield me with his body like a big, overprotective dog. It would have been funny if I wasn’t so scared. Every time an alpha approached, I remembered the feel of Ulgar’s hands on me and shuddered, pressing in closer to his side.

We made it to Jursin’s quarters without any incidents. The guards outside gave me a wary once over until Arcay stepped in front of me, his lip curled back to show his fangs. They looked away quickly and waved us in.

We found Jursin in a small, walled garden, watching a shorter Aldar with bright, lilac skin tending to the plants, his arms crossed over his broad chest. Was that his omega mate? I’d never seen one before. They looked the same as the rest of them—a bit bigger than a beta, but more colorful, like they had the saturation turned right up. I couldn’t see anything particularly special about them. Nothing to explain why they were so coveted, apart from the whole ‘they smell good’ thing. What could omegas do that the others couldn’t?

The guard accompanying us stood to one side as Jursin acknowledged us with an arched eyebrow.

“I did not think it would be long until you came to see me, Arcay. But I am surprised to see the human omega here as well,” he said in Aldarian. Lendel had reminded me to take the translator with me, tied to a sash that hung across my chest, and it churned his words out.

Arcay growled. “Why are you not taking any action against Ulgar?” he demanded in Panlin. “He has broken our laws and needs to be punished.”

Jursin’s face sharpened, and after a moment of tension Arcay averted his eyes like an angry scolded child.

“You can hardly blame Ulgar for his actions when you refuse to do the most basic role of an alpha,” Jursin said.

Arcay flinched. It was barely noticeable if you didn’t know what to look for, a slight twitch in his jaw, but Jursin’s words stung. It made me clench my hands, suddenly angry.

“Hey, it’s not his fault, ok? I haven’t let him claim me,” I snapped. “But that’s beside the point. You can’t blame us that Ulgar has no fucking self-control.”

Jursin flicked his eyes to me, shocked that I had spoken. They felt heavy somehow, and I had to concentrate not to wilt under his gaze as he looked me up and down, flaring his nostrils. This guy was even more intense than Arcay.

“You are the cause of all this trouble. An omega cannot refuse to be claimed,” he ground out in Panlin.

I stuck my chin out. “You’ve clearly never met a human omega before.”

He narrowed his eyes at me. “Why would you want to refuse? It is a joy to be bound.” His face looked anything but joyful. Then he turned back at Arcay, dismissing me. “The reasons do not matter. You should have claimed him straight away, as I instructed you to. You have brought this upon yourself.”

Arcay ducked his head, and I was just about to open my mouth to give this asshole a piece of my mind, when, a short distance away, the smaller Aldar popped their head up. “Juri,” they called. “Perhaps you should have something to eat, you know you get agitated when you are hungry.”

It was only when Jursin turned to them and heaved a put upon sigh that I realized the omega was talking to him. Juri?

Jursin turned back to us, looking sullen. And the omega called again.

“And don’t get grumpy with me just because you know I’m right.”

Jursin rolled his jaw. He snatched a small, yellow fruit off a plant by his side and crushed it between his teeth, then swallowed.

“There you go, that’s better isn’t it?” the omega said.

“Yes Trilla,” Jursin said in a voice both pissed off and affectionate.

Trilla stood, tucking a small digging tool into a pouch on their belt, and looked over at Arcay with a fond expression that was almost motherly.

“Don’t take his words to heart, Arcay, he has had a tense morning. He does not mean them to be so hurtful.” They approached, gliding through the delicate plants with care, and stopped at Jursin’s side, casting their eyes over me. “I know it’s hard to tell, but he has always had a soft spot for Arcay.”

I almost scoffed. This guy had a soft spot? It looked like he didn’t even know what the word ‘soft’ meant.

Jursin cleared his throat, looking more awkward than I’d ever thought it possible for him to look.

“Arcay is the best of us. You could not ask for a better mate.”

Beside me, Arcay swelled with pride.

“So tell me, human omega Clay, why do you refuse to be bound to him?”

The silence that followed was heavy, all attention on me. I shifted. I glanced over at Arcay who stared back at me, eyes open. Well, this was awkward.

“Look. I can’t stay here forever. My guys are coming back for me, and it’ll only make it more complicated if I’m in some kind of marriage contract—”

“Your people are not taking you back,” Jursin said.

I rounded on him, “You can try to stop them all you like, but there’s no way they’re going to let you get away—”

Jursin cut me off again, impatient. “Let me rephrase that. Your people are not coming to retrieve you. They have made no attempt to try to get you back.”

There was a moment of silence. “What?”

“We have not had any communications from humans—concerning you or otherwise. And my sources tell me that there is no attempted mission to retrieve you.”

I blinked. No, that couldn’t be right. They were coming back for me; they had to be. They wouldn’t just leave me here.

“How would you know?” I said, sounding more like a petulant teenager than I would have liked.

“I understand that it may be upsetting for you, but I would indeed know. And they are not. You have my word.”

I shook my head. “You’re lying,” I said. “Your word doesn’t mean anything to me. You’re just trying to trick me into being claimed.”

But he seemed unbothered by my accusations. “I can assure you, I am not. But you can see the records and reports if it will give you some peace of mind.”

I glanced over at Arcay, whose expression was as neutral as ever, but there was tension in his shoulders.

I glared at Jursin. “Fine, let me see.”

It couldn’t be true. Whatever game he was trying to play it wasn’t going to work.

***

AT FIRST, THE screen of text didn’t mean anything to me. They had to translate it into Panlin so I could actually read it, which took a lot of messing around. Even after I could read the words—and numbers— it still didn’t make sense straight away. But as I kept reading, a pit opened up in my stomach. No ships, no communication, no activity. Jursin was right—they weren’t coming back for me.

I stared at the screen of text long after it stopped having any meaning, and the words started to blur and run together.

The only people who knew where I was had abandoned me. They’d escaped with their lives and not looked back. I guess I wasn’t worth the danger.

I was completely numb.

Caldwell.

Martinez.

The captain.

Sure, they had their own lives to protect, I understood that. They had people who loved them, depended on them. And who did I have? No one. Nothing. So it wasn’t worth risking their lives to get me back with so much at stake. I got that. But no matter how logically I tried to process it, bitterness coiled inside me. My crew was the closest thing I had to a family, and I thought they cared about me. Clearly, I was wrong.

After that, things happened in a blur. I was aware of Arcay leading me away, of walking with his body pressed next to mine, the warm contact of his skin. An open archway passed us on the left, and I moved towards it, drawn by something. Arcay’s hand closed around my arm, pulling me back. He said something, but I shrugged his hand away and kept going until I was standing in front of a wide viewing platform, the expanse of space laid out in front of me. The stupid anomaly swirled and twisted in the middle distance, and I felt a surge of hatred towards it. It had brought me here, and it had taken my crew away. They didn’t care about me. No one cared about me.

I looked up at movement by my side. Arcay stepped up next to me, watching me solemnly, concern creasing his handsome face.

No, it wasn’t true that no one cared about me. Arcay cared. He was the only one in the whole universe who did.

“Where are we?” I asked, looking around. The room was huge and empty, with only a solid bench in the center and a rickety looking walkway high overhead that screamed ‘death trap’.

“This is the observation deck,” Arcay said quietly. “We are right at the top of the ship. I have not been here in years.”

How had I managed to wander all the way up here? “Why not?”

He tilted his head, considering it. “It is out of the way and serves no real purpose. No one comes here.”

“That’s a shame.”

He studied me, his brow creased.

“Are you ok?” he asked.

“No,” I said.

His throat moved as he swallowed, and he lowered his head. “I apologize Clay. I have failed you.”

“What? How?”

“I could not protect you from Ulgar. It destroys me. And I am afraid that it will happen again.”

He looked really upset. Ever since Ulgar had gotten into our room he’d looked angry, worried, but not sad. It looked weird on him, and it made my insides hurt, like a knife stabbing into my guts. I didn’t like it. At all. And I could blame it on Ulgar, but it was just as much my own fault too.

Ok, it was way less my fault and mainly Ulgar’s, because it’s not that hard to just not assault someone, but it wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t been so stubborn and refused to let him claim me. Because, if I was honest, I’d wanted him to for a while now, but had kept clinging on to my stupid fears. Why was it so hard for me to commit?

I stared out at the view again. A sea of twinkling stars, nebulae, planets, and moons. It was beautiful.

“If an alien ship abducted me, would you try to get me back?” I asked.

He leaned in and took my jaw in his hand, staring into my eyes.

“I would not hesitate to destroy everyone that stood in my way.”

My own people might not give a shit about me, but this tall, fiercely beautiful creature did. And maybe that was all I needed. What did I have to go back to? A lonely apartment. Nights of drinking myself into a daze and fucking random strangers, and days spent alone. Now that I thought about it, that didn’t really feel like freedom at all. It felt like loneliness.

If I was stuck here, why not be stuck here with him?

“Fuck it,” I muttered.

“What?”

“Let’s do it.”