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“Yeah, first was when I met you”—my hand cupped her belly—“second when we made this one, third will be when they’re born, and fourth is when we get to see them properly in the scan. Second and third are tied though.”

“Tan—”

“Come on,” I leaned in, taking the opportunity to brush my lips against her ear before she kept looking at me the way she was looking right now, like she didn’t know whether to cry or not. “The quicker we get the stroller, the quicker I can take you home and fuck you into oblivion again.”

As predicted, Millie’s cheeks flushed, and for all I knew, she was about to protest, but I felt the telltale shiver of anticipation from under my palm still on her belly. My dick twitched with it.

“ Tanner . Why do you have to say something so lovely then ruin it all?”

“Ruin? Oh, I can definitely show you how good I ruin later.” I winked, only for her to shake her head, waiting for an answer. “To keep you on your toes, Mama Bear. Why else? ”

Millie might have tutted loudly in response, but I didn’t miss the curve of a smile as she took off after Julie.

I ambled behind them, soaking in all the baby paraphernalia, perusing through the various children’s storybooks I’d found dotted about the place.

Pulling up Lucas’s list again, I wondered if he had a section on best baby stories to read, but there was nothing, so I tucked a couple under my arm that I liked the look of.

What I did find was the section on strollers, and as luck would have it, the one Lucas had marked as his favorite was the one Julie recommended. We took it.

We also added a baby sling, a machine that looked like it made espresso but actually made baby bottles, a diaper changing table and chest of drawers, and a bouncy thing before I heard Millie’s stomach rumble loudly, and I decided to call time.

We needed days in this place, and not just half a morning.

Tugging Millie’s hand before she wandered into the next section, I whispered, “The Four Seasons is around the corner, I could murder one of their burgers. Whaddya say?”

I’d never seen her look so happy.

“Yes please.”

Half an hour later, after we’d made delivery arrangements with Julie and a date for another appointment that Millie would come to with Radley, we were seated at our table, hungrily awaiting the burgers and fries we’d both ordered.

The restaurant here was always busy, but today seemed particularly so, filled with a strange combination of suits and tourists.

I thought I’d gotten away with no one asking for photos this morning, but that changed after we stepped through the doors of the hotel and I got stopped three times in the lobby.

If we hadn’t been so hungry, I would have stayed out there longer.

“Do you want to find out what we’re having?” she asked, putting down the cookies and cream milkshake she was slurping her way through. I’d stuck with water.

“I don’t know, do you?”

“It’ll be easier to come up with names, I guess.”

“Have you thought of any?”

She shook her head. “No, have you?”

“Yes. Just one,” I told her right as the server arrived with a tray loaded up with our lunch. Snatching a scalding fry from the jar, I threw it in my mouth. “What was your dad called?”

“Brady, why?” she replied, smiling up at the server while simultaneously taking the biggest bite of her burger I’d ever seen.

“Because I think that if we have a boy, we should name him after your dad.” I shrugged, trying to keep it as casual as possible, mostly because I didn’t want to upset her. “If you’d like that.”

Immediately her eyes filled like I expected them to, except I probably should have waited until she’d swallowed her giant mouthful to mention it.

“You’d do that?” she said finally, wiping her eyes.

“Yes. Brady Simpson or Brady Robinson-Simpson, if you want. Has a nice ring to it, future Hall of Famer, for sure.”

“You think? ”

“Definitely.”

“What about girls’ names?”

Girls’ names weren’t anything I’d ever given much thought to. I ran through the list of girls I’d known, a very short list of ex-girlfriends, and immediately struck them off, until I remembered the one I’d loved with all my heart.

“What about Poppy?”

“Poppy? Poppy . Poppy Simpson. Yeah, I like it,” she replied, before her expression morphed into suspicion. “Wait, you’ve not had sex with a Poppy, right?”

I laughed. “No. She was my first dog growing up.”

“Oh. Oh. Then, sure. That’s cute. What kind of dog was she?”

“A golden retriever.”

Millie’s eyes lit up. “That’s what we have. He’s called Brinkley.”

“They’re the best, I’d love another but it’s not fair while I’m on the road. Good family dogs,” I added.

“Are you suggesting we get one with a baby?”

“No. I wasn’t.” I shook my head, grinning widely at her raised brows. “I wasn’t. I promise.”

“Because we have our hands full.”

“I know,” I agreed and picked up my burger.

Sinking my teeth in, I chewed slowly, Millie doing the same, though I doubted it was for the same reasons.

I wanted to buy myself some thinking space.

I’d made a mess of things the last time I’d brought it up, and I needed to get it right because I had to know what happened, and there would also never be a good time to ask.

But we were not in the same space we had been five months ago; we knew each other better.

Rinsing my mouthful down with a sip of water, I wiped my hands and sat forward .

“Can I ask you something?”

“Yes.” She nodded.

“What happened the day we first had sex? Why did you freak out?”

“I didn’t freak out,” she answered, so quickly I knew I’d hit a nerve.

“You freaked out.”

Millie let out a deep sigh. “Okay…Maybe I freaked out a little.”

“Was it something I did?” I asked, trying and failing to keep the pretense that I didn’t care from my voice, but I’d thought about that day more than I liked.

“No. No.” She shook her head as she worried her lip. “Not directly.”

“What does that mean?”

She glanced up at me, her chocolatey eyes locking onto mine.

“Millie?” I tried again when she stayed silent.

“Fine. I didn’t want to be on the list.”

“The list? What list?”

“The list of girls you’d slept with.”

I opened my mouth to say something, then closed it again.

I wasn’t entirely sure how to respond. I could say there was no list. None I’d made anyway, but I could tell she wasn’t exactly talking about a physical list. She didn’t want to be associated with anyone I’d slept with, and I needed to figure out how to explain to her that would never ever be the case.

“I’ve seen enough of the baseball life, Tanner. I know how it works. The girls are everywhere.”

I couldn’t disagree. “Yes, they are. ”

“I didn’t want to be one of them.” She huffed a laugh, one I didn’t like the sound of, while peering down at her belly. “I don’t want to be one of them.”

I nodded again, I didn’t blame her. But before she could open her mouth to speak again, I held my hand up to silence her.

“First things first. I’m not going to lie and say I haven’t slept with any of the fans. I have. And last year with Ace and Cosmo ?—”

“What?”

I waved her off. “Long story, I’ll explain another time.

What I’m saying is, yes, there are girls out there I’ve slept with.

Just like I’m sure there are guys out there you’ve slept with.

” Even muttering those words was like someone had reached into my chest and slowly pulled out my organs.

“But since the first time you snarled at me while I was writhing in pain on the floor after being put on my ass by the Secret Service, I have not so much as looked at another woman. But you are not, nor ever will be, on a list of girls I’ve slept with.

The only list I have pertains to my future, it’s the only one that matters, and the name at the top is yours .

You’re the only name on there. You . My future. ”

She didn’t say anything, just stared at me while running her thumb back and forth along her lip. I hoped the words were sinking in with each swipe. I picked up my water glass and sipped.

“Really?” she asked eventually.

“Really. There’s no one else and never has been. I know we’re still getting to know each other, but you can’t deny we’re incredible together. I’ve never had sex like that with anyone else. If you say you have, then I’ll hunt him down and throw him off the Brooklyn Bridge.”

A smile tugged at her lips. “I haven’t.”

“Then what? Our futures are tied together, don’t we owe it to each other to try?”

She pulled an elastic ribbon off her wrist I hadn’t noticed before, and did that thing girls do—securing her hair up in a messy knot thing—without using a brush or mirror, and always managing to make it look so fucking sexy.

“You’re right, our futures are tied together,” she said, rubbing a hand over her belly, “and we’re good now, but what if we mess things up? We have someone else to consider. I don’t want to risk it and cause unnecessary pain. I’ve already had enough to last a lifetime.”

Reaching out, I took her hand in mine. “I can’t imagine how hard it was to lose your dad, but that’s not the reason to put your life on hold, and he wouldn’t want you to either. You need to have more faith, Mills. We are going to make mistakes, but that doesn’t mean we can’t learn from them too.”

Millie stared at me, slowly blinking while her brain weighed up the argument. I could almost see the cogs spinning as she chewed her lip.

“I don’t know, Tan, we’d need to start so slow.” She said eventually.

“You want to let me take you home and show you exactly how slow we can start?”

Her pupils dilating was all the answer she needed to give.

I signaled the server for the check. “Eat up.”