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It dawned on me that this was the first time I’d ever spent time in Tanner’s company, just the two of us.

Usually, I avoided him at all costs, because as I said before, he was the most annoying human being I’d ever met.

Like an Energizer Bunny on steroids, and for some reason, that energy was usually directed at me.

In the year since our best friends started dating each other, Tanner seemed to have made it his life’s work to get me to notice him.

Oh boy, I’d noticed him all right, but not in the way I imagined he was used to. Or the way he wanted.

No doubt it was a chase he played with all girls, except I had no intention of getting caught.

Guys like Tanner Simpson went through girls like a kid through candy.

It seemed the only reason he was yet to get bored was because I ignored him most of the time, if I wasn’t ignoring him, I was arguing with him.

It was a game I’d become an unwilling participant in.

Plus, I wasn’t looking for some awkward entanglement, especially as my best friend was in love with his best friend.

But this Tanner, the one who knew instinctively what to do when a girl cried, and seemed to be able to hold a conversation without making any kind of innuendo or suggestion of us getting together, wasn’t a Tanner I’d met before.

He was simply sitting opposite me, drinking his coffee, genuinely interested in why I was upset and wanting to help.

Something I was finding alarming and appealing in equal quantities.

I nodded, taking a deep breath. “Yeah, kinda, my mom has a new boyfriend?—”

Quick as a flash, Tanner’s eyes darkened and a snarl pulled his lip. “Did he do something? Tell me he didn’t do anything. If anyone laid a finger on you…”

I held my hand up to silence him. “No, nothing like that. And he’s not that new, but she called me yesterday to tell me he was going to move in and she needed to clear some space for him.

And she was planning to donate some of my dad’s old stuff—suits, shirts, old things we hadn’t been ready to get rid of.

I’m still not sure I’m ready, and I kind of lost it.

” The well of emotion rose up in my throat, and I took another big sniff.

“We had a huge argument, and I took the train home yesterday afternoon, packed up everything important to me, and caught the first train back here. That box has old photos and notes, things that belong to my dad, an old ashtray I’d made in school when I was a kid…

The suitcase was all his old shirts and sweaters. ”

Tanner’s eyes widened. I don’t think I’d ever been close enough to him or stared at him long enough to notice the ring of navy around the edge of his iris or the tiny marble flecks blending into it, making them appear even bluer.

“You came from D.C. this morning?”

“Yeah.”

“Does your mom know you came back?”

I nodded. “Yeah, she heard the Uber pick me up. It’s not her fault, I want her to be happy…but it’s my dad. If she donates it all…” I didn’t finish the sentence. I couldn’t. My throat was closing and I really didn’t want another round of tears. I blinked them away before any could fall.

He waited for a second, his full lips rolling into each other. “How did your dad die?”

Putting down my cup, I picked up one of Tanner’s empty packets of sugar just for something to do.

I didn’t talk about my dad much, not because I didn’t want to but because it always led to more questions I wasn’t always ready to answer.

Or in the frame of mind to answer. My dad’s job was important for the safety of the United States, but it put him in danger and ultimately took him from his family.

“He was in the CIA with Radley’s dad. He was killed on a mission.

” I shrugged, trying to pass it off as nonchalance, because even though it had been four years, I still needed to swallow down the anger I held.

And some days I missed him so much it shook my bones.

“I don’t know what happened. But he went to work and didn’t come home, and now there’s a stupid star on a wall at Langley. ”

To Tanner’s credit, he didn’t pull one of those expressions people did when they found out a relative had died, the head-bobby kind of one where they didn’t know what to say but wanted to tell you how sorry they were. That head bob was multiplied a hundred times over when anyone heard about my dad.

Instead, he sipped his coffee.

“Can’t Radley’s mom tell you, given she’s the president and all?”

“She told my mom they were in Iran, and they got caught up in some bad intel and ambushed. He wasn’t the only one who died, that’s all I know. At least we got his body back.” I pulled out a napkin from the dispenser to wipe my nose.

I wanted to ask what he was thinking as he held me with his gaze, but it broke when two plates, piled high with eggs, toast, waffles, bacon, and fruit, along with little cups of maple syrup and whipped cream, were placed in front of us. It was enough food to feed a family for a week.

“Want more coffee?” asked Giuseppe.

“Nah, I think we’re good for the moment. This looks awesome as always.” The earnestness Tanner had been staring at me with vanished as he glanced up at Giuseppe and grinned.

“I added some extra bacon just how you like it.”

“Thanks, man, you’re the best. I’ll hold some tickets for you this week if you want them.”

“Hell yeah, you’re playing the Mets. I’m not missing that.” Giuseppe nodded to the food. “I want clean plates.”

There was no way I could finish all this .

“I’ll eat what you can’t,” Tanner added, taking in my wide eyes as Giuseppe walked back to the kitchens.

“Thank you.” I picked up my fork and dug in, deciding to change the subject. My brain needed to think about happier things. “So, what did I miss this morning?”

If my mom hadn’t called me yesterday afternoon to talk to me about Doug moving in, I would have been at Tanner’s apartment having breakfast, along with Radley and the rest of his roommates to watch movies on their first day off since the beginning of the baseball season.

Instead, I’d been sitting at Union Station waiting for the first train back to New York.

“Scout stayed over.”

I put down my fork and looked at Tanner with my brows almost in my hairline. This was brand-new news. “Scout? The girl Parker likes? They’re dating now?”

Parker King, one of Tanner’s roommates, had liked a girl who worked on the social media team at the New York Lions since before I’d known them.

Last Christmas the group of us had gone skating at Rockefeller Center, and Parker had spotted Scout with another guy and promptly declared he was going home in a sulk.

In a bid to get him to stay with the group, Tanner and I had taken a couple of laps of the rink to see what we could deduce.

My assessment had been that Scout wasn’t into the guy all that much and it would be over soon. I’d been correct, and Scout started the current season as a single lady. But I hadn’t heard anything about her and Parker dating.

“Yup.”

“Huh, good for him,” I replied, spearing a raspberry with my fork .

“That was a fun day, wasn’t it?”

I glanced up to find him grinning at me again, his eyes dancing in amusement. This was the Tanner I was so familiar with.

“What was?”

“You’re thinking about the ice-skating, aren’t you? Specifically, our special moment.”

Our special moment. Also known as Tanner getting down on one knee in the middle of the ice, tugging on my hand, and proposing in front of a crowd of people who all cheered us when it was over.

I remember him peering up at me with a smile I wanted to slap off his face.

It was the same smile he was wearing now.

The same infuriating smile that popped into my head uninvited whenever it felt like it.

I rolled my eyes but couldn’t help laughing. Especially when I remember being so annoyed.

I picked up a slice of bacon and crunched down on it. “I wasn’t. No.”

“Yeah, you were. I know it.”

I shook my head. “Aren’t you bored yet?”

“Of what?”

“Trying to get my attention.”

“I’d never get bored of that, Mills.” He broke off a corner of waffle, scooped a dollop of whipped cream onto it, and dipped it into the maple syrup. “But I like it when you smile instead of cry.”

His words were so sincere I almost didn’t know what to do with myself. Annoying Tanner had made a deliberate appearance to distract me from my morning, and because he knew I’d been too annoyed to keep crying .

I didn’t know what to do with this version of Tanner, the one I could bear to share coffee and breakfast with, and talk to about my dad, so I carried on eating until I couldn’t possibly eat any more.

Tanner had already taken one of my waffles and half my bacon, but there was still a ton of food left on the plate when Giuseppe came to clear them away.

“Sorry.” I smiled sheepishly. “It was all delicious, but I truly couldn’t eat another bite.”

“He never expects anyone to finish their food, don’t worry.

It’s his challenge.” Tanner grinned. “Come on, let’s drop your things at yours and you can change, then we’ll go back to mine for a movie afternoon.

Hol brought her new one. You can bring your box if you want,” he added, and it was hard to tell if he was being serious.

“Sure, thank you. If you don’t mind? And thank you for breakfast. I really needed that,” I added honestly.

“My pleasure.”

It took twenty minutes of driving to get over to my dorm at Columbia.

Something had happened during the space of time we’d eaten breakfast, and not just the rain letting up.

The entire journey Tanner was behind the wheel, I was trying not to stare at the subtle flex of his forearm with each turn, or why I found it so hot when he steered with his palm around each corner.

Or my surprise at the plain white face with black Roman numerals and navy leather straps of his watch.

I figured he’d be a chain-link Rolex Daytona type of guy.

But my dad had been a watch guy, and while the Audemars Piguet on Tanner’s wrist might look understated, I knew he wouldn’t get much change from fifty thousand dollars.

“Why’s it so quiet here?” he asked as we drove along the road up to my housing block.

“It’s the summer break, no classes.”

“But you’re still living here?”

“Yeah, we wanted to stay in the city. Radley can go to all the home games, and she’s working at the bookstore. Plus, it’s easier because Secret Service has a permanent base.”

“Oh, cool.” He nodded, pulling into a space directly outside, and turned to me. “You meant to say you were coming to all the home games, too, though, right?”

I couldn’t stop my smile. “Yeah, of course. My mistake.”

“Thought as much.” He reached for the door handle. “Okay, you get your box, I’ll bring the rest.”

“You don’t have to help, I’ll take it up and run back.”

“And miss the chance to see your dorm? I don’t think so.” He laughed, jumped out of the car, and popped the trunk.

The duffel bag was soaked through, and we somehow managed to balance the box on top of the suitcase before the base fell away.

Five minutes later we were outside my dorm room while I rummaged for the key and tried to ignore the creeping sensations of how similar this felt to the end of a date.

Maybe this meant Tanner and I could finally have some kind of friendship, like the one I had with Parker and Lux.

“Thank you for helping me this morning. I know I was expecting Radley, but I’m weirdly happy it was you.”

“I’m happy it was me too. I’ve never run out of my apartment faster.”

“I appreciate it.” My fingers brushed against my key and curled around it as I raised up on my tiptoes and pressed a kiss to his cheek. Except I wasn’t quite tall enough to reach his cheek, it was more the edges of his lip. “Oops, sorry.”

When I dropped down to the flats of my feet, I hadn’t expected Tanner to be staring at me quite as intensely as he was.

I also hadn’t expected my inability to look away, but for the life of me I couldn’t, and the longer he stared, the hotter I became.

A magnetic energy spread over my skin until I could swear I was on fire.

The hairs on my arms and the back of my neck shot up.

No one had ever looked at me like Tanner was looking at me. I don’t even think Tanner had looked at me the way he was looking at me—startled, awed, and like I was his next meal. I was still close enough I could feel his breath.

“Millie…”

I don’t know what came over me. I want to put it down to the emotional intensity of the last twenty-four hours and how I was obviously not thinking clearly, but before he could say any more, I dropped the box and was once again on my tiptoes with my lips pressed to his, and his hands cupped around my cheeks.

I’d never imagined Tanner’s mouth to be so soft, but it was.

So fucking soft, teasing and nipping at mine but with an underlying force that meant I could do nothing but surrender.

A hand slipped to the nape of my neck, hauling me into him while stepping me back into the door until the handle bit into my hip.

I barely felt it, I was too busy focusing on the sensation of his tongue sliding into my mouth with a groan that soaked my panties.

One minute in and I knew this was the best kiss of my life.

Tongues tangling together, hot and wet. The expert way he thrust into my mouth only had me wondering what else he was good at thrusting, and how soon I could find out.

I guess this is what would constitute mouth fucking.

By the time he stepped away, I had one leg wrapped around his hip, preparing to climb him like a tree. His blue eyes were so dark they were almost black as he peered down at me. I slowly lowered my leg.

Oh no, this wasn’t good. Not good at all.

“Millie…” Tanner’s voice licked over my skin. “Open the door. Open the door right now, or I’m knocking it down.”