Page 6

"Look who's grown a spine," Cressida snickers from behind. I turn sharply to see her and her clique, hands on hips, looking mightily smug as they sneer at us.

Instinctively, I tuck Claudia behind me, taking a defensive stance.

"Go away, Cressida," I say, my voice full of confidence. I'm not about to back down, not when Claudia is also with me.

"Go away, Cressida," she mimics my voice, making an ugly face, and the others start laughing. "Look at them both, rejects. Devil's spawn and you," she cranes her neck, seeking to get a better look at Claudia, "with your whore of a mother. Aren't you ashamed to even show your faces around here?"

"How original," I counter, "you're just saying the same old recycled stuff."

I tighten my grip on Claudia's hand and I slowly back away, not wanting a direct confrontation that might result in her getting harmed.

The corner of Cressida's mouth tugs upwards in a vicious half-smile as she slowly steps in front of us.

She's one of the bigger girls in our age group, and I know I don't stand a chance, especially if Claudia might be in danger.

"Go home," I whisper to Claudia, and her big eyes turn toward me in question.

"Go, I'll handle this."

She seems reluctant, but as I urge her with my eyes she seems to understand the gravity of the situation as she suddenly darts out of the cloisters and toward the dorm.

When she's out of sight, I release a sigh of relief and I turn to face my worst enemy again. And this time, I'm not backing down.

"You think we can't catch that brat too? Annie's gang will make sure she gets her due," she says smugly.

"Leave Claudia out of this. Your issue is with me," I reply, meeting her gaze.

I'd never thought that my problems would influence how Claudia is treated too… And now that I'm faced with the possibility, I don't think I can let this slide.

People can hate me and try to tear me down as much as they want. But they can't go after my family.

A smile suddenly spreads over my face as I take a few steps forward until I'm toe to toe with her.

"Don't want to," she replies, her hand already up and ready to strike. This time, however, I'm ready for it, and I catch it midair, my fingers tightening around her wrist in a painful hold.

A small wince crosses her face and she's quick to use her other hand. I don't give her an opening as I bring my knee up and hit her in the stomach.

A sudden intake of air and she gasps, bending forward in pain.

I don't stop as I bring my hand down to her face, placing all my strength into a slap that has her stumbling back.

Her friends are on the sidelines, just watching with wide eyes as Cressida falls to the ground.

I give them a quick glance and they shake their heads, not wanting to get involved.

"Even your friends abandon you when you're at your weakest," I tell her, watching her pitiful form.

"This is the difference between us, Cressida.

You have friends when you have the power to terrorize them, but look how they react when you're down.

" I smile at her. Her eyes are still full of malice as she tries to get herself together.

"I may be hated by everyone else, but at least I have my family," I enunciate each word, knowing that most of the girls around are orphans, and a family is what they crave the most. "When everyone leaves, who do you have?"

I bring my foot as if I'm about to hit her only to see her coil down, folding her body in such a pathetic movement that I can't bring myself to stoop to her level.

Taking a step back, I shake my head at her before I leave.

When I reach the dorm, Claudia is waiting for me outside, her eyes red from crying.

"Aunt Sisi," she cries out, launching herself at me and letting her tears flow.

"Shh, it's okay. Nothing happened," I caress her hair, holding her close.

"But they… they," she hiccups, her words swallowed by the intensity of her sobs.

Taking her by the shoulders, I lower myself so that I'm on eye level with her.

"Claudia, what happened today is not okay," I start, "you should never suffer alone. If they hurt you, tell someone."

"I can't…. Mamma has enough on her plate," she whimpers, and I feel my own eyes misting. Catalina's always tried to take care of us, sometimes even disregarding her own health. Besides, in order to get some extra things for Claudia, she sometimes takes on double the chore load.

"Then tell me," I say, "I'll always be there to help you, okay? Don't hold it in. These people." I shake my head, my own emotions coming to the surface, "They think we're less because of our circumstances. But we're not. You're not, you hear me?"

I don't even know how to express everything I've held within myself for so long. How do I give someone else advice about this when I'm barely surviving myself?

"Yes, Aunt Sisi." Claudia whispers, and I use the pads of my thumbs to wipe the tears from her face.

"Don't let others tell you your worth. You're the only one who can determine that. No matter how cruel people are," I add, both for her and for me, "they can only hurt you if you let them."

She nods at me, her tiny hands clenched in fists. She nods before coming closer and hugging me.

"Thank you," she says against my chest. "Thank you."

We hold on to each other for a while, going back inside only when the tears have dried, and we've returned to our cheerful selves, for Catalina's sake.

"Sisi," Lina calls out to me one afternoon. Confused, I raise my eyebrows in question, but she just waves me over.

"Come," she whispers when I reach her side, "I have something for you."

Going inside our accommodation, she lifts the mattress up to reveal a few stacks of books. Taking a few out, she places them in my arms.

"I asked my brother to sneak some books in," she starts, pointing at the titles, "I told him something more romantic but classic," she blushes as she talks.

My eyes go down to the books and I see most of them are by someone named William Shakespeare.

"They're for you," she adds when she sees me staring at them in wonder.

"For me?" I repeat, almost numbly.

She nods. "I know your birthday passed but." She looks down, almost ashamed. "I've seen you hide around with that book of yours, and I know you're trying to read something… different."

"It's for me," I repeat in wonder, blinking rapidly to chase the tears away.

It's the first time someone's given me something… for me.

"For you," she confirms, giving me one of her kind smiles. I deposit the books on the bed and I give her a big hug.

"Thank you," I start, trying to keep my voice steady, "this means a lot to me." So much she can't possibly imagine.

"I'm glad you like it." She pats my back affectionately.

"I love it." I feel compelled to enforce it.

Drawing back, Lina purses her lips. "You'll have to be careful. If Mother Superior or any of the sisters catch you…"

"Don't worry. I'll be extremely careful," I assure her, immediately switching my attention to the books.

There are three of them, all skinny enough to fit inside my uniform. I quickly peruse the titles; As you like it, Anthony and Cleopatra and Romeo and Juliet.

I skim them quickly, frowning a little at the complicated language, but undeterred in enjoying this gift.

My first.

Thanking Lina once more, I head back to my sanctuary and I hide the books inside the coffin, knowing no one will look there.

For the next week, I try to squeeze some time daily to read, the content of the plays astounding me, making me gasp with excitement, and cry of outrage.

Soon, one play quickly becomes my favorite and as I read about Anthony and Cleopatra's struggles to be together as well as their devotion to one another, I can't help but want something like that for myself.

What would it be like… to have someone love me like that?

But even as I ask the question, I know it is a moot point. I'm destined for a life of loneliness, and even more cruelty. Once Lina and Claudia are gone… I don't even want to think about that.

I take a deep breath, trying not to think about that, knowing that if I dwell too much on it, I'm just going to get more depressed. And why should I ruin my mood when these books make me so happy?

The yearning between the two leads is so palpable on page that my own pulse starts racing as I imagine them in an illicit embrace.

But since my lord is Antony again, I will be Cleopatra.

So intertwined they were that one could not be without the other.

I sigh deeply, trying to picture a faceless man embracing me too, whispering words of love in my ear and peppering my face with kisses.

It might never come to pass, but at least I can dream about it.

Eyes closed; I'm lost in this conjured fantasy when my book is violently snatched from my hands.

Startled, I whip my head around and come face to face with Cressida, a smug look on her lips as she's looking at my book.

"Give it back." I jump up, my hand grasping for it. But since Cressida is taller than me, as she raises her hand in the air, I have no chance of reaching it.

"After you embarrassed me in front of everyone?" She spits the words out, and for a second I'm rooted to the spot as I realize that for the first time, pure malice is dripping from her entire countenance.

"You brought that on to yourself," I add, jumping up to get the book.

Seeing me so desperate for my book, she starts moving it from hand to hand, enjoying my futile efforts to retrieve it.

With a disappointed sigh, I stop.

"Aren't you sick of this? Why do you always have to pick on me?" I try to appeal to her rational side, if she has one.

She just shrugs. "You're there. It's easy."

Not unlike what she'd said years ago, surprisingly, her words have no effect on me. I'd had enough time to think on everything and I'd realized that how she treats me is not a reflection of who I am, rather of who she is.

I'm not the problem.