Page 19

VLAD

" V anya, where are you when I need you?" I sigh, resting my head in my hands. She would have known what to do in this situation.

I don't know what I expected from seeing her again. I certainly hadn't thought about it much. I'd just acted on the spur of the moment, knowing that I could never let her marry anyone but me. And so I'd ensured—rather forcefully—that no one will ever be able to wed her. By marrying her myself.

But everything seems to have backfired.

What would Vanya say?

"Of course it backfired, you idiot! You threatened to kill her entire family." I attempt to imitate my sister.

Well, when you put it like that…

I'd been so desperate that nothing seemed off limits in the moment. I would have done anything to tie her to me forever. Hell, I would have killed her family.

There's absolutely nothing I wouldn't do for her, and that includes mass murder. And genocide. And even nuclear war.

Is there something worse than nuclear war?

Probably stealing candy from a child. And I would have done that too!

But now she hates me…

Not that I blame her, since she has every right to hate me.

But I don't know how to fix it. I don't know how to make her see that I am sincere, and that I'm not playing any games.

I don't know how to show her that I've changed—at least slightly—and that I'm ready to do whatever it takes to win back her love and her trust.

"I screwed up," I mutter to myself, my behavior from yesterday having been nothing short of atrocious.

But how could I have reacted any other way when she managed to break my heart with just a few words?

He worshiped my body and made sweet love to me. He showed me it doesn't have to hurt. And when it does, it hurts good.

I bring my fist up, banging it against my heart in hopes it may lessen the ache. Since she uttered them, those words have kept on replaying in my head, torturing me with the knowledge that she's no longer mine.

That she…

Not only can I not imagine someone else seeing her naked, or touching her. But another man inside her? Bringing her pleasure? Taking my place?

"Fuck." I punch myself even harder.

Why does it seem like there's a dearth of oxygen in the room? Or is it that my lungs can no longer process it? Because the more I think of Sisi— my Sisi— even in the same room as another man, I want to go crazy. But to think of her fucking someone else?

The pain is so unbearable, I can't even stand upright. My feet barely carry me to the bed as I collapse, face down on the mattress.

"It's all my fault," I whisper, knowing I have no one to blame but myself.

I pushed her away.

I pushed her into his arms.

She's right. Can I blame her when all I did was hurt her—both physically and emotionally?

Now I can only hope she'll one day forgive me. Even if I have to do penance every day for the rest of my life, I'll do it as long as she's with me.

She's my one hope in this fucked up world, the only star that shines brightly just for me. And no matter what, I'll regain her trust.

But where to start?

I also need to do it fast, since I'm sure Marcello will eventually figure out it was me who stole her from the church, and he'll come after me—guns blazing.

It's the reason I'd chosen this location, since it's far enough from New York to not give him any ideas, but it's also a place I know Sisi's been in love with for a long time.

Admittedly, I only know this piece of information because I've been monitoring her entire internet presence from day one, often shadowing her movements on the web to understand her better—her likes and dislikes.

When I'd seen that she'd saved multiple pictures of this location, including some of the city, I'd immediately put an offer for the place, intending to surprise her.

Alas, the surprise seems to have fallen rather flat, and she wasn't that impressed with me.

At least all my snooping has ensured I have all the knowledge to court her properly this time. She might be upset with me, but I'll do everything in my power to show her I am in earnest.

I've made extensive lists of items that she might enjoy, and with the help of some very insightful articles on the internet on how to court a woman, I'd designed the perfect plan to woo her.

Surely, at least some of the surprises I have planned should chip away at her distrust.

But even that makes me a little apprehensive, since the first one had already gone so badly.

I turn to look at the desolate gaze of the broken teddy bear and my hope crashes even more in my chest.

And I still have the gigantic bear I'd gotten for her birthday…

She'd not reacted as I expected her to. I thought that since she likes teddy bears so much, an entire legion of them would make her extra happy.

It only made her extra mad.

I should have realized she wouldn't trust my intentions, since I haven't given her much to go off of. From the moment she stepped into this house I just threatened and taunted her, because going on the defensive was so much easier than opening myself to a hell lot of hurt.

But it's not a good strategy.

No, according to online articles, I should try to show her my vulnerable side, not my barbaric one. Of course, all in addition to gifts, compliments, and attention.

I certainly have my work cut out for me if I'm to believe these online gurus. But since I don't plan to give up—not until she forgives me—I have an entire list of things to do that should put her in a more forgiving mood.

Finishing my rather short wallowing session — since I can't afford to lose any precious wooing time — I take a shower and choose my clothing carefully.

One article had specified that I should put effort in my appearance, so I'd spent the entire night online shopping trendy outfits.

Since I'd ventured into the crazy world of online shopping, I'd also ended up getting her many things that women apparently like — perfume, jewelry, handbags and shoes.

And because I'd never realized how pricey these things are, I'd had to have a few words with my bank repeatedly throughout the night.

I guess that's what happens when you spend thousands of dollars on clothes.

And while I'm still waiting for those to be delivered, I have another surprise planned for today.

Freshly showered and with a new attire—a fashionable one—I head to the front of the house to receive the custom order I'd placed for chocolate.

After all, every single article mentioned chocolate and that women love it. I also know for sure that Sisi loves sweets, so it should definitely earn me bonus points.

Signing my name on the form, I tug inside the cart full of chocolate treats, including one rather large chocolate fountain.

I quickly install everything in front of her room—an offering to my goddess—and then I wait.

I stare at my watch anxiously, waiting for her to open her bedroom door and see the sea of chocolate I'd laid there.

Right on the dot, she swings the door open, her eyes widening as she takes in my surprise. I watch her expression carefully, hoping to see a positive reaction.

"Seriously?" she asks, rolling her eyes at me and raising her skirt to bypass the chocolate.

I watch stupefied as she leaves the hallway, making her way downstairs.

She didn't even bat an eye.

Not one to give up, I quickly follow her.

"You like chocolate," I say when I find her in the kitchen, looking around the various empty cabinets.

She pauses, turning toward me to raise an eyebrow.

"What are you trying to do this time, Vlad? Poison me? Give me some type of potion so I succumb to your wiles?" She shakes her head at me, turning her attention back to the kitchen.

"I didn't put anything in it. Look," I tell her, showing her a big box of chocolate and the fact that it's sealed shut. I open it and pop a few pieces in my mouth, wanting her to see there's no poison or any type of potion.

She watches me through narrowed eyes, almost as if she doesn't want to believe me. All the while I can't help myself and stare at her, her beauty never failing to make me speechless.

Even with her short hair, she's simply stunning, and those full lips… I have a hard time swallowing as I get lost in her features, her honey-colored eyes keeping me captive.

Damn, but she makes me forget myself.

"It's really good. Have some," I take a few steps so I'm closer to her, thrusting the box of chocolates in her face.

She looks down at them for a second before shaking her head.

"I'm hungry. So unless you plan to feed me some actual food, I don't care for chocolates now," she says, and my eyes widen.

Of course! Why didn't I think of this?

"Perfect." I smile at her, placing the box on the table and grabbing her hands to lead her to a chair. "Sit down and I'll make you something to eat," I say, a little too enthusiastically for someone who doesn't know how to cook.

But how hard can it be?

"No poison," she mutters with half a smile, and I can't help the happiness that blooms in my chest when I see that. Even if it's half—it's halfway there.

"Of course. I'll make you the best breakfast," I declare.

Leaving her at the table, I ransack the kitchen for some food, realizing that I hadn't gotten much.

There are just a few eggs in the fridge. Nothing else.

Shit!

Looking back, I see her watching me expectantly, and I know this is something that I cannot fail.

Taking the eggs out, I try to remember if I've ever read how they are cooked, and then follow the steps from memory.

Identifying an omelet recipe, I find a bowl, and crack the eggs, then I start whisking them.

"I didn't know you could cook," Sisi notes from behind, still watching me intently.

I didn't know either.

"Piece of cake." I beam at her, even though inside I'm sweating at the thought of doing this all wrong.

It's just eggs! How hard can it be?

When the mixture seems to be homogenous enough, I heat a pan and pour it inside.