The mere fact that he's on his knees in front of me, a most humbling experience, tells me he is serious about this.

"Sisi," he starts, his voice grim yet laced with anguish, "I know I have no right," he breathes deeply, "but I am begging for your forgiveness," he whispers, his body wound tightly as if in physical pain.

"Vlad…" I shake my head, unable to believe what I'm seeing. "What… Why…?"

"I screwed up. But please believe me that I never meant what I said to you. I knew it was the only thing that would drive you away from me, and seeing what I'd done to you, I needed you as far away from me as possible."

"Vlad." I reach out, my hand palming his cheek as I turn his gaze toward me.

"Does it really matter if you meant it or not?

" I ask the question, not expecting an answer.

"I told you my time there shaped my fears and dreams. My greatest dream has always been to find someone to love me above all.

And I know that can't be you," I tell him gently, hoping he will understand why I can't give in to him.

Even if I forgive him for what happened, it doesn't erase the fact that he's not capable of the one thing I want the most.

His eyes look glossy as he raises them to meet mine, his mouth parted as if he can't quite believe what I've said.

"I want something that you're not capable of giving me," I whisper, my hand moving over his face in a light caress.

"What if I could?" he asks, catching my hand with his and bringing it to his lips.

I blink the tears away at his question, the pain in my chest expanding.

"You know you can't," I reply slowly, my own hope dying the moment I acknowledge it out loud.

"Sisi," he moves toward me on his knees, bringing his body in direct contact with mine, "I think I do love you," he says, and my heart skips at the sound of it.

But then I realize he's just trying to placate me. And it hurts even more.

"Please don't lie to me," I whimper.

"I'm not lying." He takes my hands into his before placing them on his chest. "Please listen to me," he says brokenly, and even though I continue to shake my head in disbelief, I cannot not listen.

"I never even knew I was capable of love until you, Sisi," he starts, "I've always been a selfish, self-serving bastard.

Until you. I never cared about human life, never gave a damn about who I killed.

Until you . I've never cared about anyone's happiness before, mostly going out of my way to cause un happiness.

Until you. And I certainly never cared about pleasing anyone before," he releases a harsh breath, " until you. "

He gives my hands a gentle squeeze.

"I don't know if this is love, since I have nothing to compare it to.

But you are the most important person in my life, Sisi.

You're the only reason I'm still somehow alive.

The only reason I'm trying to get better…

To maybe deserve you at some point in the future.

" His words ring in my ears, the sincerity behind them unmistakable.

"Vlad," I call out his name, overwhelmed by his declaration.

"I know I made a mockery of your love for me, when in truth, it warmed me where I didn't know I was cold.

You made me warm, Sisi." He pushes my hands over his heart.

"You made this Goddamn organ do something else besides barely keeping me alive.

You made it want to be alive," he continues, his neck strained with tension.

"So please, Sisi, please, let me show you I can love you above all. Because I know I would take on the entire world for you."

My own knees buckle, and I fall beside him, my teary eyes searching his features for confirmation that he is speaking the truth.

"You're my special, hell girl. The only one. And I don't know if that's how normal people feel love…" I stop him, pressing my finger against his lips.

"It is," I whisper, "because you're my special too," I say and watch in wonder how his expression changes right before my eyes. A face ravaged by pain suddenly becomes steeped in joy, his mouth pulling up in the most gorgeous smile I've ever seen.

"I love you, Sisi," he repeats, and those words alone have a way to move me beyond belief.

"I love you too, Vlad," I say the words back, moving closer to him and wrapping my arms around him, soaking in the feeling of finally being whole.

Because he completes me in an indescribable way.

"So much." His voice caresses my senses as he holds on to me.

And I do feel it.

I do feel his love, and retrospectively, I can see it in his every action.

He just didn't know it was love.

"Please forgive me," he whispers against my hair.

My hands tighten in his shirt as tears rack my body.

"I'll do better. I promise you I'll never hurt you again," he continues, slowly rocking with me, his arms tight around my waist, his face in the crook of my neck.

"Okay," I find myself saying. In spite of my rebelling mind, in spite of my entire history, I find myself giving in.

"I forgive you," I whisper, knowing the words to be true the moment I utter them.

I may have lost myself that night, but his words of love served as a beacon to bring me back to myself.

And because I do feel his love, in every conflicting action and in every misspoken word, I know I can never let go of him again.

"I'm entrusting you with my heart. Please don't crush it again," I tell him.

I don't know if it's the right decision. In fact, I'm not sure of anything else but the fact that I love him. And maybe for once I should let myself be led by my heart, not my mind.

We stay in silence like that, just holding on to one another.

"I'm sorry about the baby," he eventually speaks, and I feel a pang in my chest. "Even if it wasn't mine," he continues, and I feel his heavy breath on my neck. "I'm sorry you had to go through that."

I sniffle a sob, leaning back to look at him.

God, he really means it!

"It was yours," I admit, suddenly ashamed of my lie. "Nothing ever happened with Raf. I lied. I wanted to hurt you somehow…" I trail off.

But the look in his eyes has me blinking my tears away, a lightness appearing on his face, his shoulders sagging in relief.

"Sisi," he groans, his hands cupping my face. "You did hurt me," he says quietly, "I don't think I've ever known greater torment than imagining you with someone else. Pregnant with someone else." Closing his eyes, he sighs, as if a weight has been lifted off his chest.

"Never?" he asks again and I shake my head. He brings my face to his, peppering me with kisses. "You have no idea what that means to me," he says between kisses, "you're mine… only mine…"

"I am," I admit, "you're the only man I've ever kissed, the only one I've ever touched, and you will be the only one I'll ever give myself to.

You have my word. How could I even think of someone else when all I see is you?

When my heart is so full of you? Even when I hated you I loved you," I confess.

And even when I hated him I could recognize that no one would be able to replace him.

"Sisi…"

"There's no me without you either." I nuzzle my face against his chest, realizing I've never spoken truer words.

"No Sisi without Vlad." There's nothing logical about us, nothing remotely explicable about the way I feel about him.

I just do. Even now, I feel him deep inside of me, his presence soothing me and calming my clamoring soul.

"And no Vlad without Sisi," he completes the sentence, laying his forehead on top of mine. "I'm yours. Wholly yours too, Sisi. I would never even look at a woman that's not you, let alone touch. You're the only one in the world for me," he rasps, and relief floods my senses.

I'd never even let my thoughts wander there, because I knew that the thought of him with someone else would drive me crazy. But hearing his confirmation does wonders to my mood.

We stare into each other's eyes, and I feel a peace settle over me.

"I'm sorry about the baby." He gives me a pained expression. "If you want, I'll give you ten. No, a hundred babies. Everything to make you happy, Sisi. Everything, " he says with such staunch conviction that I can't help but cry even more.

"For now you're enough," I whisper, touched by his words, but unsure if I'm ready to go through another heartache again.

He nods, a small smile on his face as one finger traces my scars. His mouth quickly follows as he kisses his way across my entire body, covering each scar.

He lays me on the floor, spread for him, a look of pure adoration on his face as his eyes survey me.

"You're perfect, Sisi. And I love every scar of yours," he murmurs, lowering his head to trace the cross scar with his tongue.

"They made you into who you are," he continues, speaking against my skin and making me shiver—the combination of his wet tongue and his warm breath fogging my senses. "And that makes them beautiful."

I press my hand to his cheek, taking in his heat, somewhat unable to believe any of this is real.

"Please don't hurt me again," I whisper, some residual fear still in the back of my mind.

"I'd rather die than cause you pain again, Sisi," He effortlessly gathers me in his arms, taking me to the bed. "I'll spend my entire life making it up to you for everything I did," he whispers, his breath fanning on my face.

His lips take mine in the sweetest kiss, and I can taste his desperation behind it, the way he's putting everything he has in this one kiss.

"Stay with me," he says, his arms tightening around my body. "Stay with me tonight."

I still for a moment, the pain from before still fresh in my mind.

"We don't have to do anything. I just want to hold you. Please, Sisi," he pleads, and I find myself nodding.

"I'm scared to…" I trail off, trying to find the proper words.

"I know," he replies, "and I can't blame you. I'm sorry," he apologizes again, and I don't think he's ever said sorry to someone before—let alone this many times.

"We'll move past it." I lightly caress his face. "Slowly."

"I'll go as slow and I'll be as gentle as you want me to, Sisi. I just need to know you're by my side. The rest doesn't matter."

He holds me close to his body, spooning me from behind as I tell him everything that happened in the past few months, as well as why I'd agreed to marry Raf.

I can feel the tension in his body every time I mention his name, so I want to make it clear that Raf's never been anything but a good friend.

"I don't know what I would have done if you'd actually slept with him," he suddenly says, his voice somber. "Killed him? Hunted down his entire family and killed all his living relatives? Given you a lobotomy…" he trails off and an amused smile creeps on my face.

"You'd have given me a lobotomy?" I shift, turning so I can face him.

And he's definitely not joking.

"So that you'd forget ever being with him. So that I'm the only one for you. Ever ," he continues, still as serious as before.

"Oh, Vlad." A small smile tugs at my lips while his expression remains stoic.

"I'm serious," he pouts, and I'm suddenly reminded how cute he can get in spite of his psychotic tendencies. But that's what I love about him. That duality and the fact that I know he's only cute with me.

I'm his one exception, just like he is mine.

"I love you," I whisper, laying my head on his chest, my entire being infused with happiness when he says the words back.

And I sleep peacefully for the first time in months.