Page 67 of His Elder

"And did staying save any of those things?"

I shook my head.

"So his sacrifice was for nothing."

"No." The word came out sharp. "No. It wasn't for nothing. Because it showed me what love actually looks like. What I'm supposed to be willing to do. What matters more than doctrine or reputation or conditional acceptance."

Maria squeezed my hands. "Then what are you going to do about it?"

I looked up at her. Her face was kind but fierce. An ally I'd never expected to find.

"I'm going to tell the truth," I said. "All of it. I'm going to stop protecting myself and start honouring what he did. What we had."

"Even if it costs you everything?"

"I've already lost everything that matters. The only question is whether I lost it for a lie or for the truth."

She smiled. Sad but proud. "You're braver than you think."

"I'm terrified."

"Brave people usually are." She released my hands and stood. "Samuel, I can't tell you what to believe. But I can tell you what I see. And I see someone who's been taught that love is conditional. That acceptance requires conformity. That being yourself is a sin."

"That's what the church teaches."

"Then the church is wrong." She said it simply. Matter-of-factly. "Any religion that destroys people for being honest about who they are has lost its way. Any God who demands you hate yourself to earn His love isn't God. He's a tyrant."

I thought about eighteen months of perfect obedience. Prayer and fasting and scripture study. Baptisms and lessons and sacrificing everything I wanted.

All in pursuit of a love that was never unconditional in the first place.

"You don't have to stay Mormon," Maria said gently. "You don't have to keep believing in something that's only brought you pain. There's a whole world out here—people who will love you exactly as you are. Including Eli, probably, if you can find him. And Eli is free now.” She raised an eyebrow. "Free from the same system that's been torturing you. Maybe that's not a punishment. Maybe that's liberation."

I stood on shaking legs. "I need to go see President Dalton. Tell him everything. Request to go home."

"And then?"

"And then I find Eli. Apologize for staying silent. For letting him believe I'd choose the church over him. For being too afraid to fight for what we had." I met her eyes. "And I try to be worthy of what he did forme."

Maria walked me to the door. Before I left, she pulled me into a quick, tight hug.

"Your church will tell you you're making the wrong choice," she said. "They'll say you're lost, deceived, giving in to Satan. But Samuel? You're not lost. For the first time since I've known you, you actually look like you know where you're going."

"Thank you," I whispered. "For being honest. For seeing us. For asking the questions that started all of this."

"I'm glad I could help." She smiled. "And for what it's worth? I think Eli is very lucky. Not everyone gets loved enough that someone's willing to blow up their entire life for them."

I left her apartment with her words ringing in my ears.

Took the Metro back toward the mission office.

I had a confession to make. A truth to tell. A sacrifice to honour.

And somewhere beyond all of that—somewhere in the ruins of what the church would make of me—I had a future to build.

One where I could finally, honestly, be myself.

Sister Roig looked up when I entered the mission office. Her expression shifted from professional to concerned when she saw my face.