Page 56 of His Elder

The clinical words made my skin crawl. Like what Samuel and I had shared in the dark could be reduced to a checklist of violations.

"Yes," I said. "All of them. He tried to resist at first. Tried to stay faithful. But I wore him down. Told him it felt good, so how could it be wrong? Told him the prophets were just old men who didn't understand. I—" I let my voice crack slightly. "I seduced him."

President Dalton set down his pen and removed his glasses, rubbing the bridge of his nose. When he looked at meagain, his expression had changed. The careful neutrality was gone, replaced by something harder.

"Elder Vance, you came to this mission with a troubled record. Multiple companions in Madrid. Reports of disobedience and lack of spiritual commitment."

"Yes."

"And now you're telling me that you deliberately pursued another elder—a faithful, obedient young man—and led him into serious sin."

"Yes."

"Do you understand how serious this is?" His voice sharpened. "Not just for you, but for Elder Price? You've put his eternal salvation at risk. You've derailed his mission, his future, his relationship with his family. All because you couldn't control your—your base desires."

Base desires.As if loving Samuel was something filthy. Something degrading.

I wanted to scream. To flip the desk. To tell President Dalton that his doctrine was poison, that his God was cruel, that loving Samuel was the first pure thing I'd ever felt in my entire life.

But Samuel was in the hallway, broken and weeping. And if I fought back now, we'd both be destroyed.

So I lowered my head and whispered, "I know. I'm sorry."

"Are you?" President Dalton leaned back in his chair. "Because from where I'm sitting, it seems like you came on this mission with no real intent to serve. You've been disobedient from the start. And when you were paired with a faithful companion, instead of rising to his example, you dragged him down to your level."

The narrative was forming. I could hear it crystallizing in his voice. The predator and the victim. The faithless elder and the golden boy. The story that would let Samuel survive this.

"Elder Price told me he takes responsibility for his choices," President Dalton said. "That he made the final decision to engage in sexual activity with you. But based on what you've just described—the sustained manipulation, the exploitation of his vulnerability—I have to question whether his judgment was truly free."

I looked up sharply. Because there it was. The out. Not for me. For Samuel.

His judgment was compromised. He was coerced. He's a victim.

"I didn't force him," I said, because I had to. Because even in this twisted confession, I couldn't let President Dalton think I'd hurt Samuel that way.

"No," President Dalton agreed. "But there are many ways to coerce someone, Elder Vance. Emotional manipulation. Spiritual exploitation. Telling a young man who's desperately trying to be faithful that his Church is wrong, that his prophets are wrong, that he should give in to temptation—thatiscoercion."

My hands clenched on the armrests. Because he was right, in a twisted way. Ihadtold Samuel the Church was wrong about him. Ihadencouraged him to stop hating himself. But not to hurt him. Tosavehim.

"Elder Price is clearly struggling with same-sex attraction," President Dalton continued. "And instead of supporting him in his efforts to remain chaste, you exploited his trial for your own gratification. You preyed on him."

The word hit like a slap.Preyed.

"That's not—" I started, but President Dalton held up a hand.

"I've heard enough." He stood, his chair scraping against the floor. "Based on what you've told me, you will be sent home immediately. Your case will be referred to your homestake for Church discipline. At minimum, you'll face disfellowshipment. More likely, excommunication."

The words should have terrified me. Should have made me beg for mercy, for another chance.

But all I felt was a strange, hollow relief. Because if President Dalton was focused on punishing me, maybe he'd go easier on Samuel.

"Elder Price's situation is more complex," President Dalton said, as if reading my thoughts. "He's admitted to serious sin, which will require discipline. But there are mitigating factors—your manipulation, his genuine remorse, his otherwise faithful service. I'll need to consult with the Area Presidency, but there may be a path forward for him."

My throat closed. "He can finish his mission?"

"That's not your concern." President Dalton's voice turned cold. "Your concern is accepting full responsibility for what you've done. For the damage you've caused. Do you understand?"

I understood perfectly.