Page 2 of His Elder

My heart lurched. Straight. What did he—

"I'm here because I screwed up in Madrid. Notscrewedscrewed up, don't panic. I didn't break the law of chastity or whatever you're thinking." His mouth twisted. "I just... disagreed with my companion. Loudly. About whether we should be spending four hours a day knocking doors in neighbourhoods where people literally cross the street to avoid us."

"Door-to-door finding is an approved method—"

"Door-to-door finding is a waste of time and you know it." He leaned back on his elbows, watching me. "When's the last time you actually baptized someone you met knocking doors?"

Three months ago. The Castillo family. But they'd been less-active members returning to church, which maybe didn't count, and—

"We're called to serve however the Lord directs."

"Right." He sighed, absentmindedly scrubbing a hand through his hair. The gel was definitely losing its battle. "Okay. Here's the deal. I've got sixteen months left on this thing. You're obviously a Book of Mormon thumping rule-follower, which is fine. Great, even. I'll follow your lead, show up where I'm supposed to, smile at the families. But I'm not going to pretend I'm having some kind of spiritual experience every time we memorize another discussion or whatever. Can you live with that?"

Could I?

I thought of Elder Morrison, who'd cried himself to sleep every night for two weeks before he finally called his parents and asked to come home. Who'd whispered, the night beforehe left, that he couldn't feel anything here. No Spirit, no answers, just... empty. I'd stayed up all night after he left, praying that it wasn't contagious, that doubt couldn't seep through walls.

And now here was Elder Vance, who apparently hadn't even bothered to hide his doubts.

"I can live with it," I said, "if you follow the mission rules."

"Sure thing, Scout's honour." He held up three fingers, the gesture somehow mocking. "White handbook, page one through whatever. Companion within sight and sound at all times, no unapproved media, lights out by ten-thirty. I know the drill."

"Good."

"Great." He stood, grabbed a fresh white shirt from the drawer. "I'm going to shower before this meeting. That cool?"

I nodded. He disappeared into the tiny bathroom, and a moment later I heard water running.

I sat at the desk, pulled my scriptures into my lap, let them fall open. Alma 37:37.Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good.

My fingers traced the verse I'd highlighted in yellow, then pink, then yellow again.

Please, I prayed silently.Please let this be different. Please let him not be a test. Please...

But I didn't finish the prayer, because I didn't know what I was asking for anymore.

ELIAS

District meeting was exactly as tedious as I'd expected.

Elder Price sat ramrod straight in the folding chair besideme, his scriptures open to the exact verse President Dalton referenced, his pen poised over his journal. He took notes. Actual notes, in tiny, perfect handwriting, underlining key phrases like "obedience brings blessings" and "trust in the Lord's timing."

I drew a small bird in a cage in the margin of my planner and tried not to fall asleep.

President Dalton was going on about baptism goals—each companionship was expected to have at least one per month—and the importance of "bold invitations." Around the room, eight other missionaries nodded with varying degrees of enthusiasm. Most of them looked young. Younger than nineteen, even, though that was impossible. Maybe it was just the exhaustion that made them look like kids playing dress-up.

"Elder Price," President Dalton said, and I felt Elder Price straighten even more beside me, which seemed physically improbable. "You and Elder Vance will continue with the Moreno family. How are they progressing?"

"Very well, President." Elder Price's voice carried that same earnest tone he'd used all morning. "Sister Moreno has read through Alma, and their daughter Sofia is preparing for baptism. We're working with Brother Moreno on the Word of Wisdom, but he's been attending church regularly."

"Wonderful. And have you invited them to set a date?"

A pause. Tiny, barely noticeable. "Not yet, President. I wanted to make sure the foundation was solid first."

"Faith precedes the miracle, Elder. Don't wait for perfection—invite them to act." President Dalton chastized. "I'd like to see Sofia baptized within the month. Can you commit to that?"

"Yes, President."