Page 53 of Hell Bent

“What, I get to choose? Maybe Ben wants to decide.” I still had my arm around her, and she felt just fine. She had this … springiness around her midsection from being so fit. I’d never felt that on a woman before.

Ben shrugged. “I’ve never had Indonesian. I’ve had Thai a couple of times. It has a lot of vegetables.”

“What do you and your mom eat most?” That was Alix, of course. I wouldn’t have brought his mom up right now.

“We don’t go out to restaurants,” Ben said. “She’s tired after work. Well, she was. She lets me order things.”

“Pizza,” Alix guessed.

“Chinese sometimes,” Ben said. “Noodles. Or KFC.”

“Then,” Alix said. “you’re overdue for an adventure. Are you up for an adventure, Sebastian?”

“You bet I am,” I said, because it was true.

“Indonesian,” Alix said. “Now, how did that happen? Because I already made a reservation there.”

“Hardly manipulative at all,” I said. And she laughed again.

It washard to believe the amount of food Ben put away. We ordered the rice table, because Alix said she wanted to try everything, and I may have wanted to encourage that attitude. Soon, the table was crowded with dishes large and small, and Ben was grabbing handfuls of a sort of stretchy, flaky flatbread, dipping it into a spicy curry and then into another one, and practically lunging across the table to get more. He had beef sambal piled on his plate, too, and was trying all the sauces. He ate half the chicken satay dipped inpeanut sauce, and at least a third of the zucchini and corn fritters, possibly because the vegetables were disguised enough for him to ignore them. The place was busy, casual, and a little loud, so we mostly just ate. Maybe a better icebreaker anyway.

Things had quieted down a bit by the time we got dessert, which were some doughnut-hole-type things that Alix and I passed on, which left Ben happily eating all of them. He was doing that, along with drinking his second Coke, and Alix and I were having grassy-tasting tea when she said, “I think Ben has something to tell you.”

Ben shot a look at her and said, “Seriously?”

“Seriously,” she said. “I told you, you don’t want to be a liar. Nobody trusts a liar.”

He exhaled loudly. “Fine. I drank some of your horrible Scotch, or whatever, Sebastian. You should probably say thank you, because it’s gross.”

I said, “Is this an apology? Because it doesn’t sound like one.”

“What, I’m supposed to be sorry?” Ben didn’t actually push the plate of doughnuts away, but otherwise, he registered his disgust. “I was mad, OK?”

I said, “I get that.”

“You keep saying that,” he said. “Like it matters. But I’m still stuck here. I don’t even know how my mom’s doing!”

“Didn’t you call her today?” He looked away, and I said, “Some of this, you realize, is going to have to come from you. If you care about her, and I know you do, you need to figure out a way to make her feel better about you being gone.”

“I need to makeherfeel better?” he demanded. “When you guys are the ones who made me leave?”

I breathed in, breathed out, and centered myself. “Yeah, dude. If you love her, I think you do. You can tell her howmuch you miss her, but do you really want to make her feel worse right now?”

Ben looked down and dabbed at some doughnut crumbs with a finger, and I said, “Look. I know it’s too hard. Of course it’s too hard. The whole situation sucks, for herandfor you. As soon as my season’s over, I’ll take you back up there and stay as long as you both need.”

He looked up, at least. “But that could be, like, weeks!”

“It will be weeks,” I agreed. “And it’s hard, because I want to see her, too, and I can’t.”

“Because football’s more important than somebodydying,”he said.

“It’s my job,” I said. “It’s my team. You don’t leave your team when they need you. You just don’t.”

“You leave your family when they need you instead,” he said, and the force of the words had me sitting back in my chair.

“That hurts,” I said. Alix still wasn’t saying anything. She was just watching. I said, “Help me out here anytime.”

She said, “You’re doing fine.” Quietly, and now, she took my hand under the table.