Page 104 of Hell Bent

“This is … assault,” Ned gasped. “I’ll press charges.”

“No,” I said. “You’re trespassing. Sebastian is removing you. Give him the keys, Mother.”

My mother said, “Oh, for heaven’s sake,” but she pulled the fob from her purse and handed it over.

Sebastian said, “Right. Let’s go.”

Which would have been an excellent idea, except that Ididn’t seem to be done yet. I said, “Thanks for showing up and saying all that. Seriously, thanks. I don’t know why I didn’t realize before, but the real reason I ran? You’re a snob. Why did you want to go out with some ancient college student-slash-electrician in the first place, one who wasn’t even up for the kind of rough sex a successful man like you is due? I’ll bet Brian had things to say about that, didn’t he? It was because I’m a princess. Because of that house, and guess what? I’m an only child! And because of my mother, who’s a snob, too, but I love her, so I forgive it. But I don’t want tomarryit.”

Sebastian just looked at me over Ned’s head—Ned was a little bent over by this point—and I said, “What?”

He said, “You done?”

“Not quite,” I decided. “And I shouldn’t have to say this. Maybe I’m a snob, too, but at least I’m working on it. The reason your CrossFit class isn’t doing anything for you right now? That’s because Sebastian plays for the NFL and works out so much harder than that every single day. You lose both ways.”

“Which makes you,” Ned gritted out through the pain, “a hypocrite.Anda snob.”

“Well, if that means I like hot guys,” I said, and Sebastian laughed. Fortunately.

“Because the money doesn’t matter,” Ned said. “Get real.”

“I don’t need his money,” I said. “I didn’t needyourmoney. I don’t need my parents’ money, either. I do fine.”

“Right,” Ned said. “You’re living at a KOA.”

“That’s why I do fine,” I said. “It’s the Charles Dickens philosophy.”

“What?”Ned looked mighty uncomfortable. I probably shouldn’t be keeping him here talking, but it seemed I was doing it anyway.

“Because I like my trailer fine,” I said, “and living at theKOA costs me about a thousand bucks a month, Mr. Micawber,David Copperfield.‘Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen nineteen and six, result happiness.Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pound ought and six, result misery.’ My grandpa taught me that. Something to think about.”

“You done now?” Sebastian asked.

“Yes,” I said.

“I’mnot done,” my mother said.

Sebastian had his patient face on now. “Go ahead. I can hold this guy all night. He’s not exactly straining me here.” At which Ned did some more struggling, to absolutely no avail.

My mother said, “I’m surprised at you, Ned. Surprised, and disappointed. Talking like that to a woman.”

“Wake up,” Ned said. “Men don’t want to be bossed around, and they don’t want to be told they can’t go hard in bed, either. Alix wanted me because I let myself be pushed around, but I’m not doing it anymore.”

My mother said, “That is too ridiculous to justify a response. And I don’t want you in my car. Please call for a ride back to wherever you plan to stay tonight, as we’ve missed the last flight. You may sit in the car until it comes, as it’s raining.”

Ned said, “I’m just telling the truth. Not my fault if you don’t like it.”

“Yeah,” I said. “Thanks. You said it. We got it. My feelings are really hurt. Congratulations.” Since I sort of spit that out, it probably didn’t sound sincere.

Sebastian said, “Open the door for me, then, and let me get this guy out of here.” So I did.

That left me with my mother, who wasted no time. “I must say,” she said, “I see Ned in a different light now. He was provoked, but no man should say those things. About sex in particular. What was it that he wanted to do?”

“If you really want to know,” I said, “I can probably take apretty good guess. Men watch too much porn, and they think it’s operating instructions. There have been articles about that, if you don’t want to hear it from me.”

“No, thank you,” she said. “On either thing. You know that you don’t have to go along with anything inappropriate, though, don’t you? You’re taking care of yourself?”

“Yes, Mother,” I said, still wanting to laugh. “I’m taking care of myself, and Sebastian’s taking care of me, too. In every possible way.”