Page 51

“Sh-sh-sh-sh-sh. Stop interrupting, or I'll make this take a month of Sundays.

" Dropping her chin, closing her eyes, and holding up her hand as if she was channeling Tammy Faye Baker, Desi threw out her best southern accent and unashamedly assured, "And y'all know I can do it.

With God with a capital G as my witness, you know I can and will make you sit right there and wait, wait, wait.

It's my right, nay, my duty as your little sister, to make you crazy. It’s why younger siblings were created. "

Making a show of zipping her lips and throwing away the key, Faye had to wonder if all the other Powers That Be, gods, goddess, Omnipotent Beings, and otherwise Powerful Ones in the universe were reduced to placating their siblings, playing nice, and generally wishing to have their nails pulled out by tiny Gnomes with rusty pliers when forced to converse with members of their Family.

She couldn't be the only one, right? They all went through it.

“Why yes. Yes, they do,” the Omnipotent Being known as Destiny sarcastically nodded with a satisfied grin that made the little hairs on the back of Fate’s neck stand on end.

“Stop. Reading. My. Mind.”

“Pfft,” Desi goaded with an offhanded swish of her hand. “Looks like you need a heavy-duty imaginary lock for those lips, Sis.”

Refusing to rise to the bait, Faye mirrored her sister’s posture – down to the hand with the tapping index finger poised on the apex of her knee - and sat perfectly still.

Looking at Desi – her exact opposite right down to her silver hair and onyx eyes that twinkled with starlight - the Omnipotent Being known as Fate had to admit they made a pretty good pair.

From the beginning of time, they'd been sisters, best friends, and an unstoppable team.

They were the hidden Powers responsible for the beginning, middle, end, and everything in between of the existence of every living being.

Of course, in the beginning, they'd argued over who would do what, but Auntie Uni stepped in, pulled them by ear, and put things in order.

From that moment on, Destiny did all the planning, and Fate controlled the flow and sequence.

Both could do what they did best – Desi was the organizer, and Faye was the chaos.

Talk about a match made in Heaven. And so, it had been until the creation of the Primordial gods, the Titans, and the Welsh and Celtic gods.

Or more to the point, the one and only Arawn.

Caught off guard by his glowing blue eyes, the aura of Power, and yes, his sexy butt, Faye was unprepared and unwilling to admit that she – the Omnipotent Being known as Fate - had been given a Mate.

What was Auntie Uni thinking? Had She lost Her ever-loving mind?

What was the Being responsible for the flow of the lives of… of… of….

“The word you’re lookin’ for is everything ,” Desi chuckled.

“And you know exactly what all The Powers That Be were thinking – that you and I would live forever and ever amen, and we would need a partner in crime – other than each other – to live with throughout said happily ever after.

Of course, they also expect us to be 'fruitful and multiply.

' And while that's not a bad thing, I want the ratio of practicing to childbearing to be about one-point-three-two-five million to one. "

“Yes, but….”

"Yes, but nothing. So, you've found yours, and I haven't.

That's the way things go. I'm sure my hunka-hunka-burnin' love is out there…

." Holding up her index finger and popping it side to side like the pendulum of a metronome, Desi pushed out a sharp breath and kept right on going.

"But until then, we need to get you on the road to your fairy tale ending because, as we both know, Fate will not be denied. "

“There are days that I truly hate that saying.”

"Yeah, well, you should try being stuck with Destiny waits for no man." Giving a deadpan stare, Desi quickly added, "Because, Sis, I've been doing just that for longer than I care to admit."

“Well, what about the Universe does not make mistakes?” Faye snorted. “We both know….”

“Watch it…” The low rumbling of a smoky voice shook the confines of Fate’s office. “I brought you into this world. And I can take you out.”

Eyes widening and mouth dropping open, Faye burst out in uncontrollable laughter.

Whether it was the fact that Desi had the same look on Her face or that they'd been caught dissing none other than THE Universe by that very same Omnipotent Being, or that Fate was just glad not to be talking about Mr. Tall, Dark, and Dangerous anymore didn't matter. It was good to laugh.

Waiting until the shake and shimmy of her office ceased, Fate looked left and right, up and down, then whispered, “Busted.”

Laughing so loud there was no doubt they could be heard by the creepies and crawlies who lived all the way in the depths of The Milwaukee Deep in the Bermuda Triangle and everywhere else, Fate added through the chuckles, "And here I thought She was done eavesdropping on us."

"Never," Desi teased. "Aunt Uni can't help but keep an eye – and both ears – on us. You know, She’s always been a control freak and has never trusted us farther than She can throw us."

“Yeah, but it comes from a good place.”

“Whatever you say.”

Shifting in her seat, Faye reached up and pulled on her right earlobe.

An irritating buzz that hadn’t been there before was doing its darndest to bore a hole into her brain.

Something close to the static of a shortwave radio that wasn’t quite tuned into the right channel and was turned all the way down, the annoying whir made her envision the turntable of a victrola going round and round as the needle dug a groove into a warped record.

Unable to stop, she did the same to the other ear. Rolling her shoulders backward, forward, then backward again, she straightened her spine and inhaled deeply. Nothing had even been created she couldn't shut down – or ignore in a grandiose fashion. So, why was the noise getting louder?

Trying to pay attention as Desi continued to rant about Fate’s love life – or lack thereof – the little hairs on the back of her neck and up and down her arms stood on end for the second time.

Opening her senses wide, Faye listened for any disruption in the universe, the Heavens, or down on the Earth below.

Opening her mouth to ask Destiny if she was experiencing anything weird, Fate stopped short as her sister's brow furrowed, her lips turned down, and she reached up and pulled on her left earlobe.

"Since neither of us is auditioning to replace Carol Burnette, I'm thinkin’….”

Knock! Knock! Knock!

Before Faye could stop what she was saying, change the gears of her brain, and respond, ‘Come in,’ the door to her office burst open with such force that the shimmering silver knob went deep into the gleaming white wood and her butler rushed in like a bat out of Hell.

Usually looking as if he'd just walked off the centerfold of Butler's Quarterly, Carlton was nothing short of a disheveled mess.

The three gray hairs usually combed over his age-spotted cue ball of a head were sticking out in every direction.

One of the very pointed tips of the collar of his heavily starched white shirt was tucked in correctly while the other stood at attention.

His tie was untied – something Fate had never seen in all the millennia he'd been in her service - with the tails flying willy-nilly on the copious waves of Magic the old man exuded.

And to top it off, his watery blue eyes were the color of gunmetal, and his voice sounded like he'd been on a three-day bender drinking hundred-year-old scotch and smoking unfiltered menthol Pall Malls with the Rat Pack.

Of course, none of that, nor the increasingly annoying buzz in her ears, stopped Fate from being a stickler for the rules. "Since when do you enter my office before I have given you permission?”

“Since the Gates of Hell have opened wide, your Dragons and their Mates are trying to fight off the population of the deepest Pits of the Underworld, and Arawn cannot be found.”

"Well, shit," Desi complained. "I guess that means I don't get to ask my three questions."

"Thank God with a capital G and Auntie Uni for small favors."

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