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Chapter Thirteen

N ot waiting for a reply, the goddess tapped the mirror with what was left of the tip of the now-blunt nail on the end of the index finger of her dead side and kept right on going.

“But that is neither here nor there… yet . I need to have something locked and loaded and it’s your turn to come up with a plan.

I can’t rope Garmr, or anyone else for that matter, into another of my hairbrained schemes.

Because I absolutely positively refuse to lie, I had to embarrass myself more than I thought possible, call that lovely Wolfman over here to the castle, and ask him for his advice about… ” She gulped. “…my love life.”

“Or lack thereof…”

The Dragoness Queen’s haughty tone tap danced all over Hel’s last nerve like nails on a chalkboard. No, she shouldn’t have risen to the bait. Yes, she should’ve kept her sarcastic comments to herself.

No , she most assuredly did not.

“Well, my dear friend…” She let her own special brand of sarcasm drip off the last word and was rewarded with a flaring of the Carys’s nostrils. It was almost enough to make her stop… just almost.

“… since you pointed out that asking him to lift something or fix something or move something I could do with a snap of my fingers would be a form of deception and therefore a lie, I had to do the only thing I could. Tell the truth and be mortified for, oh, let’s just say, the next four or five decades. ”

“Oh, hush,” the Dragoness scoffed. “You’ll get over it. Just as soon as you….”

“No, no, no,” Hel interrupted. “Let’s set the record straight. I’ll get over it as soon as you come up with a way for me to get out of the party I am just as sure as God with a capital G made little green apples is coming our way.”

“But I…”

“Ah ah ah…. Like I said, you do it and the world is your sky. I’ll even call Nostradamus and his cute little Feydragon, Em, and have them post it on Ghougle.

I know you know that it’s the worldwide web for all the Magical, Supernatural, Paranormal and Other Beings in the universe.

” Wiggling her fingers, something she often did when trying to come up with a word or phrase, Hel finally relented and asked, “What do the kids call it?” Lightly bopping herself in the forehead with the heel of her hand, she snorted, “Duh. The internet.” Not waiting for a response, she kept right on going.

“I know you’ve already been on there a million times.

You think I’m clueless, but I am well aware that it’s how you watch Biteflix, PixiePic+, and all the others you are always glued to?

Doesn’t everybody who is anybody have Enchant-a-mail, and are posting the stupidest shit from their everyday lives on Shadebook and Fangagram and the one with all the movies that I can never remember the name of? ”

“It’s WicPic, as you well know.”

“Nope, didn’t remember that one at all. I swear…”

“Oh, puhlease do spare me the dramatics,” Carys snapped.

“Don’t even start that ‘I’m a technophobe’ BS.

I know better than anyone that you watch Netflix for all the human shows just as much as I do.

Admit it. You love it all. We share a subscription to everything, and I know damned good and well that I did not bookmark those stupid reality and cooking shows.

I also saw that you added Amazon Prime–another human streaming service, I might add– to watch that insane Home Improvement Network.

Like you were gonna DIY anything but your garden.

Then there is all the foreign language stuff.

Did you actually brush up on your Chamicuro so when the two people in the world who use it to communicate can talk to you when they show up at the Gates of Helheim? "

“I am so not dealing with your rebuttals right now.” Pushing on like a steam roller through granite just to keep Carys from butting in again, Hel picked up right where she’d been forced to leave off.

“As I was saying, you were telling me about those Fairy teenagers videoing every moment their lives and posting it to GhoulTube just the other day. Like anyone cares that they dipped chocolate into their sweet milk. Wait! That’s it!

” Slapping the palms of her hands together with such energy that the resulting clap echoed through the Castle, Hel whooped with all the faux enthusiasm she could muster.

“That’s what we’ll do! As soon as you figure out how to get me out of the party I know is coming… ”

“You think is coming.”

“I’m not listening,” Hel singsonged, not so much as taking a breath. “As I was saying, once you do what you need to do, I’ll get your brother down here to film you’re whole ‘Dragon Queen coming out flight’ and we’ll post it everywhere.”

“Well, yes, but…” There was a touch of trepidation in the Dragoness’s tone that hadn’t been there before, but that didn’t stop Hel.

“Yes! Why not? Let’s invite every damn living soul into our world, our Realm, the amazingness that is Helheim.

It’ll be a mother-humpin’ celebration unlike any other.

” Pointing at Carys with both her hands and all her fingers forming the shape of finger-guns, she added, “You come up with a plausible excuse for me to miss Desi’s party and I will have a Goddess-be-damned celebration in your honor that will make Destiny and all The Powers That Be envious.

Everybody will be there! It’ll be like Mardi Gras, Sigrblót, and Midsumarblót all rolled into one.

We can even have fireworks, kegs of Dionysus’s newest brew all the Magical, Mythical, and Supernatural in the universe love so very much, and watch people throw ping pong balls into all those ugly red plastic cups like the humans do.

It’ll be a party unlike any other and all of it will be in your honor, Carys, my dear. ”

Fire burned brightly in the depths of the Dragoness’s eyes.

The goddess could literally feel her thinking.

The wheels were turning at a high rate of speed.

The weight of the Dragoness’s contemplation was heavy, but Hel refused to eavesdrop on her thoughts.

That was something she’d never done and would never do without consent or a life-threatening emergency.

She had too much love and respect for Carys to do something she saw as dirty and deceitful.

Those were the tricks of her counterparts, and she tried with all her might to steer clear of all of it.

No, she would just wait and see what happened.

However, it wasn’t hard to guess that Carys was weighing the pros and cons of Hel’s offer.

It also didn’t take an astrophysicist, brain surgeon, or old Aristotle himself to figure out that the Dragoness knew damned good and well that the goddess was most assuredly going to let her out of their secrecy pact and allow Carys to tell the world of her existence.

She knew better than anyone else that the Norse goddess of the Dead and Helheim did not lie, she did not exaggerate, she did not mislead, and she always kept her promises.

If she said something was going to happen or she was going to do something–Hel did it…

No matter how long it took her to get it done.

But still…

“Dammit!” She spat when the knocking at the door started again.

Then came more obnoxious ringing of the bell.

It wouldn’t be long before the Valkyrie was yelling, but Hel refused to look away.

It was the standoff she’d known was coming for at least the last hundred years.

She’d held the Dragoness with whom she shared her soul to their agreement for way too long, and she was woman and goddess enough to admit it.

But she was also scared.

Yes, the Norse goddess of Helheim and the Dead was absolutely terrified that once the whole world knew about the Dragoness Queen with whom she shared her soul neither one of them would ever be truly safe again.

There would be no rest, no place they could hide, and every day would be a new adventure in survival.

People would see them, most significantly Carys but also Hel because they were irrevocably joined, as an endless well of Magic, Power, and Strength for the taking.

It wasn’t a secret that the Welsh Kings of Aberffraw had been repeatedly attacked by marauders from all over the world trying to steal the Magic of Carys’s brother, Y Ddraig Goch, or as she called him, Dewi.

If it hadn’t been for the Original Mage, known as Merlin because of all the stupid fairy tales, Dewi would’ve surely been captured, kept alive under incredible duress and constantly tapped for his Magic long before Carys was even born and until the end of time.

The Dragoness would’ve grown up without anyone and never truly understanding her place in the universe.

Carys was tough, but she was made stronger–damn near invincible–because she’d had the love and support of her brother and the stern, but devoted teaching and rearing of the Original Mage.

For that and so many reasons, Hel would forever be in debt to both incredible Beings.

With that in mind, Hel knew she would never forget the day she and Carys were joined.

She’d been so happy, utterly thrilled, and the few involved let her enjoy every second of getting used to sharing her soul with a true Dragoness Queen.

They had flown high above the clouds of Asgard for hours hidden from prying eyes by Frigga’s Enchantment.

So tired, but not wanting to stop, the young goddess and the Dragoness had finally landed, and Carys had retreated to the back of Hel’s psyche.

It was then that Frigga, Odin, Dewi, and the Original Mage explained the importance of building strong Magical wards and being prepared for Others–especially Loki and Angrboda–to try to get them to use their combined Magic, Power, and Strength for less than honorable pursuits.